create a craft

weekend escape..

2010-03-02T13:07:00.001+02:00

when you feel as an old dusty stage decor.. in your own life..

it’s the road that calls you..

it’s the road that takes you away from your heart breaks..

taht shows you there is a spring.. a hope.. even though it doesn’t change the sadness to lifebursts ..at one..

that there are bright colours in the dusty greys..

colours that remind you of a gentel lady.. telling you moss green .. walnut moss freen.. lemon moss green.. are different and very precious shades.. and you feel warm inside.. and this wartmth increases when you share this memory with friends and they listen quietly and still you know they understand this is a very deep moment..

it’s the road that takes you to places where broken and shabby doesn’t mean not-precious.. where you remember.. that light pours from within the cracks..

that home is important.. to you if not to others..

that sometimes strangers may be friendly and caring.. while beloved people may break you in pieces..

that time will sooth and enlighten everything .. and that you will be there to catch the glimpse..

that joy is hidden at most unsuspected places.. even at the curlicues of the tail feathers of a goose..

and a friend will point at it.. so you don’t miss this ..

that you may leave behind the agony the brutal feelings..

that warmth and comfort is sometimes at the scene..

sometimes at the inside meaning..

sometimes at the hidden small beauties.. of nature.. coming back forever.. just like your hapiness will..

that history has seen worst and will again.. and every day will be the past..

that pleasures of life are as simple as colours to notice..

oddities to catch..

decisions that you take.. and you believe in..

gifts from the hands of a friend that cares what you like..

taking the road makes you say.. we are here at this exact moment.. and we do love it..

we feel comfortable with life.. where ever we are.. when we are with friends..

together but different..

it’s taking the road that proves you that light always come at most unsuspected times.. sometimes just before dawns..

than you feel tired but happy.. and as volatie as the evening lights.. and hungry.. for life again..

for simple tastes of simplest foods .. against all the complicated life time you endure..

darkness will not harm nor fear you when you know what is.. in it..

it’s the road that you need..

my city...

2009-11-12T12:15:00.002+02:00

I have come to delete a comment ..
=P

some are thinking that this is left-alone website..
well it is not so..

the owner of this site will delete all ridiculous .. noxious links.. performance improving drugs.. toys and so.. corporations advertorials.. etc..
at once..

do ya hear me..
at once.. because.. any comment is reported to my e-mail adress..=D..
so you better..leave crafters alone..=D.

but as I came here..
I will share.. a good intension of mine..

as I have started to write a short story ..
and making some regular city photographying tours..
I thought that maybe I shoul add some over here too..

soon to come..
Istanbul.. from my point of view..

crafts??
just small things.. faux bijous and lace and crystal and so..
=)

everything baroque and glittery and shiny ..
I am living my magpie days..

neck warmer

2009-02-11T12:24:00.001+02:00

this is a recycle-reuse-reinvent project..I had many wooden curtain rings..more than needed knitting material…and pearls and beads..

and inspiration from the web =)

they helped me to make a neck warmer more than a pendant as a gift.. for a much loved lady..

some more to come…gifts of course..

and a black more lacy .. more shiny one for myself..=P .. I never deny that I am an addicted lace-girl..=P

bar cabinet..finished..

2009-02-09T10:05:00.003+02:00

remember the very messy cabinet I had started painting..
it was an old music chest.. with a pull-out drawer..
I loved the curves.. it was dirty.. dusty.. cracked all over..
and the varnish was gone..

first I had painted the inside.. flashing pink/fuscia..

the outside.. after much hesitations..
has become grey .. I don't have no other grey colour in the living room..
mostly taupe.. beige and plum..
therefore it doesn't fit..

but we will see..
we will find a way to blend it in..
any ideas..??

an it absolutely needs some embellishing
but haven't been inspired yet..

the inside hides the colour surprise..

my new bar-cabinet..

..

2009-02-06T11:33:00.009+02:00

I have done finally..
three things.. I wanted to do.. for a long time..

First..
I have re-arranged my books in a colour scheme.. I have seen so many on the netI thought they looked awsome.. saved many photos to my "inspiration file" but.. just didn..'t do it.. you could call me.. lazy and I would answer.. no.. just busy =)..

yesterday all of a sudden I have started to take books off from the shelves.. it was nearly midnight..
I didn't plan to do it.. I was looking trying to figure how I would.. and when that I have found myself .. into the job..

I succeeded.. It was as three am when it was done.. the rest of the living room was a mess.. butwho cares..=).. not me.. when I have checked this item from my never ending "to do" list..
I had some decorative objects.. on the shelves.. but they had become such a mess.. it allover looked a clutter display..

Before .. the books were arranged in "writers name order".. and in categories.. turkish novels.. foreign writers' novels.. woman .. poems.. history.. hobby..
But whenever I tried to find one .. I still couldn't ..
I think I have a "booksearcher's temporary blindness".. an unknown medical condition..=D..
so.. now at least.. my "bibliotheque" looks pretty..

some dusting and arranging.. does good to everything.. everyone...

I have put all the decorations on the dining table and re-arrenged them..
ethnic accessories for the white shelf..

and purple for the the other white shelf... .

both these antique looking faux paintings are made by me..
no I didn't paint them .. I can't.. not even to save my life.. but I can fake it.. a blank canvas.. some glue.. a picture photocopy.. cracking varnish and shoe polish.. =)
the orange-y one is the photocopy of a painting one of my patients have painted ..this is a the view of a byzantine building in the middle of the marmara sea.. the "maiden tower" and has a sad story.. The lavender one is just a page of a decoration magazine ..

white and green accessories for the green shelf..

a buddha for the orange and red shelf..

a shell for the blue shelf..this shell took me to years ago.. I bought it for my mother when I was 19.. and went on a trip by myself first time in my life.. It still has the sound of the sea.. but now.. has also the sound of memories..

I like the overall look.. now.. it is not crowded any more.. not a sore for the eye..

The second thing is something I wanted to do for a long time..
I joined a reading group.. founded by my turkish blogger friend..
we have chosen the "the museum of innocence" of orhan pamuk.. the nobel winning turkish writer..
no other writer has been discussed more than he was..

there are fans..
and there are people who have not succeded to finish his books..
I never met anyone who said I don't like his books..there are only readers who succeded to finish and those who could not..

he has an interesting writing style.. I always liked it.. from the first book I have read .. I have been a fan.. when I first read him.. I had the feeling of reading a very well translated book.. long sentences.. detailed description lists in one sentence which could go for 10 .. twelwe lines.. turkish is not this style of language.. I am not an expert of literature.. just a book worm.. so this as my personal idea..
but I was like an enthousiastic little child.. counting the lines while reading and keep saying..
"omg.. 5 lines and still continuing and no misplacement of word.. no wrong turning of the meaning.. omg. 10 lines..."=P
it was a "love at the first read".. for me.. and I still do like reading his novels..
and I even can discuss the evolution of his style over the years..
but I don't want to start my book review now and here..
I have to keep it for the reading group.. later maybe I might do it here too..
so.. when my friend has decided to make a special blog for this group..
I have prepared a simple banner .. a shoot of my collection of bookmarks.. and old french books.. and noticed that I have quite a collection.. which I will add in here too..
it's in turkish..
but a girl must show what she has..=)

for the bookmarks.. which are all gifts.. but one.. which is a silver badge of my high school..

now I have to find a way to display them on the bookcase.. any interesting ideas?

hard decision..what are you lookin'at

2009-02-01T14:40:00.002+02:00

too many things..

2008-12-19T20:21:00.001+02:00

are going on in here..

we had the celebration..

and we have been out of town with the family..

for a few days..

and the new year is approaching..

here are the backstage hints..

it will be a short post.. too many things to do..

can’t even visit the blogs..

all these and more.. are processed..

gifts.. knits.. painting.. sewing .. travelling..

I’ll write about the most important part …

I was planning a small surprise.. see the

for a blogger friend..

and while I was making the package..

the postman brought me her Xmas card..

we call it..

kalp kalbe karşı.. “ heart towards heart”..

we have had the same idea.. at the same time..

thank you Britt.. =)

did I tell you that I love you..

Istanbul

2008-11-26T07:20:00.002+02:00

I am in love..
deep true love..
with the city I live in..

have a look at he video..
it is not a movie shot directly by a camera..
but is made up using ten thousand photograph..
the music is great too..

clik on the link.. I am serious .. when I say I am in love..
I love cities transpassed by rivers.. but one transpassed by th sea..
is unique..
enjoy..

http://www.ersineser.us/

a period..

2008-11-22T13:22:00.000+02:00

before the nineteen century the ships were not accosting .. the passengers and the shipment were taken from the coast to the ships by the "sandalci" rowing boats..

too many accidents happened these times..

at the begining of the nineteen century seaports were constructed..

some were constructed over barrels.. floating ports.. that's what they were.. and ships could accost..

but..

the passengers had to wait until 1914 for the waiting halls to be constructed..

the karaköy port.. was the one we used to visit my aunts every weekend..

we were walking to the station.. took the train and than we were walking again to the port.. If we had missed the posr which was near the station.. my parents decided to walk over the galata bridge.. to the other port where there were more frequent departure schedule..

I was so small that my daddy had to pick me up.. to see the man behind the ticket window..

being authorised to place the token .. later.. running into the hall while my parents were strolling and buying the tokens in advance.. were signs of my "growing up"..

green leather covered benches.. ascending- descending windows.. always someone objecting to the open window.. brass inset ashtrays in the armrests of the benches..

when my father felt "dandy-ish" sitting at the "de-luxe" hall adorned with mirrors.. crystal door glasses.. waiters.. small individual artdeco armchairs and coffe tables placed in groups.. the waiter .. the turkish coffee smell in the air..

when the weather was nice.. sitting outside at the benches with their back to the passenger halls and facing the sea.. trying to reach the banisters with your feet.. then as one day you are proudly "big" enough to do it.. being warned.. to take them off.. being frustrated..because you waited so long for this day to come..

an the way back.. being tired and sleepy..

my father's takingme upon his shoulders and carrying me to the station.. joking .. "you can ride the "babaway" / tramcars were called tramway in turkish.. and babaway is fatherway or fathercar /..

growing up.. and being able to jump from the port to the ship in one step.. without waiting for the passage to be placed..

huge black tires tied at the port.. the water raising in green blue and white whirls between the port and the ship.. an mum's voice reminding me to be careful ..the mist of salty water all ove your face.. the smell of the sea.. of the iodine in the air.. and the cries of the seagulls..

are in my brain and at the tip of my nose..in my ears..in all my senses...

I don't have a romantic story.. much as many of Istanbul citizens.. but I remember a few.. eyeing.. shying.. then being followed upto the busstop or railway station .. when I was a teenager..

but I have too many lively memories..

being from istanbul means being in relation with the sea.. the ships..

last night there was a very strong southwest wind storm raising to 42 km/h speed.. and this historical port has sunken..

it was last restorated in 1966.. there were no life losses.. and it will be restored again.. but.. I am sure they will not pass by the opportunity of modernizing it..

I felt.. like I had lost a part of my childhood..

sofa cover and soup to blog..

2008-11-16T22:13:00.001+02:00

I love being at home..

"totally home".. cosying myself..

I have been home today.. reading.. writing.. having coffee.. chatting with the kids..

my dh was on duty and when he came back in the late afternoon.. all he wanted was some soup..

he didn't have to tell me.. I always have some soup ready for him when he comes in..

this is an easy and warming winter soup.. yoghurt.. corn.. green peas.. chick peas ..homemade macaroni and dry mint.. is all you need.. you then add some butter and red pepper sauce over.. for more colour and warmth..

while he rested I have uploaded these photos of the things I have re-styled lately..

I have recovered this sofa in my daughter's room..

don't criticise me.. It had a nice throw over for the last months ..

my kids love to eat .. while they are reading.. watching tv.. and you know kids.. they drop things.. and mothers try to wipe..

with the throw on.. the stains were not visible but I knew they were there..and even knowing that this dirty look is due more to wiping and cleaning trials than stains themselves.. it disturbed me.. a lot..

but I had to wait until it diturbs my daughter as well..

otherwise this is a very comfortable and double duty sofa.. it becomes the guest bed in her room.. when she has friend.. apart from the really yucky cover it is in a very good condition..this fabric with which it was covered was not stain resistant as the saleperson affirmed .. but stain appealing.. and the result is this..awful..

so today is the day.. she finally asked me to make something to embellish her sofa..

I needed a quick homemade result.. and here comes.. some black fabric.. /as every teen ager around she is at her " black period" so this will be a temporary solution until her tastes calm down..=P /..my stapler..and scissors..

here is the result..

a very tailored look.. quite masculine..

we left the armrests as they were.. because she liked the style.. and I accepted as.. there was no stain..

I try to leave them the decisions about their room decor..to both of my child.. they have to experiment and live with their decision some time.. to be able to make better decisions in the future..

and we also decided to change the covers of some pillows..

the others were already fine.. a knitted cream coloured.. and ..

a huge one from ikea..

now she is happy with her sofa.. her room.. she is enthousiastic about inviting her friends.. for a night stand..=)..

a happy dh and a happy daughter means a girl can blog..=) without being disturbed..

ready steady.. purple..

2008-11-12T15:45:00.001+02:00

I live in a small town house.. and when we come home.. we put everything down right into the living room.. when we go upstairs we remember to have forgotten this or that..

when I do some crafts in the living room.. or take photos.. all the materials.. magazins everything stays there to..

I am tired of going up and down again..

what is worst is that sometimes we leave them until the weekend..and it is very time consuming to range a whole week's clutter..

so I have decided we really need a stair basket.. something chic and stylish..

something like this one..

the holding company

or even this one..

ballarddesign

but I couldn't find something suitable at the stores..

so.. I transformed.. an old jute beach bag some feathers..a clay duckling.. a garden decoration .. some cardboard.. actually a box lid.. paper.. glue paints..

here is my first tassel project.. and the stair bag..

a closeup of the tassel..

notice.. the upward arrow..

it reminds us what to do.. =)

I made it buy cutting an arrow shape from the boxlid.. then covering it with some layers of paper.. I left the paper crinkled and when it dried it had a nice texture.. then I painted it in light grey.. as well as the duckling garden decoration.. I was looking around the house for an object with a hole under.. and this picked up this one.. I didn't want to postpone this once again .. to choose the perrrfect object for my living room..

after all I can change it later.. and carry this one somewhere else.. =)..

now I grip it and take it upstairs every evening.. when I go to bed.. and range them.. at least put them in adequate rooms..

then.. in the morning I take it downstairs again.. stair patrol.. that's what it is..

although I may look funny in my nightgown and slippers.. in the very early morning.. carrying a beach bag..

and what does it hide inside.. today..??

a crafter's clutter...

can you imagine all those piled on the coffee table .. now at least they are out of sight..

*************

style is nothing.. function and crafting is everything =P..

perfect office part three.. lace and sequins..

2008-11-09T13:34:00.001+02:00

I have processed further with my lace projects..

here is a photo of

where we were.. and what we were talking about..my lacey mat board and mail organizer;

I have a long list of thigs I love..

it is no secret any more that I love purple.. a deep plum colour.. they say it is a depressive colour.. they say it is the adolescent's favorite colour.. but my mum used to say.. it is the the colour of adventure.. I prefer this version.. I have also learned it is the colour of aristocracy.. and prosperity.. for me.. it is just purple..

I love.. office stores and all the staff about writing and doing office work..

so when I find knick knacks in this marvellous bright colour..purple.. I have to get them.. my stapler.. staple remover and even staple box are new finds..

but you cannot find everything you dream about.. sometimes.. you have to work to reach your dreams..

so did I ..inspired from jane's apron post about office chic..I.. redesigned an old and boring punch to match my new stappler ..

a punch.. some lace..some glue and some sequins.. can make wonders.. in a short time..

to reach..a perfect punch..

to go with the purple office necessities..

now I don't have any more excuses I have to file all those cut outs and bills and reports etc...

enjoy your sunday..

******************

other office embellishment projects..

perfect desk part two

perfect office

more threads forgotten crafts and a memorial box...

2008-11-04T11:26:00.001+02:00

let's have a look in the second box.. I had in the craft room.. untouched..

it looks messy..

there are sone cross stiches unfinished or unused..this one I have started to make 16 yrs ago.. ohho..

I couldn't find the matching threads and ranged it until I find these...

than .. forgotten..

a small detail of the house..

it looks x-masy.. does anybody has any idea of how to use it .. when finished.. if finished.. an idea which will push me to finish it..

I don't want to hang it or make a piilow.. I have too many.. not in the style of my house any more.. all ranged in the closet.. waiting for their days to come back..

this one was ment to be framed and hung in my mother's summer house..

coupled with a larger one.. and to be used as a kitchen divider.. but never finished..

another one..

not finished but.. newer.. compared to the others..

now I dn't want to blame myself.. I have many finished ones..

finished and used.. and now stored..

how many unfinished projects can a girl have.. and for how many years..

I still have boxes to open.. for example this one..

very precious to me..

can you see.. the hand written swap notice on it..to a friend of her..

here a closeup..

this is the signature of my mother..

on some days and for some special occasions she added a beak at the point pf the S scribbled two small claws .. and it became a bird..=P

she wrote.. take any colour you want.. and give me cyclamen coloured ones..

this is a very precious box..

because this is the only memorial of her handwriting..

and keeps.. within..

her favorite colours..

now that all is remembered and ranged .. I can go on with the lace crafts I have finished..

vintage silk thread.. gold.. nylon ..

2008-10-20T09:15:00.001+03:00

when I was at school.. the english textbooks started with some sample dialogs..

-what is this?

-this is a book .

this dialog is still used as a joke among our generation.. on questionable occasions..

so I am asking now.. "what is this?"

of course you can see this is a shoebox...

but.. what is inside..??

my mother's silk embroidery threads as they were kept .. for the last 10 yrs something in a closet in my house.. while doing some upside downside tidying between the store-room and craft cum dressing room this weekend I have opened it..

I emptied all on the table.. what a mess..

I decided to range them by colour..

silk is a perfect material.. easy to disentangle but when in such a condition of course that it took some time.. there were some surprises though.. hidden in the box..

my mum used to wrap the threads she was using on a special project in small parchment papers or small fabric parcels..

when I smoothed one these small packages.. I have found some embroidery patterns..one mounted on the worn pattern for a blouse..

the patterns and the threads all together .. nice organization..

another one..

and a third one..

these are turkish embroidery patterns .. she used to teach this art.. and always said "I have the happiest profession..I am among beautiful young students.. beautiful colours.. and beautiful materials.. what can a woman ask for else.."

while I was separating the different colours I have noticed something on a silk fabric she used as a wrap..

it came out as a small cut-out embroidery.. maybe a hankerchief with unfinished borders..

there were all sort of threads.. in all kind of colours and forms.. some came in skeins she used to braid for easy use.. some as balls..

I even found a finished lace in between.. later I have found the thread she used to do it...

and also a crocheted green flower .. isn't it as if it smiles to you.. between the dishevelled threads..=)

finally I have sorted all..

and noticed some even had their original tags.. turkish and european trademarks..

I remembered her spelling dmc in french .. I believe they were high quality and pretty expensive .. because she kept them apart and this was the only mark I have ever heard from her..

there were some colour combinations braided together .. I remembered her..sitting straight at the table.. with her white cotton batiste cloth opened in front of her and choosing the colour she wanted and separating it with her needle from the braid and pulling it apart .. then starting to make her art.. her skills talk for her..she choosed colours as a painter..she loved strong colours violets fuscias bright greens .. I can't say that she teached me how to do anything.. but I have watched her so many long hours.. sitting in front of her.. with my books to study.. that I have an engraved vision of her "embroidering"..

when I close my eyes.. I can "watch" her as a movie in my mind.. every single movement she made .. as if she was sitting in front of me again..

now they are all sorted..

the balls in their box..

and the skeins and tresses ..separated according to thread type and colour and re-wrapped in the same papers and fabrics they used to..but in an order now.. I have a new black box.. bigger than the shoebox..

I have taken out some things out of course.. the green flower. the needle lace and some nylon bags..

the gold threads and the balls went to their own box.. they too are wrapped in their original papers to prevent them from "blackening" can you believe these are at least 20 yrs old..

and I also kept this one out...=)

do you think nylon bags can be vintage.. =D.. this must be from the 60's a mousse stockinette bag..

**************

ps1 there are more to come.. this was a treasure box =)..

ps2 ... these motifs can be used if you like and wish to.. they are my mum's gift to all the beautiful women.. who love beautiful colours and materials..

morning beauties..

2008-10-14T15:43:00.001+03:00

kids never grow..

he may be 18 now .. but he was just the same as he was three when he ran to the door yesterday evening and said.. you have a mail from abroad .. can I open it pleaaaaaaase.. he made me giggle..

he is chatting online with people from the other end of the world as his daily routine .. but he is excited when the postman brings in an envelop.. I mean a "decent envelop" with a hand written adress and real stamp and all ..not the printed labeled and printed postal sign kind of thing.. not an advertisment or.. a facture..

maybe the postman was excited too.. nowadays they do not delivers many of such envelops.. you know the "personal" kind .. =)

so we went..the mother still in her shoes and trenchcoat.. and the two curious kids..to the lacey desk ..

I have decorated my desk for such occasions .. didn't I..

this exciting card was sent by my friend Britt, to celebrate my lacey desk.. and our frienship..

no there are no close-up photos .. I told you.. this is personal =P..but there are some other close-ups from the desk..

I have made a small display of objects which make me smile on the desk..

my purple bowl and liliputian cloche.. reminding me of"being content with what one has" ..

the mask magnet.. reminding me.. that smiles and tears are close to each other.. as close as good friends..

and the magnifier.. reminds me.. we can see everything as big or as small as we desire..

the cover of the notebook..which is an ancient world map.. reminding me.. the infinity of world and time..

the small "nessie" snow ball.. reminds me of my childhood dreams..

and the little book of mum.. oh this hasn't to remind anything.. you never forget you are a mum..

and the small empty vase ..shows me that it is the vase which is important.. not it's being empty .. or full ..

and Britt.. your card has joined them ..Thank You.. =)..reminding me.. that real frienship has nothing to do with being far away or many more differences.. it is an absolute notion.. in itself..

****************

why is this post's title is "morning" beaties.. it is because.. I confess.. I have opened the card at the evening.. but have taken the photos in the morning.. re-reading my card.. and having morning cofee and some cinnamon apple cake..

small things that make....

2008-10-10T08:58:00.001+03:00

my dear friend Britt-Arnhild's comment made me smile..

I wrote yesterday that I had some cut outs hidden in my organizer..

one of them is.. the following..

"those who travel a lot.. may not be aware that they develop an estrangement..

this means being surrounded by a standart hotel room environment which shows little differences from place to place, as an ongoing lifestyle, drives the person in an unhappy and uncomfortable mood..

the interaction between a person and the environment is very important for daily life performances..

working and resting and all the similar activities are related to the atmosphere of the place where the person is .

at the place where we live permanently, there are many details that make us comfortable and reminds us where we belong .. these make this place special for us..
that is why , as a frequently travelling person, I put some very personal objects in my luggages first of all..

and in the hotel room I display them on the table .. as soon as I come in..

this corner of the table becomes me.. and the objects sustain my relation with Myself..

it's the objects that do not let us.. forget about.. moments.. affections .. memories.. the past in all its authenticity and undeniable purity..
fahrettin aykut.. architect.."

I had this cut out for years.. that is why I smiled.. I do this when I travel.. Britt says she does it too..

have a wonderful trip to india Britt.. and don't forget take a small part of home.. with you..

wednesday dissertation : private heaven on earth.....

2008-10-08T16:13:00.002+03:00

I have a blog in turkish.. the link is on the right.. for whoever would like to have a look.. I talk about this and that and all.. and a group wonderful readers.. friends.. do come to visit me..leaving profound comments and sometimes pushing me to think from another point of view..

yesterday I was not in the mood to add a post.. but knowing they are waiting for one.. /yes I am proud to say this.. if I don't post everyone..is alarmed.. I am such an organized blogger over there.. hope I will be in this blog as well/ I added a paragraph I have read a long time ago.. from an interview with a turkish writer.. buket uzuner..

she was describing her small office.. lots of books on the bookshelves.. tables on which to read and write.. armchairs for nesting..lots of photos of istanbul and NY.. a pc.. coffee machine.. mugs.. and she notes..

"this is private heaven on earth for me.. because there I have only Myself as company ..

it is a great liberty for a human being .. to own four walls.. to sit and look at.. the photos.. or nothing.. as long as he/she wants .. without having to do nothing for nobody..

being alone with her/himself is important for everyone.. but for me.. this is a Must..

coffee odour in the room.. chopin or bülent ortaçgil playing ..I can hear the voices of the flower and pastry street sellers..but they are all outside.. and I spend time in my writing place.. reading .. writing.. thinking .. by Myself..

if I could't do this.. I wouldn't be Me"... she said..

I had cut the magazine and hidden it inside my organizer.. and have read it from time to time.. yesterday I added this to my blog and asked to my blogger friends.. where is Your Private Heaven on Earth..

all woman bloggers described very detailed places.. some a kind of a cosy livingroom cum library.. some a craft room.. some even a place where they have been before and loved very much.. some the countryside..

a male friend.. answered.. " my secret garden is my own brain.. this is the only place which I own totally "..

my first reaction was feeling sorry for him..it seems as though he feels uncomfortable in real life.. but then I thought..

lots of things.. and wrote today's post..in atalet blog..

and I wanted to share in here too.. trying to summarize.. as it has become two posts on one day..

why do women first describe a perfect place for themselves.. and why man can simply retract into their brain .. is it because we woman don't slet them have or design any place at home .. or is it because they don't take care of the decoration for dreaming.. or what?? what was the reason.. for woman to describe a place reflecting themselves..in order to be able to go to the same place as man =P .. into their own brain..

was it harder for women to concentrate or.. to dream.. are we all procrastinators??..

I am an avid reader of some newspaper column writers.. some are woman.. and some are working from home..I have read most of these ladies complaining about daily life problems intervening into their work.. such as their housemaids asking "what shall I cook for dinner.. I have to go to the super market.. or the washing machine is broken again .. shall I call the service" while they are in the middle of a very serious article..and they said.. I suspect male column writers having a similar problem..

at the hospital.. sometimes my kids call me while I am examining a patient to talk about something really simple.. and don't want to call later.. want to talk right away.. they have never done this to my husband..they have tried once.. but he resisted .. saying I don't want to be called for this kind of things.. I am a doctor.. I work.. and they obeyed.. not me.. I am doctor.. and I work..=P..

another woman feminist writer zeynep oral told once.. "even in the most democratic countries.. or places.. or couples.. life isn't "sharing equally" it is "dividing"..the responsabilities.. between the couples.."

and I agree.. I don't want to blame men for this..

the perfectionist and detailed way of thinking of women has its contribution in it .. can you expect from a man to understand why you are tidying up your bedroom too while you have only invited people over dinner.. =P..a man does this and changes the sheets under very different conditions than family receptions..=D a woman does it..often.. because she thinks.. if .. in case.. anyone suddenly faints or has to make an intimate phone call and needs to go in the bedroom..=P

and also our kids have a contribution in it .. I always used to send over my DH when our son was a baby and wept during the night.. he was a quiet little boy and just needed a gentle tapping to go back to sleep..and DH could do this.. It went on until the day.. my son rose up in the bed and asked for "mommyyyyy... not dadyyyyy"..

yes..of course kids have their rights and choices.. as well as DH's.. and family.. and close friends .. they have their rights .. and choices..

and we woman.. starting from the moment we wake up..we have to think about.. take care.. prepare.. organise.. things.. for our family life.. which I adore.. do not misunderstand my thoughts as complainings.. these are just observations.. dissertations..

and when someone asks women suddenly.. what could be heaven on earth for "yourself".. they are describing a tidy.. comfy.. beautiful.. feminine place.. with music they prefer.. and normally this is a place to "be alone".. and "do what You want" place.. they design a place .. in order to go to the same place as men.. into their own brains..

this male blogger friend of mine.. he said there are flying elephants over a muticloured sky and other extraordinary things in there.. in his brain..

when .. women go into our brains.. to find lists... things to do lists .. things that haven't been done lists .. things not done and therefore disturbing our conscience lists.. and these push us out..into real world again..

I told to my friend.. "don't be plaintive.. this is luxury.. heaven on earth being your own brain.. and this.. being the only place that you really own..

because we don't own it either..

***************

I have added the cover photo of "country homes &interiors" october issue.. I loved this corner.. couldn't find it on their website.. so I took a photo of the photo =D.. adding my reading glasses.. to go and visit this photographer's site..click HERE she has taken lots of "heaven on earth" photos..=)

***************

I have decided to start .. wendesdaydissertations .. and friday writers ..categories.. I hope I can .. and promess they will not all be so long..=P

***************

buket uzuner is a turkish woman writer.. she has novels and travel notes published in english as well.. I loved" the long white cloud gallipoli".. a fancy novel about the love and marriage of an ANZAK .. soldier and a turkish country girl during the WW I..

you can of course tell me before you leave .. what would be your private "heaven on earth".. and comment about differences of life between "men and women".. as much as you wish..

grey tray =P..

2008-10-07T16:08:00.001+03:00

I recently changed my attitude.. towards colour..

I want all in cream.. pearl .. grey.. anthracite..

no I don't have plenty of paint .. in these colours.. I mix them up myself.. always the same shades.. =P..

don't ask me why... is it the inflence of all these photos I see at the blogs and/or decorating magazines.. after all these are not my favorite colours.. I like autumnal bright colours.. browns greens.. auburns..

I am sure this is a reversible mood..

and I try to limit myself though..to small objects..

so the latest cream grey collection I have created..

an old and worn tray set..

painted..

there was a herringbone design inside..

I think it looks quite stylish.. and shows off my new cookie jars..

and.. every object must hide something.. a small surprise..

so I decoupaged a toile de jouy print.. underneath ..

I had some toile fabric.. I photocopied the fabric.. and coffee tinted the paper to make it look "old" then pasted with my magic wallpaper paste/white glue homemade paste.. some matte acrilic varnish..

ready for service.. now..

would you like to join me..??

a weekend with bloggers

2008-10-06T09:35:00.003+03:00

I have had a wonderful weekend..

each day shared with friends..

friday a blog friend visited me..ecem..

we knew each other from the posts.. but had never met before..

she came with gifts to me.. as though she wasn't a gift herself..

these are crocheted napkin rings.. each topped with a needle lace violets.. called "oya"

violet.. purple.. plum these are my colors..

a close-up to the violets..

and then there was tis mexican hat..

hiding a thimble in itself.. an exquisite one.. notice the inlaid agate.. and flowers again.. a girl must be chic.. even when she sews..=)

her mother made these for her.. when she got married.. and she gave it to me..what can it be called if not..a gift from the heart..

a crocheted book mark.. with three small "oya" flowers..

and two magnets.. one of them has a scarf around her head.. notice the "oya" around it.. this is a typical turkish contry woman .. and these "oya"s tell all a story..

each motif has a meaning.. I am in love say some.. I am married and happy say another.. a new mom's oya is different than the one of the woman who is waiting her sweetheart .. coming back from the military service..if you have a problem with your m-i-l .. there is a different motif..

the silent messaging system of the eastern people..

the other magnet.. went directly to my lacey desk..

saturday I met two most beautiful young lady bloggers..

this time my turn..

they are collecting magnets.. and .. I have surprises for them from.. alaçatı.. the shape of the original typical doors of alaçatı village..

the packages .. were the free share of another blogger Lori Gardner.. just in time to do sweet gift packages.. thank you lori..

and came sunday.

a breakfast by the seaside..

with another blogger friend of mine.. simurg..

teaching me the details of taking nice photos.. I don't know if I will be as talented as her.. anytime.. but this has so nice to chat about everything.. and nothing.. over our coffees by the sea..

coming back home.. Britt Arnhild has chosen me as the blog of the week..

big hugs and love from me .. from istanbul.. Britt.. I will do my best this week..=)...

*****************

the book in the first picture.. is .. Muthan Mungan's.. one of my favorite writers.. "the cities of woman".. these were stories.. each story was about a woman and one city.. interesting and emotional..

don't you think some male authors do understand deeply the emotional life of woman better than some woman..

conversation topic: decoration

2008-10-03T18:50:00.002+03:00

we have had a conversation about home decoration today.. with my daughter..

she had come to my desk while I was reading my mails.. and she wanted to show me the video of her cat.. leke and herself playing in the morning..

she is a touchy girl..

the fumbled over the desk.. and touching my purple bowl..

why did you put this bowl under the glass she asked..

this is the only thing that fits in it.. it is so small..

mmm.. so you have to put something under it.. you really need to..??..

I have seen people putting bird nests.. eggs under the glass cloches..I loved it.. wanted some display looking like these..than I showed her one of the inspiration photos I had saved on the desktop..

she looked and said..

mmm... this is not suitable for our family.. everyone would touch it..than the egg would broke.. and the nest would be torn apart..can you imagine our uncles visiting.. they would ask you WHY's.. they woulş all talk about it.. and finally you would go crazy ..

I love her summarizing our life.. simply but true..

you are right I said laughing.. no need to invite stress ..=) that is why no eggs for us..

she frowned a minute and asked..

why are you painting everything white or light grey or beige..you should use black.. can you imagine this room all in black.. it would be super..

I closed my eyes.. and imagined.. yes.. it would be.. black matte walls shiny satin and velveteen black chairs.. sofas.. maybe some anthracite and silver..

then I answered..

yes you are right.. it would be fabulous..BUT your father doesn't like it..even more.. he hates this..

white cannot stand us.. she said..we aren't a white family..

yes I know I said..

that is why I only paint small things in white..

this is good she said..

then I went to the bathroom.. and I have seen the big dark stain on the white linen lining of the basket..counted on my fingers.. ten days..I still didn't finish to decorate and they have already started to put it apart..

I think I need a place to decorate.. for myself.. or other people.. "white friendly" people..

perfect desk .. part two..

2008-10-02T13:29:00.002+03:00

I have accumulated lots of things..on my to do list..
and I have decided to go spot by spot..

the upstairs bathroom is finished.. I will add some pictures later..
next will come the powder room..
for the moment I am playing around my desk ..

I have surfed to find some inpirations about how to embellish my mail organizer..

it is dear to my heart..

they threw this beauty out while they were decorating the clinics at the hospital..

and my DH brought it home ..

I painted it in a pale bue and used it for years.. it started to look distressed.. now it is time to change the look ..
first I tried my hand on stamping a classical architectural pattern and a fleur de lys pattern in purple paint..
but I didn't like it..
then I repainted it in grey..

and I added some more lace..
no lace is enough for me..
even at the workspace..=P

this time I used some purple lace ..
I had bought it to trim a blouse I had..
and there was some leftover in my ribbon box.. cut to size..
and pasted to the mail organizer..
it looks great.. isn't it??
we don't have Mod podge in here.. so I use a paste I prepare... I mix wall paper adhesive and some white glue.. which dries clear ..and embeds even heavy papers and fabrics..and surfaces whatever I am pasting..
then I varnish with some water based varnish..

now it looks fine to me..
maybe some purple lines on the edges.. will make it more tailored..
I will also add a tassel or a monogram in the center..
a diamante monogram maybe..

I have lined the inside of the drawer with some old book pages..
a friend of mine.. gave me some old books.. which belonged to her mother..
they are french detective novels and some classics as well..

some were torn and the covers were missing..
I keep the ones which are in good condition.. read them.. use them as display pieces..
but the torn ones..
I have decided to use them for crafting..
I had seen on Martha how to do the scented paper for drawers..
I made my own way..
I have first covered a piece of cardboard with these papers then put it in big nylon bag.. added some lavender oil.. and left it closed for some days..
then I placed it in the drawer..

It smells wonderful when I leave the drawer half open..
isn't life too short not to enjoy..
we shouldn't miss any moment..

I showed the picture of the prosperity bowl..
this is a story I have learned this summer on holiday..
a very beautiful lady sitting at the boot on the open market in alaçatı..
told me.. that purple is a depressive colour..
but it also is the colour of prosperity..
I knew about depression..although this colour inspires me and feels me up with energy..
but prosperity..
no..
she said.. during the ottoman empire..
the banknotes were printed with purple ink..

so colour purple became the symbol of prosperity for anatolian people..
that suits me..
I love when we mix up all things and beliefs..
this is globalization to me..
this lady told me to put some coins some water in it (my own tabletop wishing well)
and to put it to the west side of my house .. which is the prosperity side.. in Feng Shui..
I smiled..
and did it..
why not..

I have bought three of these bowls one big and two very tiny ones..
one of them sits on my desk.. =)
to remind me.. to mix and match different energies to embellish my life..

attention to the fine details at the tulip pattern..tulip bulbs originated from turkiye.. and the stylised tulip design is used for embroidery.. ceramic painting.. miniatures.. and all kind of graphic arts..

still to do at the deskplace..

some holders..and a suitable tassel and monogram for the mail organizer..

a perfect office..

2008-09-29T17:47:00.001+03:00

my home office.. is very small..

and this is enough for me..

as I don't work from home..

don't you also think that size doesn't matter.. =)..what is important is ..whether it reflects your spirit ..or not..

every girl needs a place..to write down notes.. whether these are blog posts..thank you notes to sweethearts or..or information notes to teachers ..

my desk is a gift from a friend of my DH..

it is an old drop front small desk..with three hidden drawers..

his father who was a dentist used it at his office..

as we like to collect old furniture.. especially those with memories.. he gave it to us..

it is a male desk.. straight.. simple.. but paired with the curvy lines of my french chair.. it is more feminine..

I topped it with some accessories..

it became a perfect spot for ME..

a simple purple desktop from ikea

paired with some leftover black lace

becomes a lacey accessory..

it has a clean ribbon finish..

and the closeup shows..

the freshly painted not yet finished mail organizer.. / it has it's own history/

and a small cloche.. hiding a purple prosperity bowl../this has it's own story as well =P..

I must say I was haunted with the idea of having a cloche.. =)

this one is one of my last two acquisitions.. but I still have not found the one in my dreams..

this is from where I write .. I read blogs.. I day dream looking at the garden ..

tomorrow is the ramadan feast.. a holiday in turkiye..

we will be with the family.. for three days..

I love holidays..

who doesn't

yes I have been back...

2008-09-26T12:38:00.004+03:00

I have been back for a time now..
life has taken its own routine..

schools are open ..
my daughter has real "severe" adolescence problems..
"adolescentesque" as her french teacher very accurately .. defines her situation..
lots of tears and melancholy..
lots of obsessions.. an ongoing revolt on every subject..
she needs lots of empathy.. and sympathy..she eats up time.. and patience..

my son .. this year.. he has become a young man..
I can see.. and feel the difference in him..
he wakes up easily.. gets ready in time.. as a grown up..
well he only shaves his face a couple of times in a week but..
he is calmer.. more hygiene-caring.. he goes out with his friends.. sometimes..
and my hearth doesn't bump any more in my chest until he comes back..
he has to enter the university exam next year..
he started already to study for this too.. on his own request and will..
a great change.. =)

on my side..
the holiday was marvellous..
on the way back .. I have driven from my summer home up to Istanbul..
stopping at some places I have always wanted to..
most wonderful places on the eagian side of Turkiye..
then back to work of course..
and to craft..

the big change is that.. we have a cat.. now..
a kitten.. who was trying to survive in the parking lot of the hospital.. where I work..
she had no mother.. no family.. relying on some milk the office person were giving him..
such a playfull and sweet little girl..
I invited insisted to take her home..
she frowned a bit.. but accepted in the end..
/this means I have spend a couple of hours trying to catch her..
and finally she colun't resist the movements of my index finger.. from the buttonhole of my doctor coat =D../
curiosity kills the cat they.. in this particular moment..
information satisfies.. the cat..
she is happily settled down..

she gave a serenity to my daughter..
I knew it.. I told my DH already..
this will be great for us..
someone to take care.. and love..
I loved to read with a cat on my lap.. when I was a younster..=)

I must tell that I own her my craftiness ..
I tried to make her a cosy bed ..
the first one I tried to do was a very un-successfull shoe box crafting..
I padded and covered .. it was awfull and nor soft enough to cuddle..
the beds sold at the pet shops were so childish and unpractical..
that I googled and miss google offered so many catbeds and toys.. endless diy possibities..
/by the way..a turkish blogger friend of mine said that she believes "google" is a SHE.. because She knows so much .. and I completely agree/
yes miss google finally schocked me..
with a great idea of hiding the cat litter tray inside a bathroom cabinet..
with a port hole for the cat ..
I jumped in the air..and..
having a very similar one in he attic I decided it is time for me to create..
a similar litter box .. and why not..and other things too..
why not do some embellishment for autumn.. for the house..
starting with the bathroom..
and this is my story.. of exaggerating.. it always happens.. =D..

I first made the cat bed ..
as she is very small I made a small one .. so that she fits in perfectly and feels as if she was with her sisters and mother..
it is zipped on the back.. my daughter is putting a microwavable hotpack at the base every evening before they both go to sleep..
a warm kitten is a happy kitty..
ooh did I tell you we named her LEKE.. it means SPOT in my language..
I first thought about calling her "patchwork" ..
but it was a big name for a small kitten..

if I make a list of what is happening in the crafting studio..
I can make a long list..
I finished..
* making the kitten's bed.. in dark plum and some checkered wool leftover fabrics..
* making a laundry bag.. armoire " curtains .. and basket cases.. with a blue&white;cream flower patterned fabric I had..
* painting in cream..the baskets.. the armoire ..
* rearrenged some accessories.. from other places of the home..
* reorganizing the armoire.. the towels and othe tids and bits..
* reorganizing my sewing and crafting corner ..
* tidying all the torn mag pages.. updating my "inspiration&project for the home" file..

I had bought new towels from datça.. here my summer house is..
I always buy sand coloured and white towels they look so fresh and french ..=)
they now look great in the rejuvenated cabinet..

still to do's..
I will..
*insert a small display table..in the main bathroom.. and some accessories to create a period spa athmosphere..
*make some fabric or crocheted holders for the inside of the cabinets..

half did.. not really finished..
*painting in cream.. grey and dark grey..
a set of old and not good looking papier-maché trays..
in a very dark brown colour...

I have found in my stock of fabric.. a "toile de jouy"
just the right red colour ..
I have made some photocopies of the toile..
I will use them at the back of the trays..
on some boxes..
and under some pictures as a photomat..
this will go for the " pampering room"..
*painting in cream white and pink a shell shaped plaster plate..
it will be pearlised and varnished to hol soaps and other accessories..

yes I have another project ..
and another.. and another..

and a shopping list..
for the craft store..

a happy blogger is a crafty blogger..

the pictures are from leke..
and her bed..
some more arty photos will right be there..
thanks to leke..
she made the impossible mission of resetting my crafty mood =D..

on holiday..

2008-08-09T14:19:00.002+03:00

much deserved...
sun sail sea..
seafood ..
wine..
breeze..
wave sound..
=)..
billions of stars..

dans mon hamac..... =P

mass-crafting .. is it possible??

2008-07-23T16:05:00.005+03:00

I have noticed ..I am crafting in mass..
lately..
this is principally contraversial to the idea of hand crafting..
each piece has to be unique isn't it.. this is the magic of being crafted..
but it feels as if I am participating to "changing rooms" program of BBC =P..
myself alone.. as the whole team..

last sunday DH was on duty so..
I have..found time for re-decorating the back garden ..

some parts of the banc were broken and changed ..
so I had to paint it..
but on the way home I have bought the summer copy of Marie Claire Idées..
I love this mag..
it is full of stylish ideas to make yourself a beautiful and sereine niche..
what creates a problem for me.. is that I don't have so many places to decorate as the mag inspires..
so I change constantly..=P..

this time on the last page..
there was an "ardoise effect painting" technique which I loved..

back home.. I have found out that I have all that I need.. black paint.. white paint .. mother of pearl looking effect paint.. so.. I have first started with the seat..
while waiting between coats.. I have repainted the sewing machine's metal base, the tray, some pots.. all ardoise looking now.. and some garden accessories all in different shades of grey..
it was another "different materials.. same paint" weekend..
just to keep a note of it..
wood, MDF, metal, wicker, plastic and clay..

the mother of pearl colour effect is just perfect.. dries quickly and shines under the sun..=)
and you can see some inspirating images and ideas from the online mag by clicking on the front pages..

here are the results..
=)

I had seen a picture of a real ardoise sitting on a sewing machine and topped with geraniums in pots.. I think in BHG ..
I loved the look..
but couldn't find anything like this..
now the old butler's tray is fake-ardoise..
as the pots of flower stay humid on the underside.. the tray was getting mouldy very soon..
and in the search of finding something suitable ..
I have placed the metal rack - shaped trivet from IKEA.. which was just the size of the tray..
the two broken purple glass wineglasses fit in the metal lantern holders =P.. who's lanterns were broken..
I've also fixed the windchime's missing crystal.. which now shines between the greenery..

I loved the overall look.. and..
poured some white wine,
have lit some candles..
and sat listening to my little fountain.. until very late...

I am working a lot these days..
plus I am writing memories of my mother..
in my turkish blog..
and..

the broken lamp is still hanging in the room..
and..
I am now starting to think.. maybe I will re-look it too..
any ideas.. ???

2008-07-18T15:02:00.000+03:00

when we get married..
we had to buy .. all that a house can need..
in two months..

we were both living with our parents..
and didn't have any furniture..
some bits and bobs..
but nothing enough for a house..

we didn't have much money nor time
..
we were working hard.. trying to get our specialisations..
and my DH.. he.. poor soul
was staying on duty at the hospital..
every other day.. and every other weekend..
from friday to monday..

so it was in a hurry that we furnished the flat that we had rented..
what was good for us.. it didn't need redecoration..
but choosing.. and buying furniture and placing them in the house was really a race against time..

when we thought that it was finished..
we have remarked we didn't choose any light fixture =P.. none at all..
bare bulbs hanging in some rooms =D.. none in the bedroom =P

I have learned then.. that..
I have a difficulty at
deciding about fixtures..

I had of course something on my mind.. but this was not in the shops..
=)
it was quite similar to this one..

one day on the way to my maother-in-law's house for a dinner party..
I exclaimed .. I like this..
poor husband-to-be.. braked.. parked..
and ran to the shop..

he came back empty handed..
it was a family heirloom of the shop owner.. and was not for sale =(..
he told everyone.. saying SHE liked one lamp.. but it wasn't for sale.. =P..

years went by.. the house was complete..
we even changed some of the furniture but still didn't have any decent lamp..
we only had spotlights at the ceiling..
then one day my DH came with two sidelamps.. very similar to the one I wanted.. the lamp base was a reproduction..
but the glass was french opaline..
I liked them very much.. and cherished them.. as my first REALlamps..

one day coming back home from work.. to see that..
my son.. who was 10 yrs old at that time..
and many times warned about"not to play football in the living room"..
had broken one of the glass of my lamps..

I told him how they were precious for me..
warned him again about being careful about the rules of the house..
and told him I would try to find a similar glass and if I could..
I would make him pay from his pocket money..
there is a great building in town ..
all the locataires are antique dealers.. the horhor antikacılar çarşısı..
I went there the weekend, and I was lucky to find one very similar..
that fitted in the base..

a few weeks later..
I came home .. to find my boy .. handing me proudly a bunch of money..
"what are these for??" I asked..
"I have broken the other lamp" he answered..

he took his lesson.. as I pay.. so I can break..

well of course we talked over..
found another opaline shade this time having more difficulty in spotting one..
the anticaires told me that a hotel owner came and took all the opaline for the new hotel he was decorating..
I was leaving empty handed.. when a lady shop-owner told me she has only one.. a pinkish opaline..
if I accept.. it fitted the base.. but they were no more a pair..

what reminded me all these this morning..
is that..
I went in my dressing room today morning.. to get prepared to go to work..
and the lamp hanging in thşs room was broken..
this lampshade is special..
because it came from my mother's house..
she liked it so much..
and mee too..

there were no spills on the carpet..
I asked my daughter she didn't do it..
I asked the help.. she said she didn't know..
I even asked my DH..who said he doesn't have any ideas..
the only person I didn't ask is my son..
who now is 18..
I don't know if I should ask ..

what made me very sad is that ..
whoever broke it.. didn't tell me by his own..
did he or she think I don't notice anything..

I have decided to write two separate letters..
to my kids..
telling them why.. objects are precious to us..
and about the soul of the objects..
but I am not sure..

when I had visitied the glass ship wreck exhibition of the museum of bodrum..
I had looked at all these intact glasses..
which lied under deep water.. for thousand year.. and of the craftsman who made them..
and started to think about my mother ..
whom I lost the same year..
I understood that there is an important relation between mankind and glass..
a philosophy I resumed..
what can be the value of the left behind objectss.. when people who made..owned.. and cherished them are already gone..
the answer is ....nothing..

so in order not to break the heart of my kids..
for the lamp of my mum..
I write here.. how I feel..
just to comfort myself..

sorry mom..
we don't have a pink opaline any more..
but even without it.. you are always in my heart..

united by colour =)

2008-07-14T17:43:00.003+03:00

we have a saying in my country.. yuvayı dişi kuş yapar..
which means .. the its the female bird who builds the nest..
I am a vigorous woman's rights defendant..
and find a submissive side in these sayings..
but sure we woman have a domestic.. a nester side..

I love to sit down and look around and caress the cosy corners..
the memory filled corners of the house.. by a glance..it sooths me..
even though they don't stay the way I arrange them .. for a long time..
there are too many fiddling fingers around..=P

but after all..sundays are "my" days..
=)
I love being at home..
and relax..

when I say relax.. I mean "not being on a schedule" ..
that really is enough..=)..
I cannot sit still to relax.. to many things keep calling me.. from within the drawers.. boxes..closets..mags.. and blogs..

we had a re-decoration last week..
all the house was under construction.. we have changed the shape of three rooms..
build a wall and demolished another..
lots of work to do.. and it was tiring because I had to go to work daily..

but it was worth it.. I love the new colours and the new dressing room and everthing..

as I had to look through all the closets.. and boxes.. I have.. found lots of unused accessories..

nowadays I love creamy colours.. they sooth me..
I love vibrant colours too ..
but I get tired of them very soon..
so..

armed with a sponge.. some acrylic paints.. my hot glue gun.. bits and pieces.. and coffee..
I have attacked every single mismatching.. kept in the box object..

this angel is a plastic.. not really good looking lady..
but it is "precious" because it was given to my husband by our daughter..
when he was very sick..
and he placed it.. next a photo of himself.. as his personal guardian angel..
she now looks precious as well.. in a verdigris finish..

and all the cheap.. expensive..
once in my taste now not.. objects..
wood, acrilic, plastic,metal, even a candle .. united by colour..
and they ended up.. in cream.. gold.. verdigris..

a few tassels.. a few silk flower petals..
and here are some of my confections..
in a temporary small vignette =)..

I deserved this dinner didn't I.. risotto with mushroom and cool white wine..
in the evening listening to my windchimes..
and calculating how many re-looked objects did I have..

5 matching picture frames..
one big candle..
an angel..
two lampbases..
two trays..

this.. is a good list of a very productive woman..
=)
oh and did I mention I also started to paint a high gloss varnish covered..
ordinary round coffee table, to make a show center for my vignette..
it is already halfway done..
=P..

keep working girl..
keep working..

sweet sunday...........

2008-06-15T17:01:00.003+03:00

early in the morning..
my lavender is in full bloom...
it is time to craft.. then..
in the silence of the house and garden..

some ribbon..
and some flowers..

one in..
one out..

a closer one..
one in ..
one out..

and now its time..
for a lavender scented coffee..
before everyone wakes up..

two birds with one pebble or.. bir taşla iki kuş ..=P

2008-06-07T13:00:00.005+03:00

about this laptop bag..
this is a back pack style bag..
olive green..
with a front pocket..
and with a big black writing the title of the congress.. on the pocket cover..
yuck..

so.. we have to disguise this..
I prepared a collage .. from the cut outs.. from the fashion and house decoration mags..
cofee and chocolate and a carved wood lady's hand object.. arranged them ..
and.. photocopied it ..
it came out as this..

I have first cut the photocopy to fit.. the flap..
applied a generous amount of white paste all over the photocopy..
over the picture side..not the blank side....
and also over the flap.. which was previously painted in white base coat..
and placed the photocopy over the flap..pressing with a dry kitchen towel over and over..
I tried not to leave any airbubbles ..
which was a hard thing.. because the .. material of the bag is not as straight as I wished..
it bended and twisted as I was pressing..
it has dried overnight..

I laid a wet kitchen towel over the dried pasted photocopy..
when it was wet..
I started to peel the paper..
I rubbed my finger over and over ..
until I started to see the picture..
this is how it looked..

I had to wet a few times more..
until all was peeled of and my picture visible ..
but careful not to peel off the picture itself..
I have noticed that it didn't stick well in some places..
so these parts remained blank white..
which is not a good thing..
when these patchy parts are small they add an aged effect ..
but when they are big .. gush..

but I went on ..
I rubbed some brown shoepolish to the white areas..
they looked better..
the picture looks a bit cloudy but when varnished it must be neater..
using a water based varnish.. I varnished all over..
three coats..
letting it dry between the coats.. which takes app. an hour..
it is quite flexible..and waterproof..

the final is.. like this..

the patches are still visible.. but softer now that thet are light brown..
I can add.. some embellishment .. over the patches..
we will see..
but I have alredy started to use it =P

and everyone loved it.. as it is..
now seeking for some embellishing ideas..
have you got any advice ??

about the mag holder..
it now sits.. proud.. and chic..
=)
do you like how it came out..

p.s. ..oo I love to take these photos..
they make me love the domestic sides of life..
=P
p.s.2.. when you do the tranfer you have to choose a picture without a writing.. because it comes out reverse..
p.s.3.. it is a rainy but sweet weekend.. we have a wonderful spring this year..

neye niyet ..neye kısmet ( what was the intent ..but what was destined..)

2008-06-05T16:08:00.006+03:00

I wanted to do this for a while..
name it lack of time or lack of ambition..
I used it as I bought it.. for nearly a year now..
I didn't plan anything..
it just happened.. =)..

In my last post I announced that I started to make a laptop bag..
not really make it but.. customize one I had..
thanks to all altered book ideas and atc ideas I have found on the net ..
I have gathered more than enough inspiration ..

The one I use now is a standart black laptop bag..
quite sturdy but without a caractere..=P
like many people huh??..
well I have been searching for something..
but couldn't find anything particular.. to suit both my needs and my taste..
so.. I remembered the olive green one..
given as a gift at the last medical congress I attended..
it had the inscription of the congress on the lid of the front pocket..
so I fancied if I could disguise this and how.. well we will see..
I am trying my hand on this..

I first decided to transfer a collage picture I made from magazine cut outs..
I applied a basecoat of white acrilic on the pocket..
then made a collage to my taste.. photocopied it..
yesterday evening I have pasted the collage photocopy..
still holding the brush..and intending to wash..
my eyes cought the wooden Ikea magazine holder.. a longtime waiting craft project..

It sits on my counter and holds the recipes..
written on the notebook or torn from magazines..

two crafts are better than one.. I decided..
headed to the mag pile on the cofee table..
and found the perfect image.. before the brush dried.. =)..

A pile of crusty bread slices..
off we go..
some more pasting.. and.. the two ( the bag and the holder).. dried side by side ..

First thing in the morning..
the transfer was wetted..
and while waiting it to be ready..
I sanded off the surplus of paper.. using a piece of sanding paper..
then a starry cut in the hole on the front..
and rolling the sanding paper.. some more sanding.. and..

here is a clean hole ..

remember the acrilic paint I applied as a base coat??..
well I added some water and it was ready to use as white wash..
for the sides..

while it was drying.. I continued to the bag altering process..
which isn't going well.. and when I say this.. I mean it..
that is why two are better than one..
you succeed at least at one of them..
and you have a story to tell on the blog.. =P

I have left the house than.. came to job..
in the evening I will varnish my holder..
and take a photo of it..
and try some more things on the bag..

I will post the result..
good or bad..

2008-05-21T18:20:00.004+03:00

I came as a visitor a couple of times this week..
to my own blogsite..
and I liked it..

Have you ever visited your blog ..
looked through the archive as a stranger..
read the comments..

Well that is how I felt..
''this used to be a nice blog..
and why is it left.. alone..'' I would say if I didn't know deep inside it is mine..
th person who is in charge of writing and publisihing and creating is ME...

Then I visited some of my friends.. let us say most of them..
without leaving any message.. any comment..
I have read and left tiptoe..
I loved again each one ..of their posts..

Then .. following a sudden impuls..
I have started to prepare the laptop bag.. crafting..
Let me knock the wood.. Iwill let you know when finished.. if I finish..

but waiting for this..
we can watch a video..
the title is..
it is how we play basketball in Istanbul..
=P..

Lebron Yigit
Uploaded by firat

it is a video prepared for the NBA skills challenge..
and I really liked this..
have some.. sightseeing..
while I craft.............

is it a quarter or a whole..

2007-10-02T18:48:00.000+03:00

a group..of objects..on my desk..

(well not really at the picture they are .. out..on the garden table .. for a better light )
from left to right..the 25th year of the graduation plate.. from my high school..

the 25th year of the graduation plate from the medical college..

the clock.. from a thrift shop.. staying normally at the .. '' it grows with the time'' part of my garden ..set up at a quarter to twelwe..on purpose.. for this article..

and the 25th year celebration album of one of the famous turkish ethic rock music groups ..one of my favourite's..

the group's name.. is ''ezginin günlüğü'' ..

which means ''diary of music''..

the album's name.. is çeyrek '' quarter''..

various singers have recorded each a song of the group..

they have chosen the song and have performed in their own style of singing.. they made a ''cover'' isn't it the name for it.. re-styling the old songs..

and one of the singers is the young rocker.. I have mentionned before..at an older post..

and who is now at the under protection corner of the blog..

at the right column..

under protection with nadja and a statue..

and who knows with whom else.. in the future..

and..why he is under protection.. well .. I will tell you later..

last saturday we went out for shopping with my daughter.. the bud.. of the older post..

and we have finally acquired it..

coming back home..

it has his place on my desk..

listening to it..and sipping my red vine..
I thought about relativity again..

just because of this name.. a quarter..

a quarter of what..

a quarter of life..

a quarter of professional life..

a quarter of a whole..

or what else??

sometimes I get nervous..

because I have young children for my age..

I was a primare agée already when I had my son..

I was 34 yrs old..and 38 when I had my daughter..

this inflicts me some worries..

will I stay healthy.. and strong until they grow up..

until they become adults..

tell me when is it that.. they become adult..??

at 25??..

they will be graduating from college..

maybe in search for a job..
when my daughter will be 25..

ooh.. no I don't want to calculate..=P..

I will be young enough.. to wear my purple hat.. and my red lipstick..

I can swear.. =)

no no.. I am not getting depressive again..just brain - storming..

none of us is able to see the future..

so there is only hopes..

that they grow up..healthy.. and happy..

and that we.. can see them grow.. and be happy..

and meanwhile we must never forget..

25 could also be.. can be ..

the whole..

of it..

the day after..

2007-09-28T07:59:00.000+03:00

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

— (William Shakespeare, As You Like It, 2/7)

how do you think was Cindrella feeling..at the end of the ball..
tired and happy..

nope..

she must have felt unhappy.. more then ever..

you don't miss what you don't know..

now she has seen.. another style of life..

she knows the differences..

of being the ball beauty..

and the maid..

why do I always have the awkwardest way of thinking..

about life..

where do they pop-up..

this time I know.. the shoes..

just the shoes..

let's leave her there.. and ..

let's talk about our bloglandia ball ..

being a woman at her golden age =P..

I now how to appreciate every single opportunity to have fun..to be happy..
I don't have time to loose with small problems..

as tubbing feet because of dancing..

aching head.. because of all the champagne I have had..

pain in the neck.. due to too much headbang..

and back.. because of all the swinging and spinning..

I have enjoyed it all..the ambiance.. the moon light..the music.. the dance.. the dancing queens.. and the friendship..
thank you EB for the organization..it has been a real dissertation from daily routine..

Some of you who have been dancing with me..

asked about my very special music playing at the blog..
it is.. Elalem (other people) from gripin (a turkish rock group)..

Explaining the changes happening in life and at the blog I had also mentionned that..

I will play different rock songs in sweet rough voices..

I really like them..and will try to share my preferred ones.. from time to time..
the rock music.. has made a real boom in my country..

It may be because ..

young people have a lot more to protest then we used to do..

it is harder to find an aim..

harder to get concentrated .. to succeed .. all the way to the aim..

coming back home.. my candles were still lit..

the white rainlilies were shining..at the moon and candle light..

I made some more wishes..

sssh.. they are between Chang'e and me..

bloglandia ball and Chang'e

2007-09-26T16:24:00.000+03:00

I have always loved ball dresses..
and fancy accessories..
and .. tailor's mannequins..

when I have learned there is a ball project going on..
I loved it..
the idea.. of making my own ball dress and go to bloglandia ball

I have also read about the moon festival.. that Sandy has mentionned..
I learned a lot..
about Chang'e.. and the traditions..
I even have a plan..
of litting lanterns.. and preparing a place for the moon girl..
of putting some toiletries at this place..
under the moonlight.. and wish for.. beauty.. and love.. (more is never enough)..
then I will fly off to the ball..
wearing this dress..
I have designed..
and taken the picture.. while it is still on the tailor's mannequin itself..

I don't have a real sized one..
and even if I had..
I don't do real sewing..
small things..embellishment..refashioning..
that is all I can handle..

but..I have one ideal for holding accessories..
which stands on my dressing table..
I couldn't loose the opportunity of using it..
for this miniature ball dress could I.. and I didn't..

I have also prepared a collar..
a pompom fur collar.. perfect for exaggerating .. =P

a close up to show the details of the model and the material I used to do it..
velvet.. and lace.. and fur.. and black.. love the combination..
a strapless and sequin bordered top..
a baloon mini skirt.. both in velvet..
the lace part goes over the mini skirt part.. and makes the dress romantic..
it goes high and it has a fluffy volume..something I can't wear in real life..
not to show off my gorgeous figure =P..
but a bloglandia ball is the perfect place to be showy..

to go with the dress..a perfect handbag..
and heigh heeled fancy shoes..
not made of crystal..
I am nor cindrella anymore..
but of porcelain..

people..
come from miles around..
to hear the music makers..
bring your friends and children too
to hear the music makers..
have some fun out in the country..
celebrate the music in the open air..

who's song was it..

does anyone remember??

*********

I wish I wish dear Chang'e..
that I this dress be the first of the others to follow..

a weekend's story..

2007-09-25T15:45:00.000+03:00

resume...
(see.. I am here.. after just 2 days.. I will soon start writing daily.. as I used too.. )

the weekend..
I have worked a while in the garden..
and I noticed that I enjoy to garden on autumn sundays.. more than I do on spring sundays..

well I have finally found the reason =P
I am running away from kids who are doing the first weekend-homeworks of the scholar year...
they have so many excuses to get off the desks..to ask me .. questions..
to not to use dictionnaries..
so many distractions.. that I feel a swelling inside me..
and I fly off to the garden.. before exploding..

nope here they come .. they follow me outside..
all they want is motherly love and tenderness.. they say =)

''how do we say it is nice hot.. but I don't want the word ''warm''..
I want it to be sophisticated.. and I want to use it for describing the weather..
well the one thing I am not good at.. is translation..
I think and talk.. in all the languages I know..
I am forced to answer..
well .. eee...lemonade?? ..
he went on..
is this an adjective .. lemonade weather.. or what??..
I tried to run off.. but he insists..
finally.. WE have taken the dictionnary..
WE.. because.. he didn't by himself..
(is the dictionnary a wild animal or what else)..
I did.. taking him at my sides..

so I have managed to change some pots..
to rince pebbles and decors..
to take some things in .. some out..
I saluted a few snails and slugs..
they are so few this year due to hothothot weather..
that I salute them when I meet them .. they are under protection this year.. =P

I re-arrenged my pots.. at the front porch..
and placed some candle holders.. around them ..
I scissored the overgrown ivy..
and I have found the spare keys of the car..
DH was looking for them for a month..
they were under the ivy..
no-one knows how they have got there..

I did the things I promessed.. my hobby room.. remember..
the green heaven of mine

I have read blogs..
beautiful posts about crafts ..
and visiting Sandy I have noticed I am just on time for my fancy dress and join the bloglandia ball
well you will hear from me too..
=)

I read your comments.. and enjoyed them so much.. thanks for not forgetting this crazy woman..

I have changed a bit my blog's appearence..
grey.. is the autumn sky.. cool..
the image at the top of the page..
is Istanbul..
the ships are called ''vapur'' .. dating back to the french.. ''à vapeur'' ..(steam-boat)..
they are not steamed any more.. but the word is used for ''ship''.. in Istanbul.. although the we have a perfect ''gemi'' for all Türkiye.. Istanboulotes prefer vapur..
oh I live in a peculiar city =)

the vapurs.. and the seagulls.. and the beautiful lavender coloured sky.. the bluish-greenish sea.. they are perfect for the blog..

there are some more changes..
I have prepared a corner on the right side..
things under protection..
this will be a corner for people I have loved but not met in person..
people or objects who need to be protected.. and remembered.. from my point of view..
for my personal reasons.. I will tell you about them.. their stories.. ou might finf interesting too..
I have added.. the links of my three blogs in turkish..
just to see how they are..

I will change the music..
and sometimes the words..
as I love.. misty voices..( and misty voices) man or female.. we will hear some misty turkish rock groups..
'' to be happy is in your power..
do not forget..
they don't appreciate.. do not cheat yourself..
do not wear yourself out..''
there will also be some other changes..

we'll see .. we'll see..

Back again.. ?th time =)

2007-09-22T09:05:00.000+03:00

Short summary..

I am back..
I have finished my holiday time.
As every year, I went to my summer house in the southern part of Aegean sea.
Beautiful surroundings,pine forests, fresh sea breeze,the cicadas (les cigalles.. as a more romantic saying) , no news, no tv, no disturbances.
It was a rejuvenating refreshing zen like experience to my much harcelled soul.

I decided to call it my iguana holiday.
No more movements than just the necessary ones, and in a very slow motion speed.
Not an attractive holiday style for those who like the lively.. sportive leisure time..
But I do have a most culturally active and lively city life during winter, so
a bit of inactivity will do no harm.

When back..
I finished school preparations of the kids.
have out-grown all their school uniforms,it is funny to notice how they grow during summer,dear passion flowers of mine =);
and they have already started their school.

So... I can restart blogging .
I can restart to tell you about life..in Istanbul..in my house..in my kitchen.. even in my hobby room.. I hope..
Don't worry, no more lamenting on this blog, even though there is a lot to worry about in my country.
I have decided to share my feelings and I will let you know what happens in here, from time to time.

First amongst all..
Daily life..

I am trying to tidy up nowadays..
tidy up the house and the garden too..
The ecological changes have struck my small garden ..
As we were warned about the limitation of water consumption in Istanbul..
this summer, I had not planted any perennials.
Some self seeding plants have come out by themselves ..
but they were not very happy to be here..

Even at the hottest time of the summer.. I have watered the remaining evergreens ..
just enough to not let them die back totally..
those of you who take care of a garden must know it becomes like your kid..
you start to care about it with passion..
and it really frustrated me.. to see them bend their necks during day time..
we just survived the summer .. my garden and me..
and now the rainy days are doing them so good..to me too following the hot hot humid weather..
My pear tree had plenty of fruits.. they have got ripe in a week..
they re all waiting to be picked up.. and to be cooked.. My preferred jam..is
a cinnamon scented golden puree that I use while making pear pies..cookies..

I have also started to make plans for next year..
I will dig up a few evergreens and relocate them for a more balanced look..
change the place of the garden seats..
re-arrange the decorations to be visible from the inside..
and change the soil of the house plants..and take them inside..including the tree ..
Do you remember.. my ''tree in the house''..once again will be moved into the house..
the same as I did for the last 19 yrs..

Habits.. routines.. things we are accomodated to do.. are building a security wall around us..
this is an undistinguished wall .. that we notice if we loose or fear to loose it..

I wish to all of you .. a wonderful beautiful autumnal weekend..
and start my daily round on your blogs ..

=)

2007-08-22T07:56:00.000+03:00

don't like be depressive..
and can't hold on to depressive mood..
Sandy asked me What??
maybe nothing maybe.. a lot..
we better not to take credit over misfortunes.. bad news..
now..

I am leaving for a holiday..
hope that I will feel better.. and write happier..
when back..

sea.. sun.. beach..
trees and silence..

feeling.. listening..

2007-08-19T11:05:00.000+03:00

good morning..
blog..
and friends..
hope you have a better weekend then me..

another awkward day..
making me feel like a stranger....
a tv channel has been attacked..
by people reacting to the name of a dog .. at a serial..
hüseyin..
this is common human name..
which also was the name of one of the chalifs..

hundreds of people went to the main building of the channel where many people were working at this time..
protesting.. shouting.. and they were stopped by police force..
who had to use gas bombs..
the channel has promessed to make excuses at the news .. and they went away..
the aggression of the crowds.. is becoming more prominent..
they disturbed me..
they stressed me..

access to the wordpress internet site was blocked by the turkish telecom.. for one day..
the director of wordpress declared ''I didn’t realize turkey had a great firewall like china. this is really unfortunate because we have a really passionate turkish community that gets about 12 million pageviews a month''

the freedom of writing/reading could not be that vulnerable..
if something wrong was detected.. warning could be made.. words.. against words.. not blockade.. not forbidding..

I.. who have explained to my kids..
even when they were 2 yrs old..
why they shouldn't do something..
for hours..
never.. saying forbidden..

yes..
I .. feel awkward..
I am laughing.. but inside.. I feel stressed..
tip of the iceberg feeling..
will I wake up one day
and see no access to the internet..
heavy censuring on the media..
I don't know..
this makes me feel unsecure..

otherwise..
in my simple personal life..
I am ok..
going out..
discussing with my young friends..
having lots of time with my kids..
working..
making preparations for school time..
dreaming about a late vacation to my summer house..

maybe I shouldn't listen to the news..
they affect me deeply..but then I wouldn't learn.. what's happening..
******

do you like the music..
this is a turkish rock group..
says..
I can't give my pain away to you..

we can't..
maybe we can share.. we can try to understand the reason..
but we can't give it away..

a stranger in her own country

2007-08-17T15:22:00.000+03:00

It has been a long time I know..

It was something that irritated me too..

a blogger who stops writing with no known reasons..
I believe this is ..

because we care about people we know...

and we start to know people .. their thoughts.. and their life.. byreading their posts..and by viewing their photos..
so I started to worry when someone stopped writing..

especially when the last post indicated to some problems.. like mine..

well I am not sure I will be writing every day..

but I will go on blogging as frequently as I can..

about how I feel and live nowadays..

I first want to thank to you all for your comments to my last post.. showing your affection ..

I told you there were some public reactions about the government in my country..

reactions of those who are feeling and living as modern world's citizens..

the election of the president has not been possible under the circumstances ..

so there has been a general election on the 22 th of july..

It was not a surprise for me ..

although we were hoping a democtatic and laicist parliement majority..

to see the results..

Our hopes faded in the evening of the election day..

the results were clear..

1 people on two.. voted for AKP..

well .. we used to say.. how happy it is to say..''I am turkish '' ( a motto of the first days of the republic.. just to unite all ethnic and religious groups and to create a nation )

now we say how happy you are .. to the 1/2..

Here are the results of the elections..

AKP (islamist): 340 is the majority..

CHP(social democrate): 112

MHP(nationalist): 71

BAĞIMSIZ(individuals): 27

20 of the individuals united and became the DTP (kurdish) group.. on the 8th of august..

so now the list goes on..

DTP : 20

and individuals 7

now comes the election for the president of the republic..

the canditate is A. Gül..

and I believe he will make it this time..

how happy for them..

and the mills are turning..

how I feel??..

I do agree with Franco Frattini (European Commission - Vice-President Commissioner ) ..

he send a message to the first minister.. saying to take good care of the ''laicist minority''..

yes I was feeling different.. but now I know..

I looked at the conditions to be determined as minority.. it says'' being different in any way from the majority of the country ''

I am part of a minority in my country.. so beware..

why do I feel so??..

well .. for example when I am reading at internet news ( most of the media is under the pressure of the government.. and we worry about the internet service .. we shall see..)

that the Minister of Internal Affairs, eats risotto at an official dinner....

likes it very much and..

while telling his appreciation to the cook .. l

earns there is wine within the risotto..

throws away the plate and accuses the governer and punishes him by taking his post..

expells him..

I feel awkward..

a stranger in her own country..

that is how I feel..

*****************

the photos..

are of the first president of the Republic of Türkiye..Atatürk and his wife and family .. on 1927

and of the candidate for the presidency and his wife and daughter .. on 2007..

how happy they are..

last days of pompei..

2007-04-22T11:41:00.000+03:00

dear ladies..
my beautiful friends..
I am sure you must ask to yourself.. what is happening..why this lady has changed so much..and what are those pictures.. those..flags and posts..well.. I have to write something.. don't I..?? as this is not a newspaper but a blog.. my blog.. my feelings..

I will not try to give you a history lesson..
I am trying to tell you about how insecure I feel..as a woman..as a mother...
every time I wake up.. or do somehing.. I have a little voice behind my head.. whispering..
some things are going on..
something is going terribily wrong..
some things that will change my country from top to bottom.. therefore my life..
some things that we are really frightened.. are being prepared..
that is how we feel..how I feel ..insecure and suspended..from life..

I despise politicians..If I have to do a summary.. here is the reason..
when the social democrate and liberal parties were the government..
when they had the power..
they have not changed the weak electorial system..
because it suited them..
there is a levelling system..
if a certain party doesn't reach a certain percentage of votes..
it is not presented at the parliement..
and small radical nationalist .. islamist parties were never reaching this level..
and it suited them..the liberalist and the social democrates.. never feared ..

and then the corruption reached them..
the people ..the nation was not satisfied by their policies and reacted..
by not voting for them.. buy not voting at all....
and at the last election the islamist party won..
this was a schock for all of us..intellectuals.. educated people had reacted by not voting..
they took the risk..
and the social democrates were in the parliement but were in minority..
the liberal.. nationalist.. communist parties were even not presented..
the reason is ..
there are so many parties..on the same wing of the political system..
but stealing votes from each other..
we have corrupted the democratic system..

and now the minority of the voters (21%of the votes) is presented by the majority of the parliement..
and each time they tried to change one of the basic laicist rules..
the president of the republic ..
who is the last person to decide about the laws..
has refused and send back without signing..
and now this parliement is going to choose a new president..the last fort of the secular republic is at risk..
with this change they will be able to change all ..
the educational laws..
the health laws.. all the laws..
and definitely our lives..

I don't thing that any other country's resident will understand this..
but if you don't belong to a certain place.. a certain nation..
you think about them as yourself..
well..being at the border of the islamic world..being at the border of the middle east..is always a risk..high risk..
imagine yourself.. as forced to live at the inquisitions time..
these changes we have fears about.. are going to drive us in it..

and the politicians are still the same..
still not united..
still quarrelling..
and you know this is not someting you can change by voting any more..
before the elections for the parliement..
everything could have been changed..

we may have different political choices..but finally we all are happy to live in democracy.. therefore there are still some meetings prepared..
just to warn..
warn about..
that we are many who believe in democracy..in a secular system..
because the leading party believes..it is over..
that they are the winners..
that they are the majority..
they give speeches ..
so sure of themselves..so despising..
the places ..streets boulevards were overcrowded on the 14th of april..
the guest book of the mausolee of Atatürk was signed by 538 000 people on one day..
but the prime minister keeps saying..
''how many are them???..
they say a million.. is zero such a simple number to place after another number..
I don't believe they were too many..''

how can a president be so despising againts the people he is leading..
what is this?? a game..
I believe he had to say..something explanatory .. something with empathy ..
to the nation..
you don't lead your country by quarreling with and humiliating the people..

these meetings will go on..
just to try to show them.. we.. civils.. we are many..
we don't belong to a certain political fraction ..
to a certain group.. we are individuals united by reason ..
we are not agitated or guided by other people..
we are just individuals reasoning the same..
we all want to go on living in.. a secular democratic republic ..

tomorrow is the foundation day of the Republic of Türkiye ..
under normal circumstances..
this is celebrated as the national children's day..
and for many years now.. the international children's day..

this week we have learned that there will be a contest of Koran reading.. amongst children..
for the celebration of the prophet's birth week..on the republic day..
what is this..??
a quarrel between the prophet and the founder of the country??..is this possible??..
this must be a dream..no a nightmare..
and as people have reacted..
they delayed the contest..

this republic was founded..on the 23th of april at 1920 ..
in the middle of nowhere..in a country without borders..
during a war..
by a very wise man..and people around him who were believing to the impossible..
and now.. here we go again .. is it so..??..

the last day of appliance for the persons to be voted as president..
is the 25th of april.. until midnight..
they have to be backed by 110 parliementers..
who will be on the list??..
and ..on the 26th of april..
how will we be??..still unsecure??.. better??.. assured..??I don't know..

I feel we are on a roller coaster..
and the mechanics are all gone crazy..
I cannot imagine the future..
I cannot tell my children..
to keep on studying.. to become..
to keep on being xxx.. to become..
all my values are upside down..
I don't know if my son.. a sweet 17teen..
will be at shool or.. in the middle of a war..next year..
I am not sure..if my daughter will be able to go to school..
make ballet performances..
or even be able to go out shopping by herself..
in a few years.. will she be under veils??
or will she become the comedian she wants to become..??
so I am not talking with them about the future anymore..
I cannot..and I feel terrible..

when I try to craft or garden ..
I start to think..will this be your only occasion for life??.. staying home and crafting..or gardening..
will you be able to go out.. at open places..by yourself..?? to buy some new plants..
talk with the man at the garden center..
and I stop.. doing whatever I have started to do..

there was aPTA at the school of my daughter last week..
and we were joking this might be last time we worry about their french level.. or maths ..
black humour..

after or before the elections..
will there be.. an army reaction (which we all rely on.. against all our democratic aspects)..funny huh??or will there be street fights??..or will there be nothing..??

will we hit the bottom..??
do we need this.. to understand the importance of our country and life..??
I sometimes believe we do..
as our leader for all times.. Atatürk has thought about all the details of human rights while founding this republic....
we never had to fight for them ..
and we are like adolescents..
who want to try for themselves..
make their own faults..
and learn the right way.. by their own experience..
we have not understood the value of what was given to us..
maybe this is the right way to obtain it..??
maybe we had to.. have to.. fight to for this..??

but for now.. I am scared..
I really am..
and when I go outside..
into this beautiful.. wise and old city around me..
which has seen soo many ..
full of people working.. having fun..going to concerts..movies..buying houses.. getting married..
with springtime around..
I feel awkward..

but I know..
we all are like trapped in a horror movie..
at the first scream..
at the first alert..
everything can come upside down..

and I keep saying to myself..
the last days pompei..is it so??..
but on a national base.. this means war.. struggle between brothers....

well this is how I feel..
and this is why this blog has.. flags.. news.. anouncement..
just to give myself a secure place.. a little of assurance...................

if the main subject is the country.. everything else.. is detail

2007-04-15T10:19:00.000+03:00

would you mind about some details..

we were compassianate we were handicapped but powerful
we were beautiful
we were young but not inexperted

we were the poppy fields..
the turkish press tried to stay disinterested..
but after they saw the crowds..
they too couldn't stay away..
..
we came from every where..
..
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

plato

we are walking for our laicist republic...

2007-04-13T12:34:00.000+03:00

there are whispering voices..are you coming?? of course.. and you?? .. sure I do..
we are all going.. those who can't..
are hanging their flags to their houses..
flags are important for us..
I mentionned before..
............
Ankara is going to be poppy field tomorrow..
red flags..
we are coming even from Bangkok.. from europe..
all who believe in the value of our republic.. enthrusted to each of us.. by Atatürk..
and we are so many..
............
the weak parts of the electorial system..
the patience of those waiting in the dark.. for their day..
will never overcome..
.............
we were warned..
Our all time leader told us..
I enthrust the republic to you..

he told us..

Turkish Youth!
Your first duty is forever to preserve and to defend the Turkish Independence
and the Turkish Republic.This is the very foundation of your existence and your
future. This foundation is your most precious treasure.

In the future, too, there may be malevolent people at home and abroad who will
wish to deprive you of this treasure.

If some day you are compelled to defend your independence and your republic,
you must not tarry to weigh the possibilities and circumstances of the situation
before taking up your duty. These possibilities and circumstances may turn out
to be extremely unfavourable. The enemies conspiring against your independence
and your republic, may have behind them a victory unprecedented in the
annals of the world.
It may be that, by violence and ruse, all the fortresses of your beloved
fatherland may be captured, all its shipyards occupied, all its armies dispersed
and every part of the country invaded. And sadder and graver than all these
circumstances, those who hold power within the country may be in error,
misguided and may even be traitors.
Furthermore, they may indentify their personal interests with the political
designs of the invaders. The country may be impoverished, ruined and exhausted.
Youth of Turkey''s future,
Even in such circumstances it is your duty to save the Turkish Independence
and Republic.
You will find the strength you need in your noble blood.
Gazi Mustafa Kemal Atatürk..........
..................
we are.. now under many risks.. from inside and outside..
and first..
we are walking to our father's grave..
to thank him for the warning..
and that we are care of our future.. and his thrust..

my long distance angel..

2007-01-22T11:20:00.000+02:00

I have an angel..
out there.. in the southern-eastern part of the world..
she is a quiet.. calm.. joyful lady..
I have found her blog about six months ago.. theshoppingsherpa..
and have started to leave her messages.. after a while..
she doesn't know.. but I have read all her posts..
the old people say.. '' kendine münhasır'' which means'' special to herself.. in my country..
this means a personality that you cannot categorize..
I love her posts.. short.. and bright..full of sense of humour.. uncategorizable.. she can craft.. travel.. shop.. or design.. and she writes about all these.. in her own way..

yes dear bloggers..I like many of your posts.. but what makes her special for me.. is.. that.. she is the one to remind good intentions and empathy.. and frienship.. and this on the right time.. when it is most needed..

you know I was.. sad .. because of this terrorist.. this fanatic young man who shot a journalist in the middle of MY city.. MY country..
can something make you feel completely a foreigner to where you belong to your own society.. ??
yes .. this was the effect of this crime on me..

and coming home from work.. there was a parcel waiting for me..
with a white angel hidden in it.. ( can you see this stubborn tiny face.. this is the expression of a child who insists for something.. but insists cheerfuly.. knowing inside that she is irresistable.. as loved little kids know ..she is so sweet..)
she send me an angel.. the moment I most needed..

thank you .. so much..
for bringing me back.. from sadness.. to belief in humans..

as I told you..
you are my long distance angel.. from now on..
thank you..

and here she goes.. on my all white table.. next to her older sisters..
she looks quite happy..
how do you think????

ps.. I don't even mention the chocolates which kept her company for all the way..
kids have finished them in 10 min.. not even my angel could protect them..=))

where do pigeons go..

2007-01-20T19:06:00.000+02:00

I AM SAD..
I AM FURİOUS..
TERROR HAS WON .. AGAIN.. HUMANITY HAS LOST.. AGAIN.. FREEDOM.. HAS LOST AGAIN..
IN MY CITY.. 100 m. TO THE PLACE I WORK.. A JOURNALİST.. AN INTELLECTUAL.. WAS KILLED .. ON THE WALKWAY.. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON.. SHOT.. TO DEATH..
I AM SPEECHLESS.. HE WAS A JOURNALIST.. AIMING FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH.. HISTORY.. HIS WEAPON.. WAS WORDS.. IDEAS.. HE IS THE 62 TH JOURNALIST.. IF YOU CLICK ON YOU WILL SEE THE LIST AND DATES.. IT IS THE TURKISH JOURNALISTS LOUNGE 'S WEB ADRESS..THEY WERE ALL KILLED FOR WHAT THEY HAVE WRITTEN..I HAVE WITNESSED SOME THESE ASSASINATIONS.. I FELT GUILTY ABOUT EACH..
EACH TIME I HEARD THIS SAME SENTENCE..''DID YOU HEAR.. IS SHOT''.... I FELT PETRIFIED.. THEY WERE WRITING.. NEWS.. TRUTH.. IDEAS.. WORDS.. SOME HAVE BEEN SHOT.. 2 HAVE BEEN KILLED BY A BOMB PLACED INTO THEIR CARS.. IN PIECES..
BUT HRANT IS SPECIAL FOR WORLD'S NEWS.. AND TURKIYE'S HISTORY.. HE IS THE FIRST ARMENIAN.. HE WILL BE REMEMBERED SO.. ARMENIAN JOURNALIST.. AND THIS WAS NOT THE ADJECTIVE HE WANTED TO BE CITED WITH..
HIS SOUL WILL BE SAD.. BECAUSE DURING ALL HIS LIFE HE HAD BEEN SENSITIVE ABOUT THIS.. ABOUT BEING A TURKISH CITIZEN..
NOW HE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM HIS FAMILY.. FROM HIS READERS.. FROM OUR COMMUNITY.. AN HE WILL ALSO BE CARRIED TO ANOTHER DIMENSON..
YESTERDAY.. I HAVE ATTENTED TO THE PROTEST MARCH.. WHERE THOUSANDS CAME.. BECAUSE I FELT SO LONELY.. I WANTED TO SHARE HUMAN WARMTH.. THE WARMTH OF PEOPLE I LOOK ALIKE.. NOT THOSE COOL CRIMINALS..
THE CROWDS.. WERE SHOUTİNG .. WE ARE ALL ARMENIAN.. WE ARE ALL HRANT..
BUT TO WHAT DOES IT SERVE..
I WOULD LIKE TO TRANSLATE A PART OF ONE OF HIS ARTICLES..
'' I AM LIKE A PIGEON.. I HAVE AS MANY EYES AS THEM ..LOOKING BACK FRONT..LEFT RIGHT.. AND AS QUICK WITH MY HEAD MOVEMENTS AS THEM.. YES .. I MIGHT SEE MY SOUL IN A NERVOUSNESS OF A PIGEON.. BUT I KNOW THAT IN THIS COUNTRY PEOPLE DO NOT TOUCH THE PIGEONS..PIGEONS CAN LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF CITIES, WITHIN THE CROWDS.. MAYBE A BIT NERVOUS.. BUT AS FREE AS PIGEONS.. WHERE DO PIGEONS GO WHEN THEY DIE..
FAREWELL HRANT .. LAY IN PIECE.. IN PIECE FOR WHICH YOU HAVE WORKED SO HARD..

***************************
update.. on.. 21.01.2007
today the police has declared that the criminal has been caught..
he is 21.. close friend to the bomber of Mc Donalds in Trabzon..
his view was captured by street cameras at the place where he killed Hrant Dink..
and was published in daily newspapers and on tv ..
his father has recognised him..
and called the police..
saying that his son has left.. 3 days ago.. telling them he is going to Istanbul..
and the police.. spotting his friends.. and phone calls.. caught him..at the bus station..
good for justice..
a little relief for the family of Hrant..
nothing is changed for Hrant..
and think once..

what would you do if you recognised your son.. wanted.. for homicide..
this must have been a very hard moment for a parent.. I am sorry.. for the father ..
and believe he must be a brave man..
to denounce his own son..
*****************************

funny watery windy travel tradition..

2007-01-11T11:47:00.000+02:00

now I have a story..
not an emotional one .. this time .. a funny one..
but before.. I have to give some explanations..so that you can understand the funny part.
In my country..there are many many tradiotions and rituals.. I know you are now thinking.. so what.. in all countries there are..

but the more you go to the east.. the more you have traditions..
don't forget the sun rises from east =)) and I am an eastern..

so when someone we love is departing.. for travel..
we are pouring a jug of water on the road.. throwing it as far as we can.. at the same direction that the vehicle he takes starts moving.. saying out loud .. go as the water ../ sular gibi git / .. and we say silently.. as an inner voice.. come back as the water../sular gibi dön/..this part is silent.. to not to attract the attention of evil.. sometimes.. we have a wetting accdent when doing it.. but this is a minor trouble if compared to all others..

the water finds its way.. has always a way to go..
and we believe that the loved one will travel swiftly.. without an accident.. and will come back soon without trouble.. =)).. that is the important part.. coming back..

so today..I have finally posted the long ago promessed contribution to Kim's project.. I am a bit late but .. you will excuse me.. I told you earlier about my mood.. nor being crafty and all.. so Kim forgive me.. I did it finally right??
I went to the hospital.. and asked my assistant ( male- 40 ) to take the parcel to the post office.. and ask if there are faster ways of sending..and so..

he came back saying he did send it..
I suddenly felt awkward .. because it was not me in person who posted it as I wished.... and an uncontrolled question came out ..
-did you say.. have a good journey??
quickly came the answer..
- yes but I did not throw out water..
-no.. don't.. we don't want it to come back.. we want it to reach Kim..

and I laughed out loud..
this is not the normal conversation at the hospital you know..
we talk about how to manipulate.. take care.. give service to the patients..
not about rituals and so..
when I think back.. we should.. =))

yes it is on it's way.. the post-office man told that t will arrive to the destination in 7 days .. which means in 10 days.. Kim..
and you bloggers and visitors..don't wait for a photo.. I did not take any photos.. it will be a surprise for her.. and if she likes she will post it on her blog.. all I can tell is the theme title I choose for it..
' women of different culture and eras.. united by craft'
all you have as a photo today.. is the windmill .. near my summer cottage..
why did I chose it..

well you can accept it as an energetic goodbye gesture to the parcel..

or find a wise saying of your own..
have a nice day.. nicest of all..
ps.. I have tried to visit all of my blogger friends since yesterday.. but some pages insist on no-downloading.. so if you haven't heard from me.. for some time.. it is not me to blame.. but the web.. I will come and try again soon.. until then..

new year.. new ... start

2007-01-03T12:10:00.000+02:00

first decision on the first days of the year.. not to be so emotional on the december to come.. be cool and objective about things to do.. gifts to buy..or craft.. I first started by organizing my pc .. too many photos.. not used..not good enough to be used.. not titled.. I have found.. some more pictures of the new year's decorations around the city..
stars.. lights..

red.. green..this one is at 2.30 am 01.01.2007 .. two and a half hours gone bye.. from the new year.. this is Taksim square.. globes.. and traffic.. can you see behind..

there was such a traffic that we had to park the car far away from the square and... walk..

taksim is the square where 4 main boulevards are meeting.. one of them being the Pera street.. I showed you photos of this street before.. during day time..

days never end in Pera.. it is the night club area.. and as no cars are allowed.. you have to walk.. ideal for 'pub crawling'.. as the english say..

there are small bars everywhere.. blues bars.. rock bars.. popbars..

that's where we headed for.. after the party with the family..
back at home in the morning.. we have spend most of the day sleeping.. in bed or in front of tv..

later I looked through the gifts once again..

the one I like best.. most.. is.. the writing set.. a nostalgic one.. complete with the ink..

can you guess the colour of the ink.. purple of course..

now it is time for a wish for the new year..

remember my spot under my tree-in-the-house..

my tree is shedding leaves.. and here is an inspiration for the new year wish..

I wish me- you- we all leave behind.. fallen.. broken.. sad memories and events ..

and can face the new year.. being as prepared.. and organized as a new start.. to a chess game..

as I mentioned organised.. I should be going now.. to organize.. my long forgotten craft room..

get rid of the gift package rests.. ribbons.. tags and so.. and have a new start.. to the new year..

hope sharing some crafting in the days to come..

sacrifice day.. last day of the year..

2006-12-30T19:21:00.000+02:00

the sheep at the desk..
'' we don't want to be remembered just for one day..
we want all days to be.. sacrifice day..''

this is an awkward day..
the last day of the year.. new year's eve..
and the first day of the bayram..
the second important religious feast of the islamic world..

if we rely upon history of religion..
St Abraham could not have a child.. a son..
so he prayed God for a son..
and he was rewarded..
and this was a great boy.. happy.. healthy and intelligent..
when the child was 9 years old..
God asked him to sacrifice his son.. to prove his belief.. and obedience towards God..
and he obeyed.. even though it was very hard to..
he took his son at the top of the mountain of Mina and was just going to sacrifice his son..that a ram appeared.. and talked to him..
saying that God is very satisfied about him.. and that he has to sacrifice him.. instead of his son..

and therefore this is the day of sacrificing a ram.. a sheep in the name of God..

kurban.. is the word in turkish.. and means.. getting closer.. it is a need.. of getting closer to God..!!..

at least this is the history I know..

and there are rules about.. about the animal's not suffering.. about the animal's age..
and nature.. and about the consumption..
you don't eat this sacrifice yourself..
you have to give 1/7 to your family.. relations..
and the rest for the poor families.. for charity..
well I can question the application for today..not the history..and nowadays.. in Turkey..
more and more people are trying .. not to kill an animal.. even in the name of God..
thay say..if we have to help.. let us help in a different way..
a ram's cost is known..
so they give the money to charity houses.. or to people in need..
but of course this depends on the education.. of the intellectual level..

some still prefer to sacrifice..
I don't.. we don't..
there willstill be many discussions between animal rights defenders.. and ' traditionals'..
much explanations by state responsibles.. and protests by common people..
discussions are good.. they come in the end to better solutions..

so..
this year.. people in Turkey will first celebrate the bayram..
of helping.. and thanking God.. everyone in his own way..
and then will step in a new year..
which is not the new year for islamic calendar.. because as you may know or not..
the islamic calendar depends on the lunar systheme.. therefore the months are 28 days long and the new year day is not the same..
but as we use the international calendar.. I don't know when the islamic new year begins..
all I know is this..
as the bayrams have always changing dates.. coming approximately 10 days earlier each year.. for me the first thing to look on the new calendar is the date of bayrams.. national and religious.... because I want to know when I don't go to work.. =))
Yesss..
this is holidays for me..
until.. thursday..
we are on holiday.. =D.. isn't it great a new year starting with a holiday..
I wish you all the best new year's day...

HAPPY 2007

2006-12-30T09:16:00.000+02:00

I wish all of you.. my dear blogger-crafter-artist friends..

a happy new year

filled with peace..

happiness

joy

tenderness

friendship

sharing

prosperity..

LOVE and HEALTH..

a very complicated post to write..

2006-12-26T21:02:00.000+02:00

I don't know how to write about this.. this can be a dessert recipe.. or a love story.. or mysticism.. whichever you prefer..
a few months after my mother's death.. I learned I was pregnant again.. I was 38.. did not want another child.. I already had my son..
but hoping it could be a girl.. I went on .. I was working hard.. until late in thr evening..was very busy..
after some tests ( amniosynthesis ) I learned that it was a perfectly healty little girl.. another female love .. in my life.. oo joy..
she was only 2 month's old when my father became sick..
he had called me before my daughter's birth.. telling he did not feel very good.. and wouldn't be present in Istanbul on the birth-day..
well he was 84 and I did not want to disturb him.. I told him he could stay where he was.. and take care of himself.. and I will see him later.. he said he would be coming on september.. we were talking regularly on the phone.. about the baby.. life.. what we were doing.. frequently he was telling how much he missed my mother....
one day on september.. some relatives called me and announced he was severly sick and even
comatous.. I was so sad.. both for my father.. and for myself.. for the baby.. he hadn't met my daughter.. he neighter..
he was transported to Istanbul by a special ambulance hellicopter.. and was taken directly to the hospital where I worked.. and was operated.. all went great .. he recovered.. asked about my baby.. and my son of course.. and I took my daughter.. gigling and pink and white.. to the hospital.. into his bed ( don't frown.. I know it is not right.. but I had to.. and I am happy I did..) he caressed her.. kissed her hands.. told me she was great.. the most beautiful baby he had seen..
and a few days later he was comatous again.. days later .. coming to work.. I first visited my dad.. he opened his eyes.. and said .. they tell me not to go.. they tell me to stay.. they even tell me I can't go.. but they don't know how is to be in love with Saime ( this is my mother's name ) .. so I have to go.. then he smiled at me .. and slept again..
I thought.. he was delirious.. but in the afternoon.. the doctor who was taking care of him.. came to my room .. to give me the sad news.. we had lost him..
after 6 months in the coma.. at the age of 84.. he died.. but did two most important things before dying.. he has recovered.. and known my daughter..
and announced the truth about love..
love is an ongoing affair.. he loved and worshipped the same woman for 48 years.. and went happily to join her..
our traditions about memorial days.. have some details.. you can do it in the mosque.. special prayers and reunions.. guided by the imams.. you can come together at home .. and pray together with your family.. or you do it by yourself.. praying alone..
but one thing is a must.. it is the preparation of helva..helva is a dessert prepared with butter.. flour or semolina.. sugar and milk.. and while you are browning the flour or semolina you pray.. if there are many persons attending to the ceremony.. they all take the spoon and stir while praying.. passing the spoon to another one..
I like to do it all by myself..
today coming home.. from work.. I started to make my helva.. and prayed and thought about him.. he was a master cook.. and I never was able to do the helva .. as he did.. I never did helva before my parent's death.. and they were not there when I had to cook.. each time I tried to.. it became a disaster.. or it was very sticky.. or not browned enough and smelling funny.. or over cooked..
finally my brother came to my rescue..

he gave me a turkish cooking book ''in english'' and there was a helva recipe in the book.. I thought it has to be very informative to teach people who had not seen nor eaten helva before.. and I tried the receipe.. It is great.. it is as perfect as my father would enjoy eating.. or the recipe is ok ..or I have finally mastered the art of making helva afyer all those years..

so this is the memorial day of my father..
and as you can see I am in a funny state of mind..
I miss my parents.. prayed for their soul.. and now my helva is cooling down.. getting ready to be served.. and all people who will eat it.. will say '' Allah kabul etsin'' which means.. ''let God accept''..
accept our prayers.. thoughts.. our mourning..

in our belief, more people eat and say.. let God accept.. more his soul will be blessed..

so maybe you will join us.. have some..

red is in the air..

2006-12-25T06:56:00.000+02:00

red is the colour of the season..

red hair..
not totally red..
flashing red in a hidden part.. that I made visible for you..
overall it is a ''ton sur ton'' brown.. light brown...copper.. some blond..
under these quite sage and natural five shades of earthy colours.. here is the colour I love..
when I shake my head it appeares ..
I notice.. people's eye following the move.. '' what was it.. I tawt I thaw not a putty tat.. but some red..''
It amuses me..

we have a special new year flower in here.. In Istanbul.. these are the KOKINA (kokeena) as they are called in Istanbul.. it means red .. it is in greek language.. and the small red clusters of fruit are from an evergreen bush.. they are collected and tied in a bunch.. then tied on the tip of the branch of another evergreen..the tradition dates back .. to the byzanthine times..

now I can sit and enjoy..my bithday is past..
I have received beautiful.. emotional messages.. from you.. from my friends and family..
gifts.. and have had dinner with my family.. in TGI Friday/ Etiler..
I have felt loved and cared..
and even spoiled..
here we go on the countdown for new year..
I made a list.. and some shopping.. but still have lots to complete..

merry christmas

2006-12-24T09:34:00.000+02:00

good morning..

merry christmas every one..

I wish you.. the best..

back to blogging..

2006-12-22T09:01:00.000+02:00

I had some hard times..

wanted to stay away from all people.. and hobbies..
reading and writing..
avoiding all contact.. physical..and psychological.. and emotional..

3 dates are coming consecutively at the end of december..

my birthday..
my father's death..
and a new year..

I always felt awkward at this time of the year.. but this year..it was more troubling..

I am getting 50.. It is not the getting older part.. but getting 50.. makes me feel as if sitting at the top of my life and looking down..

it is not a good time for making the list of what you want.. or what you want to do.. and more important.. what you wanted to do in the past.. and couldn't..
or maybe it is..

this is the list-making time of the year.. for most people..
gift lists..
wish lists..
achivement lists..

but this year it became the list of my life.. couldn't stop it..
none is very nice for me..

there are too many things I have missed..
I don't feel creative to create gifts for people I love..
I don't even feel creative enough to think about what to buy for them..

the tree is lonely..
my daughter has bought her presents and put them under.... and that is all..

the kids feel awkward too..
they are used to have an accumulation of gifts under the tree.. increasing every day ..
they check it out.. and go away shrugging their shoulders..

I got lost in thoughts for hours.. but I mean it..
I feel as waking up.. when someone talks to me..
or the phone rings..

I make long rides in the city..
take the longest way from home to work and vice versa..

I don't feel depressed.. no.. just want to stay alone..
and motionless.. and emotion-less..

During my last ride.. the light was beautiful.. cristal-clear.. and the view of bosphorus was unique..
all those houses by the side of the sea.. constructed at the end of 19.th century.. enduring all those times.. and still living.. and full of energy under the winter sun..

I had to take the photos.. to capture the moment.. my moment of evasion.. from daily routine..
and from being me..
then.. I asked myself.. what do I not like in my life.. trying to evade..
and I couldn't find.. anything I would like to leave behind.. and forget..

Shame on me..
and therefore.. I came back.. uploading those pictures.. and confessing where I have been..
and promessing I will be here.. back soon.. with the same living energy as before..
I have lists to prepare.. to catch up..
crafts.. maybe not soon.. but will come..
writing.. is good for arranging your ideas..
even better than thinking.. at least a more objective way .. and you can catch up.. without getting lost..
so.. now I will make my lists..
and will get my birthday memories.. my redhair..as requested by Sandy.. on the blog as soon as I finish the list making..

Until then..
thanks for visiting.. and leaving comments.. you all are so graceful..

decorations.. shopping.. red reflections..

2006-12-12T08:02:00.000+02:00

went to Xmas shopping..
to Akmerkez.. one of Europe's largest and

award winning shopping malls..

fairy lights down..

fairy lights up..

stylish black feather tree..

the yummiest tree complete with a rooster candy top..

falling stars

I know it is just to tickle our shopping instincts..

could not resist the dreamy athmosphere..

made some frivolous shopping.. especially from the luxurious underwear shop.. =))

to go with the red reflections in my hair.. which is new as well..

parents.. can make you win the Nobel Prize

2006-12-09T14:30:00.000+02:00

emotions.. and perceptions..
are all due to our relations with our parents..
is it true.??.

in so many ways..

did you watch the Nobel prize speech of the turkish writer.. Orhan Pamuk..

did you also read about the reactions about him winning the prize.. being on trial ..
in his country..
nothing I can say about the trial..

just an indian proverb..
do not decide about a man.. without wearing and staying in the man's shoes..

politics.. are not making us human..
emotions do..
he insisted on making his speech in turkish.. he has a fleuent english.. graduated from american college.. nowadays leaves in the USA..

and did not mention any of the political comments..
just emotions..
if you want to listen ..
what makes us human.. have a look..
there are links to many languages..

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/2006/pamuk-lecture.html

my secret gift

2006-12-07T09:10:00.000+02:00

sshhhh.... here is a secret.. my first gift.

having children ..reveils the observer and philosopher in you..
do you remember the days when your child had total confiance in you.. when your words were upon everything.. remember the pride in his voice when he recited '' my mother told me that..''
did you notice that unfortunately it changed soon.. and was replaced by the famous '' my teacher said that..'' with the same pride in his voice .. you were just getting used to this rivalry that it changed again .. and became.. ''my friend told it ..'' this time topped by '' defence'' in the voice..
did you you feel falling apart from your kid .. a feeling of being thrown out from his universe..
did you ever feel.. your child is becoming a stranger.. he has talents or properties you never thought about..
I do..I remember going to a school meeting and the art teacher of my son saying..'' he is gifted.. soo talented''.. and me trying to remember when I saw him last ..drawing or painting anything ??
he paints?? the teacher went on.. I have chosen him for a special project.. the results will be on an exhibition at the Archeology museum..??..
we went to the exhibition .. and I noticed the small but perfectly shaped figures I saw at the back of small parcels of paper.. behind the books.. and was moaning about .. about ..being tidy.. and clean.. did I take his artwork as scribblings?? I saw that ..he is drawing like miniatures.. small but in all details..
I decided to motivate him.. but he became frustrated.. I wanted to send him to drawing classes.. he resisted..but kept on these scribblings..
a friend of mine told me to buy him a drawing notebook.. the smallest size.. so that he could carry it around.. and draw whenever inspired.. I did.. he used it as a note book but never as a sketch book..
I let it go.. last year he asked me anothor sketch book.. and this special metallic drawing pencil.. and also the soft eraser painters use .. I did not know that these materials even existed.. but I understood that he is still interested in.. but not showy.. especially to me..

he is an interesting boy.. heis father bought him a guitar.. he let it in the corner for 3 yrs.. this year he said.. I want to learn how to play it.. and now.. he doesn't stop playing =))
this year during the hollidays.. he decided to walk over the small mount perching the beach.. prepared himself a backpack.. and departed.. when back.. he had a gift for me.. the panoramic view of the two beaches..
the photo at the top is this one.. he still goes on drawing and throwing... small sketches.. I try to keep them.. hide them.. and this week I have found the perfect gift for him.. ''drawing art in all details''..this is a simple but inspiring book..
I hope he likes..

silver.. pearl and violet..

2006-12-05T21:38:00.000+02:00

and .. this is how it looks finally..
I know boxes were not as beautiful as the tree.. I also took a close up.. because the photo does not show the colours perfectly.. I love all these lilacs..purples..and pearls.. it looks shiny..
the little box below.. is a chocolate box.. emptied in half an hour.. from the moment it came in the house.. but goes well with the colour.. and hides the electric wires..
and shall I share a secret.. my first gift is bought.. I went to D&R a mega bookstore for the last issues of some magazines.. and there it was.. an art book.. for my son.. as he doesn't read this blog.. I will post a picture of it.. tomorrow.. as well as one of his own drawings..

I also started to embellish the corners of the home.. this year it will go on every day..
this is the corner of the dining area.. I don't have a mantle.. so here is the mirror mantle.. =))have some other ideas to add to it.. if I can.. and on the table is an antique shop find.. glass flower vase.. round and stylish as I am.. the red leaves and the red seeds were collected during the weekend walk..in the forest and in the arboretum.. birch tree leaves.. flashing red and orange on the back.. hope they will turn in a purplish look when dried out.. I put them in the vase along with some decorations.. my angel looks as happy as a garden fairy.. lying on the leaves..

I.. have too many ideas about the house decorating and cooking and about the blog.. and posts.. that my head is buzzing.. I need a few more of myself..

I have finally started the new year gifts.. crocheted hot water bottle covers.. 10 of them.. pray for me.. to be on time..my daughter decided she did not want the black poncho.. but a very long vest instead.. so these are left on needles.. and therefore I am free to crochet..

how are your projects going.. ??..

decorations..and addiction..

2006-12-05T07:24:00.000+02:00

didn't I tell you I have a lot of them..

and every year.. new additions.. this year some are from Ikea ( how romantic looking were those pearly ones and the diamanted ones..and some soft shiny ones.. shoe and tree shaped ones .. are a gift from my friend..toghether with some cristals she has hand made for me.. lilac and clear cristals..

I believe I have a softpoint for pleasure..it can turn out to become an addiction .. happy I never tried drugs.. I would never let go.. mine are harmless addictions..

when I love something..which means the feeling something gives me.. I need to have it all the time..soft toys once.. coffee .. from sunrise to dawn every moment I am awake .. a music .. the same music on a special cd.. I play it over and over again.. until it goes under my skin.. go to bed with it in my head.. get up with it..coats and shoes.. every woman loves shoes.. but I am like the wife of this asian dictator.. more than 1000.. well not because I don't live in a palace but.. the triple of all the family.... books.. never have enough of them.... craft material .. to see my stock you would be shocked.. I have yarn from my university days.. vintage yarn.. did you ever hear it.. Xmas decorations.. plants and decorations for the garden..the garden shop man-- sees me more often than my family.. during spring..mom said.. that if given some oney I would insist to swallow the bee.. =) it did not change.. maybe controlled a bit..

you should wait for such a woman to be able to fell in love.. and get mad about the object of her desire..

well this never happened.. =) ..I liked mostly the '' waiting for..and trying to see.. period'' after we came to know each other.. the magic vanished.. I know I know.. it vanishes in time.. but mine goes in a flash..

this reminds me a story of my mother.. In 1944 when she was a very pretty yaoung woman.. she went out with her brother.. and they met a friend of him.. she knew him by sight and liked him very much.. handsome man '' she said '' later.. and they went to drink lemonade at a coffee shop alltogether..

the poor guy must have his mouth dried in the presence of my mum.. he drank his lemonade at once.. and asked another one..

later my uncle.. asked her what she thinks about his friend.. she said..'' nothing.. not worth'' but he is very nice .. and handsome said my uncle.. '' he drinks lemonade too fast.. and she never accepted to see him again..

I mean it is not the lemonade that matters.. there is something that you didnot fancy to be that way.. and you have a deception when this happens.. and you turn your eyes for another not spoiled object ..

decorations never do that.. they don't deceive.. they are what they were in the shop when you bring them home .. shiny.. silent.. beautiful..

do you have a harmless addiction ??

tree finally decorated..

2006-12-03T18:28:00.000+02:00

some things never show their ages.. but your's..
this decoration dates back to 1970 when I was a teenager..

this is one of the decorations I bought for my first new year tree..
It is called the new year tree.. in my country.. I am born on the 23 of december.. and we left school half day.. that day coming back home.. I only had the radio.. to keep me company.. and this is the memorial day of a turkish hero..and there were hymns and sorrow all over the place.. It is my birthday .. and my mother is not home gone working.. friends are at school.. radio is playing.. sorrow..
I said to my dad.. I want a tree.. to decorate.. he looked at me.. went out to the garden.. cut some branches of a pine tree.. and with some piece of wood he first build a construction.. then he attached the branches over.. and a small shabby tree was ready for me.. and we went out to buy decorations and lights..

I would still have all of them.. if some years ago a help did not push my tree and crash all of them ..as they are made of glass.. they all broke.. but two.. it was after my father was gone.. so I cried a lot when they broke..
every year after that first year ..I bought some decorations.. but they are none of them as precious as these.. and new trees..sometimes real ones.. to be planted in the garden later.. but now that I really don't have time to choose trees.. and plant later.. I have bought a fake one.. but none is a conversation piece as the first one was.. and every year.. I decorate my tree on 23 of december.. but this year I was taken by the Xmas athmosphere reigning on the blogs.. and yesterday evening I have put it up .. and decorated.. this year the colour scheme is purple .. silver and white.. so red is not fitting in..

but this is my ceremony.. to put the two spared ones.. at the top of the tree.. side by side.. and think about my mum..and dad.. and later.. burn all the candles.. switch off the lights.. turn on the tree's lights.. pour myself some wine.. and have a silent moment.. to remember them.. and tell them once again thanks for all their tolerance and rigidity.. empathy and criticism.. support and sarcasm.. as all parents have to do .. at some times.. for their love and belief in me..
at whom do you think when you decorate your house??..

Pope visiting .. why wouldn't you..

2006-11-30T07:57:00.000+02:00

I feel awkward to tell you frequently about my city.. but I have an excuse.. it is beautiful.. and The Pope is visiting .. I am a studious girl.. so this is an occasion for me too to read a bit more about the history of places I already know.. but being a blogger I decided to write about it too.. and share.. under one condition.. when the Pope or some other important visits your country.. you have to study..and tell us about these places.. so we will all be able to think and understand about ..

he will visit Sultanahmet Square today..this place is situated inside the old byzantine city walls.. and facing the open sea.. the port.. the commerce centers are and were always situted there.... and of course this part has been and still is one of the most important parts of the city for all ages..
During the byzantine empire.. it was the hypodrome area.. where they made rallies of old days.. there were two groups the greens and the blues.. and these had even political power.. the two team raced in small cars and it was turning to quite a bloody end sometimes.. the big royal palaces and the big churches were there.. here is general view..

the pride of this place are the two neighbour buildings.. the Hagia Sophia.. Ayasofya in my language.. and the Mosque of Sultanahmet ..Saint Sophia which is not dedicated to St Sophy as believed but to ''Holy Wisdom'' was built on 360 AC.. but has perished many times.. and the last building dates to 537 .. during the reign of Justininus.. the dome was a roman.. but placing a dome on a rectangular building has never been attempted before.. and never again after.. this was a trial of architecture.. the aim was to prove the power of the byzantine emperor to the world..but the structure was not right and the dome was so large that the walls which carried it ..bended by this weight..and it has collapsed a number of times and had to be restorated a number of times.. which costed great amounts of money..finally on 1453.. when the ottomans conquered the city.. Mehmet the Conqueror.. has had his religeous 'namaz' sevice held in here.. another show of power.. but the bulding it was in ruins..the head architect Mimar Sinan.. was ordered to renovate it.. and has added some external walls to prevent collapse.. four minarets.. and it has been converted into a mosque.. it was converted to a museum.. after the republic was founded..by the orders of Atatürk.. and still is a museum.. the dome is beautiful.. and large as I mentioned..and it is happy to see that the mozaics remained all these years..The same Fatih the Conqueror.. he killed himself to stop one of his soldiers destroying a marble cover within the church..in order to find a hidden treasure .. this was a very clear message.. to whoever thought of destroying..

there are many beautiful mozaics.... dating back to the 9th.. 12th century..this one below is Jesus Christ coasted by the empress Zoe..and emperor Konstantin Monomaknos..who is 3rd husband of the empress.. and the writing over the head and the head itself ..of the emperor which was dating back to the first husband were scraped and changed after their marriage.. and the mosque of Sultanahmet.. known as the blue mosque.. It is the only mosque which has 6 minarets.. and at some angles you can only see three .. they superpose each other..
and the dome .. and some of the walls are covered by Iznik tiles .. very renowned for their intricate design .. mostly bue..therefore the name.. and has lots of botanical patterns on them..
the dome and arches .. are beautifully shaped..

this is all for the Pope.. half an hour in the Hagia Sophia.. 15 minutes in the Blue Mosque..

but there are so many beautiful things around he misses.. the Egiptian obelisc.. the serpentine column.. the palaces.. and other museums dating from thousands of years..this place is also a social center for people.. parks.. cafés.. and lots of special restaurants are making this place a favorite one for us.. not only for the tourists.. the best meatballs of the city..are made in a restaurant at the square is there.. for us on sundays.. autumnal walks in thousand of years old streets.. and parks.. filled with centennial trees..

walkng there..you feel as though you could hear the whispers or even shouts of all those people.. who reigned.. had fun.. had strikes.. died and loved in this old city.. this is the city's soul..

Istanbul had been and still is the most important aim of those who look for power.. but she never cares.. like a beautiful lady .. she has her own lifestyle and interests.. she remains.. the others are gone.. will be gone.. one day..

as I always say.. art remains.. beauty remains.. everything else.. is transitory..

photographs from sunday and the church of St Esprit

2006-11-28T08:43:00.000+02:00

this is the photo I took.. of the ceiling of the small chapel.. new theater..

and the two others are the photos of the same ceiling at the exposition.. they are taken by professional photographers ... I can see what it means being a professional artist.. you add something.. colours in this case.. use a different angle ..it looks so different..
this is the door of the grande salle and chapel photo taken by me...

and the followings are from the exposition again..light and angles.. I must remember this..

could you notice that the glass over the door is shaped like a lit candle..
I did..but only when I saw this photo.. not during the 30 years before..
I have gained a new respect towards photographers.. they show you the details of your life..that you have skipped..

le cour des glycines.. The garden of glycins..

and the church St Esprit.. seen over the garden wall.. this is where the Pope is coming for the morning prayer on friday.. this is a beautiful latin catholic church build on 1836.. and there is a beautiful statue of St Benedict in the front closed garden.. this must be the reason of choosing them.. this specific church..
for me this is the third church I have known as a child .. the first two were on the main street.. near my parents house.. they were one Armenian Surp Astvazizin.. and one Greek .. Hagios Georgios.. facing each other..then came the one next to my school.. my friend used to go in and lit candles.. before some exams.. and I went with them.. then I grew up and discovered .. that Istanbul has many churches of different origins.. mostly Orhodox but lots of them..

there are two things I like to do on weekends during spring one is ..to join the guided tours of old city of bizans.. and the second is to go to old parts of the city and visit the ancient buildings..churches.. this gives me a feeling of being a tourist in my city..

today the Pope is visiting the house of Virgin Mary and the Church of Virgin Mary.. in Selçuk.. and tomorrow he will be here in Istanbul..

nice weekend.. nostalgia.. and centerpiece enjoyment..

2006-11-27T09:26:00.000+02:00

I had a wonderful weekend.. on saturday.. went to the wedding of a friend's daughter..
I was with my husband.. because the bride's father is a good friend of him too.. and the bride's mother.. is my friend for 38 years.. our schoolmates were there.. most unaccompanied.. they were sitting in rows.. a group of beautiful ladies.. sitting the same way we used to sit in the classroom..
what do we do here?.. how can we become mother-in-laws.. and don't remind me .. soon grannies..
she was the first bride.. amongst us .. and her daughter is the first bride of our children's generation.. and after the coctail.. I heard the girls ( my friends) were going to pub-crawling.. so I left my husband at the parking place ( he is the sweetest man).. and we went to Pera .. with my girlfriends.. to celebrate.. our mature ages..
our happiness and sadness as all weddings make us feel..
wine and raki.. lots of turkish cold and hot plates.. no man to stop our laughters nor tears..

Sunday there was the show of the documentary of my high school in the new theatre build in the Grande Salle and Petite Chapelle .. my school dating back to 1856.. the documentary called ''150 years of a country..viewed from yhe windows of a school'' was fascinating..they made a really good job in research .. going to Vatican to the center of the foundation of Notre Dame de Sion.. and going through the archives.. the letters of the nuns reciting the last years of the Empire and the building of the republic.. I have photos and notes.. this is for another day..

coming back home.. so filled of relaxation and energy.. I re-arrenged some details in the living room..
the white lace-like metal tray and combined candle holders from saturday trips.. and bits and pieces from the thrift or antique shops I love to visit..the angel from another saturday.. hortensia flowers from the garden.. finally came together and made a nice centerpiece for the coffee table..
the leaf shaped lamp parts were waiting for an inspiration.. and the glass flower was broken part of a vase I saw at the antique shop.. they didnot have the vase but the part =)) and I happily accepted their gift..as they insisted I should take it..and it has the same colour with the hortensia.. green.. plum.. faded and romantic.. some candles with the same colour.. I love how the light shines on the glass parts..
with some Xmas decorations added..it will take pride until new year..and some fresh flowers will bring spring in..
another reason for a nice cuppa..

how was your weekend??

art remains.. life is short..

2006-11-24T07:57:00.000+02:00

no crafts but some photos that came to my e-mail.. I wanted to share..

photos..of the city where I live..

to everyone.. his own nest.. city.. country is dear.. But Istanbul becomes dear to anyone who sees..

there is no city like it..

no city can hug all.. traditions of hundreds of years.. and modernity.. mistiscism and technology.. in one grasp..

the east and west meeting.. this is the description everyone makes.. well it maybe right .. but not enough to tell about it.. or her let us say..because.. Istanbul is referred as a beautiful and immoral lady by most of our poets..

there even was one saying

'' cover up ..you mistress

cover up..yes you city..

cover up.. and sleep forever..

you woman of all men..''

when he wrote a poem about Istanbul in fog..

the silhouette is not the same as in my childhood .. now it became undescribable.. can you believe these so different views.. being intertwined.. so nice.. and so harmoniously..

the view from the port of Karaköy.. on the seaside ..on the right is the Dolmabahce Palace.. last residence of the Ottoman Emperor dating from 19 century.. now a museum..and on the left is the Dolmabahce Mosque .. .. and look behind.. this could be Manhattan ..
the bosporus bridge.. at the sunrise.. when we return to Istanbul from any trip.. we have to cross the bridge..and if this happens in the morning.. at the sunrise.. it seems as though the sun.. is rising in you..in your body..and the golden orange light reflected by the sea is projecting from inside towards outside from your proper body.. you fill up with energy..
the pointed tower..is the Galata tower dating back to 1300 .. has an interesting story..the name 's origin.. and the purpose of built are not for sure.. .. it is told it was build as a lighthouse..or a fire controle tower.. the name Galata may be originated from the ''Celts '' who resided in this area for a while during Bizantyne Empire.. or to the words 'gala' and 'galatas' from greek language meaning mikl and milkmen .. or from 'Caladdo ' of italian ( genovese ) language meaning uphill..

living in Istanbul.. makes you more researching.. and fatalist at the same time.. even history has indecisions.. so you seek out for the truth.. the past.. you can dig as deep as you wish.. and never come to an answer for sure..and when you never find it.. you understand that nothing stays on earth as it was meant to be.. and that what is important is to stay where you are.. trying to be the best thing around.. standing proud..and waiting to be discovered one day..

the Topkapı Palace.. another residence of the Ottoman Emperors.. build in 15th century..

as the parts of the city just behind this palace is full with old historical buildings the silhouette is not pierced by high buildings.. so when you stand in the middle of the beach.. and look to the left .. you go back in time.. and turn your head to the right.. there lies the future.. isn't that wonderful to caress the eras of human existance on earth at one glance .. you would wish to be a part of it.. time machine.. is Istanbul.. back and forth.. forth and back.. in a glace..

and if you are in the middle of the you will also see this the giel's tower.. with many mithological tales.. and still you'll never know why who and on which purpose someone decided to build it..

can you believe that this city which 1500 years old has been struck by 2 invasions.. the crusaders..and the ottomans..

by two big earthquakes.. many fires.. and kept so many of his art.. and beauty

what you learn in my city.. is that.. life is the only important thing.. what you try to achive will be past.. in a few years.. conquerors.. even emperors.. don't leave anything but art behind..

debates and wars.. will be gone.. forgotten.. harming just those who lived it.. but not leaving a permanent sign..

as they say.. ars longa.. vita brevis.. the art remains.. and life is short.. we can add.. even history is not reliable..

so live.. enjoy and keep creating your art..

houses .. doors.. emotions.. and a book to read..

2006-11-22T08:02:00.000+02:00

I have a special relation with houses.. I have changed 5 during 17 yrs.. and even I buy or rent.. I decided the same way.. I fell in love with each.. did even not finish to visit them.. it was a love on first sight.. and in this condition.. love on the doorstep..
one of my favourite bloggers..tongue in cheek finds always beautiful ways of showing us the importance of life.. takes care to sharpen our sight and vision.. with her words.. and her photos..
and frequently.. she has door photos..
I asked her today if she ever thinks about the symbolism of doors..
I have lots of door photos myself.. doors.. walls and windows..
I believe windows and doors are like the face of human.. no I don't mean the eyes and mouth symbolism as in the children's naive pictures.. more than that.. they have expressions..
they can be happy.. satisfied.. interested.. hostile .. sad.. friendly.. or real in pain..
the one below is a very jovial door from old Datya.. an old stone house.. and the door has a very interesting stucture..
the dark part just above the opening is made of a log.. I know well I hit my head on it =))

I read somewhere that painting your main door red.. makes the visits to your house less frequent because it is an alarming colour.. well not this one.. I think it mostly relates with the shape of the door.. that one is so friendly.. you want to push it.. and step inside..
a hand carved .. once loved.. now less popular.. tired one
an arty one.. there is such a detailed work on the wood and the hand.. it shows you the power of the owner.. makes you think he is a nice and rich man.. I say nice.. because of the choice of the shapes on the wood.. so fine..intricate but not over-powering.. and rich.. beacause of the height and rich materials.. this must be the house of an harmonious family.. good relationship.. slamming ( you can't easily slam a door this big and heavy)

but there is none that impresses me like these left ones..
I don't know the reason of the stones in the middle of it..
of course it is to avoid intruders.. and to prevent hazards and accidents..
but why stones.. may it be.. to stop the whole structure collapsing.. because they are all wooden supports for the walls above the doors and windows.. and if not used or left empty they may collapse ??
but whatever the reason.. they touch my heart..
I think about the joy and good intentions .. with wich the construction began.. a new family nest is being build.. songs were süng during the construction.. meals were eaten in group..during the resting hours.. furniture were placed.. lives lived.. and then left behind.. who was the last person to get out of this door.. did he leave it open.. or lock it with care.. why did they not sell it.. or deconstruct it.. are there any hopes that he fills with life and human emotions again..
I read a novel this summer .. from a turkish author who leaves abroad and write in english (then translated to turkish.. it must feel funny being translated to your own language).. Seven Houses.. it was the story of the occupants of a house.. told by the house..a story of a few generations of the family..it was dreamy.. I wish you could read it too.
this is a strong book which pushes you start to visualise your house .. as a person.. with emotions..
and it had a stronger effect on me.. as I already had that feeling ..
how about you.. how do you feel about houses.. and your's.. what story do you believe your house is telling to complete strangers
ps.. w.i.p. black bolero goes on.. will be finished in a few days.. still no photos.. =(

one ''use what you have ''project.. one question.. help please..

2006-11-20T11:44:00.000+02:00

I love to do these small projects.. done on a small place.. preferabily sitting in the armchair.. watching TV.. and can be finished in one day..
this handbag is one of these.. made on a sunday.. It was a pattern shown in Marie-Claire Idées.. of last winter.. it was beige.. and made of felt.. with a fabulous feathery embellishment.. at the front.. the overall lok was like a doctor's bag.. with a short handle..
I did not have any felt.. and still don't have.. but had a divine thick wool fabric.. kind of fabric used for winter coats.. and it was in my favourite colour.. plum.. so I had hand - drawn the pattern on squared paper.. and cut it.. then sitting in front of the TV.. hand sew.. all.. I used back stiches.. to make the handle that attracted me.. and was the reason of my decision of making it..I needed two rectangular metal accessories which I did not have in stock.. so I rummaged in my box of ''miscellaneous things ''.. ( yes that is the label of the box..) I used the hanging parts of old drawer pulls =) .. hiding the part in which the screw went.. in the fabric..
the feathers were pulled from a clear vinyl inflatable cushion filled with purple feathers.. it had a hole.. so we could not inflate it anymore.. but for the sake of the purple feathers I had kept it.. ( I know they look mostly indigo.. but it's the light of the flash.. it has a plum colour in reality..and matches the colour of the fabric)
and I used a fabric covered button.. from an old suit.. in the middle of the flower pin .. after adding small glass beads on it.. as well as all alond the stich lines..
when you are addicted to a colour.. it is so easy to colour-match everything..
I love these kind of projects.. never needing to go out .. to collect material.. a real.. use what you have project.. I also made a beautiful lining.. in silk paisley patterned fabric with lots of candy colours and purple of course.. but I forgot to take photos of it..
this is my perfect winter.. evening bag of the moment.. soft.. shiny.. baroque..

the next photos.. are posted.. because I need your help..
as anybody has an idea.. of what it is.. a friend of mine bought it from a second hand shop.. she just liked the shape.. and details.. she asked me what it is.. well I cannot specify.. but I thought this could be a censer .. but the others I had seen had chains.. and I had never seen any one-sided wooden handle on any censer.. when you grab it from the handle it becomes very unstaedy to carry.. so what the handle is for.. and what is this for.. anybody any idea ??

saturday programs .. with a teenage daughter..

2006-11-17T11:32:00.000+02:00

saturdays are my day off.. not from work.. but from the family.. or should I say were..

as my daughter grows.. she is spreading into my life.. and into my saturdays..

when I've got married..and had my son.. I was working until late in the evening..all week days..and on saturdays .. and sundays were spared to my family..

try to understand I got married when I was 32.. and before I had all my days to myself .. at least after work hours.. after a couple of years I felt exhausted by this routine and announced that I had to.. I wanted to.. have some time for myself..the only availble solution was to spend the saturday afternoons .. a few hours of it .. for myself..to be able to enjoy.. all the small details of life that make it 'your's.. so I went to see my girl friends.. went out with them.. went to concerts or movies my husband did not want to.. and my son was too small to come with me.. I went shopping.. to beauty saloon.. or just walked peacefuly..through this beautiful city.. saturday was my day.. my 14.00-18.00 schedule..my decision..

and I was coming back home.. having missed them so much..my husband and son.. I kept saying..this is good for me..so good for you..and it went on ..all saturday afternoons.. after work.. until this year..

my daughter is a very social girl..and wants to have a social life with me too.. she wants to have special..mother-daughter times.. with me..and as she has her ballet lesson on saturdays at a dance school .. very close to my work.. we have now.. saturday afternoon programs.. sometimes..as she likes.. sometimes as I like.. and today looking through my photos.. I noticed I have started to collect a whole bunch of saturday photos..

the sunset..beauty was enjoyed .. on the highway.. wo week ago.. coming back from Ikea.. where we went to see the new Christmas decorations..we bought a lot of them.. plus the purple bedcover to go with her room barcode designed wall.. no more pinks for her =(

these were taken with the camera of my phone.. no security endangered.. as the traffic was heavy..

this one below..is the window of the antique shop next to the ballet school.. the ballerina at the back was her.. and the liquor bottle was my favorite.. but the store was closed.. so we have to check again next week.. on the first row.. are antique turkish coffee cups.. which are smaller than ordinary coffee cups.. even smaller than espresso cups.. and much thinner.. I should have a look at them too..
last saturday I drove her to a friend of her's birthday party.. and spend the rest of the time.. with my friends.. in Paul.. yes we have an original french bakery in Istanbul.. hasn't the world become so small.. my coffee had a heart shaped mousse over.. and the best and smallest buttercake was a courtesy of the bakery.. nice addition to my coffee..
they kept the decoration quite similar to french style.. and I love it.. especially the light shades.. the details are not seen but they are in crunchy 'taffetas' .. can you believe that I send.. a lightshade maker.. to whom I had ordered the new shades for my house.. to Paul.. to drink a coffee and have a look at these.. and create the similar effect for me.. =)).. coffee on my charge of course..
and this is the department store which I like to visit.. any time.. Pabetland .. and it is a turkish home design center .. it has two floors.. the ground floor is mostly accessories.. and modern design..and the second is .. oh so traditional- continental furnitures.. but the setting is just like a house.. you don't see the stock but decorated parts.. with dining tables as if set for the guests.. even the candles are lit.. the beds are half open as though it waits for you to get in and curl.. It inspires me .. I always get back home with a small package and big ..big ideas .. the photos are taken from the coffee shop situated in the hall.. just by the silk flower department.. it makes you feel as if you are overlooking from a garden into the shop.. and I must say this is the only adress to eat lemon meringue pie in Istanbul..

a woman must know these special places.. where?..what? details.. and must teach her daughter.. this is refining.. and I start to totally enjoy it.. shaping up the little lady..

this saturday we are planning to listen to a concert of classical music.. and then .. yes.. you have guessed right.. go and have some drinks and pastries..and chat about the week.. with my daughter..

what will you do on saturday??.. whatever is your program.. I hope you enjoy it very much..

flowers.. vases.. and love affairs..

2006-11-13T07:50:00.000+02:00

I love my garden..
It keeps my heart and soul in peace..
I was born an grew in a house with a huge garden.. and my dad was the keenest gardener I have seen..
but I was not wise enough to learn things from him..
and when I get married .. we moved in an flat with a small balcony..
that is when I learned the value of my father's garden.. and years later.. we finally moved to house with a garden.. well it is slightly larger than a deck.. but suits me.. I can spend time.. play with my plants.. and enjoy the seasons.. and remember my dad.. try to figure out how he did things in the garden.. but my gardening is mostly remembering fondly my dad..
I like to make all places interesting to look at.. this chair was found by the curb.. all it needed was a paint.. I choose a pinkish purple.. the colour of my hydrangeas.. and I placed all my zinc accessories over and around it.. the long vase is planted with what you call baby breath and we call 'love-stairs' .. it is barely visible.. as a rounded elevation.. from the top of the vase..this photo is dated from begining of July 06..

a close-up.. will verify if I remembered the name right.. tiny heart shaped leaves..

and this is how it looks now.. you can understand why it is called love stairs.. they go down.. and the leaves look like small steps.. but what I am interested.. is how beautifully it filled the pot.. and how decorative it looks now just under the window of my dining room.. there are 5 candle holders.. some french some scandinavian looking.. and when I lit them my window glows so warm..

and my hydrengea flowers.. are now inside too.. they dried in e fine pinkish puple colour.. and now fill up my new porcelain basket.. yes the white porcelain collection grows up.. It was love at first sight.. a basket to go with my little girl..

and the flower details are so fine.. roses and simple petal flowers.. I thought it was french.. but ..it was made locally.. has a fine crackle detail.. and the colour is a light pink-cream..
well this is the way I live.. sometimes very rarely.. I need things.. for a while.. I am very practical with these.. use it.. be nice to it..and dispose it.. but often.. I fall in love.. suddenly..because of one look.. one word..one bud.. one colour or texture.. and can never live apart.. this small basket.. will be always in my life.. among with others.. and will receive a compliment.. care.. a new place sometimes.. new flowers.. and will always feel.. loved.. and cared.. as all objects and people I am in love.. and devoted.. in my life..

night..tales..in Istanbul..

2006-11-09T08:55:00.000+02:00

this was the view last night.. and some of the details of the view..

but these are for you.. for me..

the view's interest for me was my friend's beauty.. this is unbelievable how a bunch of scared, tiny, shy little girls.. turned all out.. sumptuous women..

we have blonds.. redhairs.. dark hairs.. we have thins.. and chubbies.. but we all have this.. je ne sais quoi.. this must be about being sure of herself.. which was a little disturbant when we were 30.. because we were shouting .. I know.. and so was our body language.. but now.. we are getting 50.. and we have a special charm..because we start to know now ...that it is not knowledge but experiences..that create a special YOU.. I would never believe it some years ago.. that woman of 50 could be soooo attracting..

well we were.. as the male interest around us was quite high..

but no chance this night.. we were to ourselves..

we went to school together.. a school of hard to cope..strict rules..

a classical french education.. and we had just ourselves to withstand .. if you don't use the right pen.. you get a 0.. (you fail) even if you wrote all the right answers.. you had to be responsible of bringing this pen.. with you..in that classroom.. at this special time.. having studied was not enough..

you were not getting a routine control for homework.. and you could be controlled any time of the year.. so you didn't forget to have it with you.. your responsability..

and you don't stay in the classroom.. during the breaks.. this is called recreation time.. so go out and recreate yourself..

you don't let those pencils fell down.. the inside breaks.. and it is not a responsible behaviour..

you don't run in the corridors..

my daughter goes to the school I went .. well after 35 years.. I was waiting for a PTA meeting .. and here come a group of girls running.. surprise I said to myself.. they have changed.. but suddenly they braked.. yes it was not a slowing down and stopping act.. it was braking just like in the cartoons.. and one whispered.... slow down now.. Mme Silva will go mad .. the director's office was near.. but the door was wide open and empty.. the shadow of rules ..still there..

no crying.. shouting.. or overwhelming from the teachers though.. did you see the movie Devil wears Prada.. Meryll Streep is the perfect example of the nurses who were our teachers.. whispering commanders..I don't know how they managed to make their discipline being accepted.. so calmly.. this must be their secret..

I remember.. Mere Marie-Berthe.. the superior nurse and director of the school.. coming into the classroom.. saying.. I am looking for someone..intelligent and responsible.. Pinar come with me..

this was my day.. how can you afford not to be intelligent and responsible anymore..

school days.. I have so many memories.. maybe because of them..

maybe because of this discipline.. or maybe because we were special.. but 26 of the 3 girls.. we keep seeing each other.. always.. and we have reunions.. every three weeks.. at those I can't go.. everytime.. because I work late sometimes.. but the evening getherings.. have no excuse..

I have to say..two of us.. are getting mother-in law.. yes two of our daughters are getting married.. we will start to become grandmothers.. in-imaginable.. because we are childen still..

she was happy.. to be with us.. to have her gift.. we were happy.. she was so healthy after this illnes.. that we hope will never come near her.. the only moment we were a bit silent was due to the waiter..

the waiter who served us.. a bold, fat, barbed guy.. said this is my mother's birthday as well.. and someone asked.. oo how nice.. how old is she.. 49 was the reply.. and we stared .. just like that..

this fat..bold..barbed man could be our sun.. you are joking don't you.. he is looking as (I hate to say) old as us.. =((((

so this was the moment.. the only sad moment..

we will live forever.. telling school jokes.. laughing as high as we were laughing when 11-12 yrs old.. will always look young.. and simple to each other..

because this is life-long friendship..

I love you girls.. love you for being.. mine..

and what about you..do you meet you childhood friends..??..

tarte tatin

2006-11-08T17:08:00.000+02:00

the second of the cupboard bases has been covered and this one has a frilly border.. now the indoor plants have their own stand.. this is my view from under my tree.. and the permanent chess play is seen on the lower corner.. I say permanent.. because this is our new lifestyle.. after dinner.. socialisation time for the family.. no sitting and looking at tv.. we have chess- playing sessions.. and yesterday my daughter check-mated me for the first time.. she was as proud as a peacock..

as for crafts.. I am looking for sweaters.. she also ordered me a short ballerina's sweater in black.. to wear over her ballet suit.. with a velvet corsage..

I love to try new recipes and succeed.. I am an expert of choosing easy but elaborate looking recipes.. that one is my latest addition.. have seen this tarte tatin a l'oignon.. in the magazine..
easy as abc..

shallots.. into the boiled water.. for 15 min .. then peeled.. and off to the frying pan..along with some olive oil.. butter..honey.. cumin.. curry.. when pinkish.. divided in small baking pans.. topped with puff pastry.. 15 min in the oven..
can you believe this styish serving has been so easy to prepare.. this is yesterday's story.. tonight I am going to a special girl's party.. we are celebrating the 50th anniversary of our schoolmates.. it is funny how we feel still 11.. and behave as the little girls we were when we started this french school I mention from time to time.. we have so much fun.. we are going to a terrace restaurant at the Pera Street which has a view on the Bosphore.. the girl's tower.. and up to the Topkapi Palace.. tomorrow I will write you more about my school and the night..

what do you have or do for dinner tonight?

Mere Miriame, Brueghel, and the flag..

2006-11-06T09:34:00.000+02:00

TO LİVE
AS SİNGLE AND FREE AS A TREE
AND FRATERNAL AS A FOREST
NAZIM HIKMET RAN

I read a lot.. I really read a lot.. and read it all .. books.. mag's articles.. medical reports.. and all sort.. psychiatric, psychological, social, horrors, novels, essays, memories, travel journals, blogs and comments.... in three languages..
I believe reading opens a beautiful new frontier to you.. no one can have so many experiments.. of all kind.. but you can.. if you read..
I love the power of words.. I believe they tie humans to each other.. they tell about love. peace.. belief..eternity..history..but as all powerful things they have another face too.. they are powerful dividers.. and can stop your breathing.. or give you immense pain.. or frustrations..
I am an enjoyer.. not because life is offering us lots of things to enjoy.. the world is getting crazier every minute we spend.. wars.. man killing.. crimes against children.. animals.. ecological changes.. brutal city life.. less empathy.. more rudeness..

but I force myself to see things to make me happy and grateful of who I am.. and how I live.. I don't have to look far.. there are two wars going on next to the border of my country.. and another one going on for years.. too many lost lives.. lost loved ones.. lost memories.. but looking at other people's loss and misfortune.. comparing and being happy.. is not possible.. this is not what I mean by being grateful.. We have to try to find those small details..
but when you succeed to see in the details.. you find things to enjoy.. the smell of baking cake.. voice of chatting and laughing children.. art created by beautiful hands and beautiful minds..
there is a saying in my country.. the one who sees the forest doesn't see the tree.. the one who sees the tree doesn't see the forest.. and that is true..

I sometimes read the newspapers and think of those paintings of Brueghel.. we had a class at high school.. a lesson without a name.. no school paraphernalia was needed.. just us and Mere Miriame.. she was showing us slides.. made us listen to classical music and we talked.. we were a group of young girls.. muslim.. jewish.. catholic and orthodox.. she prepared us to life.. now I know she meant it.. we were talking about how to behave.. and see in the details.. she showed us Sacré-Coeur's painted glass rosaces.. in the company of Moonlight's music.. and I still remember her telling us.. at a moment music was getting cheerfull '' can you see the moonlight glittering on the lake.. there it is''.. and I can swear.. I saw.. she was the one who showed us this painting of people gethered around a huge dining table.. such a joyful setting and colours..but she showed us that.. when you look closer.. you can see vulgarity in the details..

this is the real world..

I read a french blog today.. the post of the october 29th.. and the comments.. about turkish nation being a military one.. and a lover of flags.. and about having Mustapha's Posters ( by this he named Atatürk the founder of the republic) everywhere.. with his adressing to the turkish youth written on..''to protect the republic is your primary responsability''..

and of course I thought of the flag on my blog.. why and when did I put it on the template.. it was the day Pamuk won the Nobel prize.. and the french parliement discussing about ... you know..

this is a craft blog I know.. and I love my crafts.. I love to share them with you.. my crafts and my life here in Istanbul.. and I love .. to read each of your's daily life..

but I am a crafting .. woman.. and a human.. and I have thoughts..

what pushed me to put the flag on this blog..

I believe very deeply.. that.. flag is a symbol in my culture.. a symbol..of very hard acquired things.. like liberty.. and republic.. and democracy .. and being a person..

the flag is the symbol of a new founded republic.. that Atatürk and only him.. could dream about.. and made a gift to us.. turning ordinary people from being simple believers.. obeyers..and servants of an emperor.. into a nation who has rights.. human and citizen rights.. learning rights.. choosing rights.. woman rights.. travelling rights..

do you know that in the preparations of traditional wedding.. two things are given to the bride to take to her new home.. the flag and the Koran.. two very different and high symbols.. you can understand the meaning of Koran.. such as the Bible.. the Old Testament.. to not to forget our belief and moral.. I keep my father's Koran and my mother's flag together..in my closet..

the flag is the reminder of what we have.. and want to keep.. freedom..and democracy..

I always thought that if Turkey was at another geographic site.. this would be different.. for example in Scandinavia.. I know Finland is a young republic.. but lives peacefully from then.. between peaceful neighbours.. fully concentrated on being happy. civilised and productive.. they are not as alert as us.. because having such quarelling geographic neighbours.. makes you alert.. and the islamic countries rejecting laicism and european countries rejecting history.. makes you a sole sheep.. no peaceful herd to join..

and so is.. the politics of the country.. the islamists.. threatening the democracy.. not the republic.. there are islamic republics as Iran you know.. but I suspect that this is a true democracy.. ask to the women..

so we have only our hearts and our flags.. to keep us strong.. the flag doesn't belong to the army or state.. it belongs to us.. each of us..

5 yrs ago.. there were not so many people with flags in the streets .. at the celebration of october 29th .. because we felt more secure.. but nowadays.. we feel the urge of taking our flag and join the celebration .. this is our treasure.. something like what the worn nightgown of a mother is to a baby.. it is soothing.. pacifying..

this is not a military.. or nationalist symbol.. this is a way of remembering.. a man's dream.. a man's aspiration for higher ideals.. not for himself but for a whole nation.. a nation he had created.. and guided.. and listened to.. and advised.. to see better days.. I know that my country has never been capable of telling about himself.. with all the tradition.. language.. and historical differences..

so today I wanted to share.. why sometimes I feel sad.. ( that Sandy.. such a love.. understood and told in such a nice way..) I wanted to explain to you.. the reason of the existance of the flag..

is only to remind me.. that I am a proud woman.. not proud because of the internal or international politics of my country.. or a blind worshipping of my nation.. but I am proud because.. I am one of those followers of one of the best persons.. leaders.. of world..a foresighted..honorable men.. who believed in us.. who relied on the youngs.. and advised them..

''do not believe and take this republic as granted.. you will always have to care about it.. ''

I am a simple woman.. with the highest responsability.. the one of being aware.. and alert.. because I am in charge of my family.. children.. like all of you.. and of the future of my country and my republic.. very different from you..

and the purple collection..

2006-11-05T13:43:00.000+02:00

and these.. are the gifts for purple lovers..

I ask to myself if it was a good idea to look through lasy year's collection..

I start to get confused.. for the gifts..

that is all.. now I get .. a deep breath and here I attack my stocks.. ready to go..

yesterday.. there was snow.. in Istanbul.. so early for us..

so it is a good time for starting warm crafts..

and.. today is a bright sunny day.. but cold.. freezing cold..

have a nice sunday all..

keep crafting.. and enjoying..

in need of inpiration.. more schawls and scarves...knitted..

2006-11-04T09:49:00.000+02:00

here are some more.. beige and moss green and cream.. one by crochet.. which was quite easy.. and finished quickly.. the same yarn.. knitted this time.. and has lines knitted with a different one.. a thick dark green.. cacao coloured tufted yarn.. and frills.. I love the frills..
another tweedy one.. with a keyhole and dark chocolate ribbon and sequin decoration.. a little sparkle adds so much to a simple rectangle.. catches light.. takkes attention.. and that is needed.. attention I mean..

now this was a set for a friend.. very fine degraded vison coloured mohair yarn .. knitted as a rectangle.. with a vison coloured lace .. and the sides and corners of the knitted piece turned over.. beautiful.. double sided.. scarf.. this one too has some sparkle at the front.. and it was easy to knit but difficult to finish.. and had a yaoung sister.. a mobile bag..
I look ..I look through my idea files.. but cannot decide.. should it be knitted and embellished handbags.. forthe ladies.. or should it be.. hot water bottle covers.. embellished of course ?? help..??

New year's party.. gifts.. scarves and schawls..

2006-11-03T13:35:00.000+02:00

while I was looking through the photos..to see how my tree last was year.. and this ..because I like to change the overall effect ofthe house and the decorations each year..I found this photo.. last year we had a beautiful.. happy.. cheerful family reunion on 31th of december.. and when I say family.. it is a big one.. we were 20 .. to celebrate the new year..at my house .. and this one is taken.. after we gave our presents to each other.. and all these ladies are sitting.. wearing their scarves.. and hats.. knitted by me =)) I am there too.. can you guess which one??
sure..I am the one who is not wearing a scarf.. and here are some of the stuff.. this one has gold reflections and fur pompoms.. and the colour..suiting both the season..and the person.. she loves red..

this one is for a young and sport-chic lady.. my niece who lives in London..and who was in İstanbul with her husband and daughter..for new year.. this is a tweed-like yarn which I loved to knit..
and it is embellished by silk flower petals.. sewn byhand one by one..to form a flower shape..and decorated with small beads.. the borders are delineated by a frilly ribbon..and she looked pretty wearing it..
I was very happy with the result.. and I am not so sure now..if I will be able to make as many and different things this year.. go on Pinar.. think think think..??..
there are some more.. these for tomorrow..

Chrismas present planning time has arrived..

2006-11-02T08:30:00.000+02:00

I caught a common cold.. followed by a laryngitis.. from the night walks of the celebration.. and I went to work for the first two days.. wearing a mask.. not to contaminate anyone..
the third day..yesterday..I was not able to stand up.. to get up out of the bed.. even to talk..
I stayed in bed.. taking lots of medicins.. drinking lots of liquid.. and sleeping most of the day..
last night was a bit better.. but whenever I walk a few steps.. I feel all my muscles shaking.. and a palpitation in my chest.. I feel weak.. so I will stay in bed today too.. maybe reading some.. or looking at mags.. But first Ihad to look up at my mails.. because I am waiting for an important message.. which has not come..
then I visited some of my fav blogs.. just a tea drinking time.. and will go back to bed.. but before.. I have to share.. visiting the blogs I noticed everyone is quickly passing from the halloween mood.. to X-mas mood.. that is why I love autumn.. so many occasions of getting inspired.. preparing goodies.. making handwork..handcraft.. and when one occasion finishes..another one is starting..
I have lots of gifts to prepare..for New Year .. for a couple of years I try to prepare handcrafted gifts to my circle of friend and family..
last year I made neck warmers for all the ladies of mine.. I designed each one thinking of their way of getting dressed.. colours they preferred.. styles.. I was going to the yarnshop .. and was starting to look at all the stuff they had..and they have lot and lots of kind of yarns..I was looking from a distance.. as though visiting a picture gallery.. to be able to notice the yarn which whispered to me a name..of a friend.. happy for me.. that the shop next to the yarnshop has all these embellishment materials.. sequins.. fur trims.. ribbons.. lace.. whatever you name.. you can get inspired in such a place.. and when the design came in front of my eyes.... I started to buy all the material.. I was the best loved and respected buyer of the shop.. they were cheering up when they saw me.. I even have some stored beatiful stuff from these shopping days.. packed with the yarn.. ribbon.. floss.. and sequins.. like ready - to - make kits..
and I knitted through the whole New Year preparation season.. this one was the last.. the one I made for myself.. we have to give gifts to ourselves too.. don't you think so??

it was a very thin mohair yarn .. I knitted it with large needles.. to make it as fluffy as possible.. although it has a very fine texture.. it keeps very warm.. and is so soft to touch..and has frills on both ends.. and it is surrounded by sequins.. which are not as shiny as they look on the photos.. so can be used during the day as well..the knitted frill is surrounded by a ribbon frill as well.. in the same colour as the yarn.. if you look close you can see on the third photo.. under the sequins..

I hand sew the ribbon.. and the sequins.. which means I gave myself a pretty fine detailed.. handcraft as a gift.. =)) What did you give to yourself??

This year I am preparing some other cuddling gifts for my friends and family..

I hope they will enjoy using them.. as much as I will enjoy preparing them..until I finish some.. I will show you some more of the presents of last year..enjoy all the X-mas season..

boooo...hoooo...

2006-10-31T07:40:00.000+02:00

happy halloween....to all.. boooo hooooo says my ceramic carved pumpkin to you..

we don't celebrate Halloween here.. only in some shopping centers.. just as an activation.. but it seems so fun.. for the kids especilly..that I wish we had..
last year we had a Halloween Party at home though.. did I ever mention that my niece.. who is now living in London..is married to an american whom she met there while studying at LSC.. ..
well their mother.. had decided to move in Istanbul.. she didnot want to go across the ocean each time she wanted to see her children.. thought of somewhere in central europe first..never about England as the weather did not suit her rheumatisms she said.. but when she came and stayed here sometime.. she decided to settle down .. in Istanbul.. last year Halloween was on a Sunday.. and my son said he wants to try to carve one of these pumpkin faces.. so while we were chatting and carving..we thought of Barbara.. and invited her to a Halloween Party.. which she accepted..
and we had so much fun.. she was so happy.. but no kid came and asked candies..
=(
well we shared a memory.. she is not here just now.. so no party for us this year..
enjoy.. Halloween..

regretfulness.. can be a name of dessert..

2006-10-30T13:45:00.000+02:00

do you believe in the power of language..definition.. idioms.. sayings.. and naming..nicknaming..I do.. I believe that.. language is a living substance.. varying.. developping affected by the history.. of daily living.. and that is why it is very difficult to translate some local things.. as food.. or used objects.. because.. there is a whole history behind..how can you translate the idiom.. throwing out the baby with the water.. if you don't know how english people were living.. in medieval period..all this information.. is needed.. because I am eating pismaniye.. ( you can read it pishmaneeyae)..

I looked at the dictionnary.. where it is translated.. as candy floss or cotton candy.. which is a totally different thing..so I decided to use the local name.. and some photos to visualise this...ooo so yummy..
nasty calorie-bombe.. as a german friend of mine kept saying while she was eating turkish desserts..
the name means.. regretfulness.. it is believed to be originatied from Persia.. where it was named pesmek.. but it also believed that the name pişmaniye was due.. to the difficulty of preparing it and keeping the right texture.. and that people who tried to do it.. were regretful when they understood how hard it is to succeed ..the name differs throughout the country.. it becomes.. palace Halva.. or the stretch halva.. or the flax halva..it is not known for sure ..how and where it originated from.. and spread to the country.. but the most believed story is that one.. in 1600 some armenian cooks.. who came from Armenia and Persia to the Marmara Sea region.. and settled down there.. have started to make and sell this..
the ingrediants are 3 of the modern white poisons.. butter.. sugar.. and flour.. and a couple of strong arms.. and lots of tips and expertise.. they first cook the sugar and water.. then add some lemon juice.. the result is a taffy-like consistency ..it is then poured in a circle shape.. on a cold marble table.. flour and butter..precooked together..until they became pinkish.. is poured in the middle of the circle.. and the two are processed together.. by more then two or three people.. they take the sugar taffy and pull it hard.. as though playing cord-pulling game.. the flour mixture..and the sugar mixture have to be mixed to each other by this continous pulling motion until they get fluffy..
and you don't mind how many calories you take.. at the moment you put this delicious dessert in your mouth.. ans you think..who has to be regretfull the one who eats it.. or the one who doesn't eat it.. this is a sin.. to eat or not to eat.. well I don't regret at all as I don't sin every day.. would you??

29 october.. foundation of the Turkish Republic

2006-10-29T11:39:00.000+02:00

29 of October is the foundation day of the Turkish Republic... 83th year of republic.. following nearly 700 years of Ottoman Empire.. and numerous wars.. the invasion.. following the 1st World War.. and a last Liberation War..

this year the celebration was flooding with light.. I was at the Dolmabahce Palace.. now a museum.. former emperor's residance.. by the Bosphore.. viewing the Bosphorus Bridge.. the view and the atmosphere were fantastic.. there were concerts.. taking place on the sea.. and slide projections on a globe shaped screen.. and there was a crescent moon.. I hope you enjoy the photos.. as much as I did enjoy the celebration..

the turkish public is very sentimental .. about these celebrations.. the crowd was a real mixture of all ages.. grannies were more agitated than the teens..

they had tears in their eyes at some moment.. as they remember these old days.. of chaos.. insecurity.. being members of such a young republic.. they had responsabilities.. and they all are fans of our founder ATATÜRK who is a man of vision.. of passion.. always dreaming of better life for the public.. I know he is not comparable to no other leader.. because of his attention to detail.. in all means..

that is why he is such a loved leader while he was alive.. and even after 68 years of his death.. this is not taboo'ing or worshipping.. this is missing and loving in all senses that we feel towards him..

enjoy your weekend..

maybe you can enjoy this link too .. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/144261/turkish_anthem/ a little girl of 3 yrs old telling the turkish anthem of 10 quartrains..she is cute..

the belly dancer's purple dress

2006-10-28T09:21:00.000+03:00

yesterday I was looking at BBC prime.. they have a program.. a week of dressing dangerously .. it is about questionning your personality.. life.. and wishes.. that one is a bit different than changing your life.. wardrobe.. decoration.. programs we usually see..
to participate it you have to accept to wear some really out of standart things.. in your daily routine..
the lady in the program.. was a middle aged.. blond haired lady.. with a few surplus kilos.. mother of adolescents.. widowed..or divorced..( I missed that) .. working in a hospital..

as I started to watch.. the program had alredy started.. what I saw was a lady in white T shirt and jean.. an adolescent and another lady.. in red short front-long tailed jacket .. the kind the french call jacket-a-taille.. and black shorts.. filet stockings and..knee high boots.. looking like those people who work in the circus..
and they were in the middle of a park.. making picnic and talking..
she said.. I don't know about myself anymore.. I think I am not a person who attracts interest.. I am boring.. and so I surrounded myself with women.. good friends.. but I missed going out.. she was asked to describe herself.. from her point of view.. she could not say.. I am a woman.. and the program-person.. said
- can you say.. I am a female?..
she answered
-yes definitely.. a female..
but no more adjectives did she find.. for herself..

I know this self description thing very well as we live in a multi ethnic cultures country.. last year there was a trend of describing yourself.. if an example is needed.. the most flashing I remember.. was my jewish friend's description of herself.. she said.. I am turkish.. from Istanbul.. from Nişantaşı ( Istanbul has a different life style from the rest of the country that is why she cited this.... and the other name is the most trendy and luxurious part of the city..like St Honoré Blvrd..of Paris..) jewish..woman.. divorced.. jewellary expert.. mother.. woman..
you see the importance is the list making.. and to line up the list of the adjectives.. if you put mother.. in the first line.. a different person is described....

and this brilliantly dressed woman could not find any adjectives.. for herself.. just ''female''..
I saw her wearing a Kimono.. and going to the car mechanics.. she was freer though.. could talk easier with people.. without being interested at their face's schocked expression..
and the last day she wore.. you will not believe me.. a belly dancers dress.. purple.. shiny.. exotic.. and she had to wear it all day.. at this point I knew this was the subject of the blog today..
she went to her meditation group.. and to the shopping center.. people were so foolish looking.. staring at her.. un-believing their eyes.. but she became more and more happy..
and at the end she started to dance.. on the elevators.. she was happy to be noticed.. she was responding to attention.. and looked perfectly overt.. happy.. peaceful..
at the end.. she was interviewed.. and said that wearing those daring dresses.. affronting the placid citizens.. and being the center of attention everywhere she went .. changed her .. she wants to go out.. to be seen as woman.. to listen to her needs.. and to find out finally who she is..

well I thought about it a little more.. I remembered.. when I was younger.. and my son was still 4 yrs old.. a friend of mine told me.. he saw a family at the mountain where they went for skiing.. a family wearing similar hats.. with mom.. dad.. and kid inscriptions.. and said he was looking to buy the same.. I instinctly refused.. I was not only a mum.. nor should I wear a hat with a 'wife' inscription.. I have too many hats.. a person.. a woman.. a doctor.. a mom.. a wife.. a daughter.. a crafter.. a gardener.. reader.. coffee enjoyer.. a gourmet.. a cordon-bleu.. a wine taster.. a friend indeed.. a philosophe sometimes.. and I am happy with all of them but will never be happy only in one .. I need them all.. and no hat is big enough to have them written on..

and I also thought that .. we all have priorities.. important duties.. missions.. not to be delayed.. towards the people who surround us .. and with time running.. we start to ask to ourselves.. what people want from us.. our kids.. husband.. the boss.. or the co- workers.. and our mother.. and friends.. and our kid's teachers at school.. and we start to forget about ourselves.. the in_ ourselves.. the deep one.. this being always on duty.. is not enough to enjoy your life..

we have to ask her.. what do you want?? frequently.. what should I do to please you today?.. would looking through those new magazines please you better then preparing a high quality food.. a home made soup for the family?.. and give her what she wants.. take the magazines and order a pizza.. for once.. if we don't do that.. the voice inside will fade away.. and become unnoticeable..

everyone.. but yourself can leave us .. alone.. but the body and soul being one.. we can't... will it not disturb you??.. no need to fulfill.. no work to be done.. for no-one..
what is this silence.. what shall I do for who..??
you will have to visit yourself.. as visiting an old family relation.. and try to re-make acquaintenance.. this must be difficult.. this will be difficult to catch up ..

so before needing this purple belly dancing dress .. to find your-beautiful-self.. we have to try to spend sometime with ourself.. just ourself.. to not to forget how the woman inside this mother.. parent.. kid.. wife.. worker.. citizen.. is feeling..

I know my list of self-identification.. do you??.. I listen to Pinar's voice and needs.. do you?
enjoy yourself today.. make your list.. listen to yourself..

tree-house..or tree-in-the-house..childhood dreams..

2006-10-27T07:52:00.000+03:00

Hollywood has such a worldwide effect .. spreading dreams.. traditions..

I had seen so many movies.. starting from my early childhood days.. so many movies.. showing..the countyside life in the USA..

white houses.. with century old trees in the back gardens.. tree-houses.. serving as club houses to children of the neighbourhood.. and swings made of ald tires.. and swings.. over the verandahs.. where old ladies are sitting during the hot summer days.. drinking lemonade.. always finding the wise questions or answers.. to those who come in and out of the houses.. and at the late hours of the evening.. youngsters flirting.. waiting for late coming boy friends..on the same swings..

as a child I always wished to have a tree house to climb on.. for reading my book in the silence.. and keeping an eye over everything.. everybody.. unnoticed..

but I was an urban kid.. I must confess a lucky one.. because at the house we lived with my parents.. we had a garden.. big for the city.. envied bu most of my friends.. with apple trees.. pear trees.. roses.. lots of them..

and annuals perrenials.. some veggies even.. but it was a medium size.. and had no such big tree to have a tree house built in.. we had swings.. but no-tree house..

and I am a lucky woman.. living in the most popular part of Istanbul.. and having a small garden.. where I have apple trees.. a pear tree.. a few roses.. and flowers.. but no veggies..

but one special tree is very important to me.. My ficus benjaminus..

this was a wedding present.. and it was so small when it arrived at our first rented flat.. that it could be hidden behind an armchair.. with nothing left out.. 60 cm height.. smallish..

and it moved with us to everywhere.. for 17 years..

my house doesn't receive much sunshine during the day.. indirect light comes in in the early morning.. until 11 am.. and then it is shady.. good for the summer.. bad for the benjie.... so he is starting to shed his leaves.. 10-20 per day by the end of the winter..it seems as though he cries.. light .. light..

but when march arrives.. I put it outside.. under the rain.. and the sunshine.. and it starts to grow again..aved by the summer.. until next winter.. I took him in.. this sunday.. as it started to get quite cold during the nights.. then made myself a coffee.. and tried to place it in the living room.. it became so big.. in all those years he passed with us.. that I thought ... even if I did not have a house-on-a-tree.. I now have a tree-in-the-house.. =))

I placed two small armchairs.. and a chess table.. under it.. facing the armchairs.. towards the garden.. this will be fun to view.. the snow.. and the rain at the point of my feet.. and sitting warm and happy.. under my tree.. =))

if someone calls me ..

-mummy.. where are you??

-under my tree I will respond.. fun..

and it has decorations too.. home made.. windchimes.. that one is the one I love especially..

I made it by painting a 10 cm high flower pot in purple.. than sponge painting in white.. cutting some ivy leaves in air drying clay.. for which I used some real leaves from the garden.. as a pattern.. and I painted them.. in white.. when dry.. sticking some to the base of the pot.. hanging two of them.. from the base hole.. by a ribbon ( purple of course).. it looks sooo shabby chic..and is hung along with another one .. of which the decor is not ivy leaves but..flowers.. and a small candle holder.. in the shape of a birdhouse.. white as well..

if you are looking out for me.. I am under my tree.. so similar to my childhood dreams..

what were your dreams??

a new life.. for an old base..

2006-10-25T16:00:00.000+03:00

this is an old base.. of a bedside unit.. one of a couple.. my husband brought those to me.. and he .. asked me.. if I could use them.. and I said yes..yes..yes.... he asked me.. what for ??.. I thought of using them as plant stands..??.. or as a base for the wooden luggage I already had.. or something else?? .. they waited in the basement.. for a while..

today.. I was arranging the living room.. and folded all the throws.. then I tried to figure a place where to put this pile.. throws are very useful during autumn .. I love them a lot.. at the evenings.. when everyone likes to relax.. on the armchairs for daily chat.. or sometimes we read and fall asleep.. and.. you feel chilly.. or suddenly an urge to go out to the garden can appear.. and you need a throw.. I can find 50 ways to use throws.. so a throw is 'irremplacable'.. we are a throw family..
but I hate to place them on the arms of the chairs.. or to have them all around the place.. because it looks so untidy.. and I remembered the bases.. couldn't them be used as a low covered stool .. the idea started to get clear on my mind.. I had time.. as I am home.. with nothing else on my mind..
I dusted them.. covered the top with two layers of thick interlining.. and 50 cm of the remnants of the upholstry fabric .. stapled in place.. Ta Ta..

and a meter of braid I had.. remnant again from a former project.. to make the finishing..
now I have an ideal place to have them neatly placed and chic to look at.. here it is..the great free- fake-french.. on-purpose throw stool..where do you range your throws??..

a wonderful afternoon..in my garden

2006-10-24T15:17:00.000+03:00

do you know that breakfast is ''before-coffee'' in turkish.. we had guests for breakfast today .. I love having guests.. they make me feel how I love my house.. my life.. because when I share it with them.. I can see it better.. we had a huge table set in the dining room.. lots of laughters.. and chat.. we were happy to be together.. and then the guests.. took their coffee in the garden.....

my garden is in front of my living room-dining room.. I love it.. because it is an ever changing decor.. that seems to be just an extension of my living place..when I am home.. I open the sliding french doors.. and the curtains.. and this is my luxury.. there is no difference of outside- inside chez moi..

and I love following the changes of the view.. depending on seasons..

so I just made some tidying.. and decor change.. and now that they are gone.. took a few photos..

I enjoy the sepia quality.. it has such a vintage feel.. especially as my garden table and chairs are vintage..

now.. I am sitting alone .. at the deck.. with a glass of wine.. and with my laptop .. I turned on the music I enjoy so much those days.. a slow rock.. from the handsome artist I already mentioned.. and gave the link.. I like his voice.. soft.. as though he murmurs..

and some wonderfull scent is in the air.. and the sun shines softly between the remaining leaves of my pear and quince trees.. I feel so good..

I enjoy.. this afternoon.. all my senses.. do you ??

the sweet feast..iyi bayramlar..

2006-10-22T18:05:00.000+03:00

the seasons and feasts are important in cultures.. religions.. these make tradition.. and gether people ..
fasting is the education of the soul .. by trying not to do anything you usually do.. during daytime..for one months.. just to understand the value of the beauties that surround you.. and how you spoil yourself.. and how weak you are.. and to be thankful .. grateful towards our creator.. a thorough education of your soul..
you don't eat.. don't drink.. don't insult.. don't curse..don't look at people with anger.. ambition.. jealousy..
and at the end of this one month .. you celebrate.. and you spoil yourself.. because you have been so good.. and got your lessons..
this is called the sweet feast..
because.. people prepare candies..chocolates.. sweets for children.. and the kids of the neighbourhood are visiting every house.. even the houses of the persons they don't know.. and collecting their small presents.. and these sweets..
we also visit the cemetaries.. visit our families.. friends..
and this has to be done in an order.. starting from the older persons.. and this goes on 3 three days..
we prepare sweets as gift to take to places we visit.. or desserts..
for me and my family..it means lots of things to do.. starting from the early morning of the first day..
being up early is important.. and the breakfast is important.. my DH goes to buy a special pastry for this breakfast..and when he comes back..the table must be ready..
this has to be a rich table.. a beautiful set.. and while I try to get it ready.. kids have to wash.. and get dressed up ..in some new outfits.. and when their father is back.. they have to take his benediction and also receive some pocketmoney..
then we get out to my mother and father's and my husband's mother cemetaries.. we pray for their soul.. and for all who don't have anyone to pray for them.. we pay for their soul's rest in piece..
then we start by our oldest brother.. and staying for a short time in each house.. we tour the family.. you get older.. and you go out later.. to receive your visitors.. and the evening we all gether in my father-inilaw's house.. and this is a big meeting.. with the presence of children we are 20 people.. it is fun.. and you have to see the kids.. collecting pocketmoney from everyone..and sometimes.. trying to cheat.. and collecting several times from the same persons..
the second day is for visiting friends.. and receiving some reply-visits..
the third day.. just for resting..
we don't go to work.. altough I have to go and see some patients at the hospital..it will be a short stay..
here is my special tray for this BAYRAM.. my homemade liquor is ready.. and very tasty.. I finally bought the bottle I wanted.. and the small service glass.. is from my mother.. it is made of very very thin glass.. and very tiny.. and the soucoupe is a special one.. it is a lokumluk.. this is traditinally made to serve turkish lokoum ( known as turkish delight) .. and is special with its frilly borders..
come and visit us.. we will be at home on the third day.. for the inexpected visitors..and we will recieve them as our most precious guests.. you are wellcome to join .. enjoy your week..

cigarette-rolls..

2006-10-22T16:09:00.000+03:00

do you remember the cigarette-rolls I did some time ago.. this crisp and hot rolls are wonderful with tea.. or wine.. and easy to prepare .. and easy to store..
we have a feast and vacation.. for three days.. we celebrate starting from monday.. the holy Ramadan feast or the sweet feast as we call it in Turkey.. .. tomorrow I will write about this .. this will be mostly about traditions.. not the religion.... but today..I have preparations to do.. and the kitchen is the most important place for these preparations.. so I did some cigarette rolls.. and as I promessed Corey for the recipe.... I took also the photos.. for a kitch- instructional post..

the most important part.. is finding filo pastry.. I know these exist in england.. but no idea..about France .. filo sheets.. are hand made and precooked very thin pastries.. they are soft.. as fabric..
then you need eggs.. white fromage.. and lots of parsley..
you blend together the eggs..fromage ( which might be found under the names of feta or greek cheese) and parsley together..

and you cut your pastries in the shape of a triangle.. the base being approximately 20 cm..and the equal sides being 35 cm.. if you find round filo sheets.. you cut them in half..then into six equal parts.. and that will be the best shape..if they are rectangular.. you staudy geometry.. and find the best shape.. when everything is ready.. you take some fromage and put it to the base of one of your triangles..
you bend inwards the two sides of the sheets..
and start to roll from the base.. to the pointed part.. rolling quite tightly..

when you come to the end.. you dip the end ..the pointed part in water.. and finish rolling.. the wet end will stick to the body of the roll.. and will not dis-assemble when put in hot boiling oil..

the final shape is a thin roll.. here is the first one..

when you finish all..you can put them in a box.. and send them to the freezer.. they will be OK for 6 weeks.. if you say I will taste this immediately.. you have to fry them in a deep saucepan.. and in olive-oil.. or sunflower seed oil.. you put them directly in hot sizzling oil.. and fry both sides..until they get a golden colour.. be careful.. at the first bite..the inside is much hotter then the outside.. and be careful too.. because this becomes an addiction quite easily..

hope you may find the ingrediants..and try it..