Sunday, August 19, 2007

feeling.. listening..

good morning..
blog..
and friends..
hope you have a better weekend then me..

another awkward day..
making me feel like a stranger....
a tv channel has been attacked..
by people reacting to the name of a dog .. at a serial..
hüseyin..
this is common human name..
which also was the name of one of the chalifs..

hundreds of people went to the main building of the channel where many people were working at this time..
protesting.. shouting.. and they were stopped by police force..
who had to use gas bombs..
the channel has promessed to make excuses at the news .. and they went away..
the aggression of the crowds.. is becoming more prominent..
they disturbed me..
they stressed me..

access to the wordpress internet site was blocked by the turkish telecom.. for one day..
the director of wordpress declared ''I didn’t realize turkey had a great firewall like china. this is really unfortunate because we have a really passionate turkish community that gets about 12 million pageviews a month''

the freedom of writing/reading could not be that vulnerable..
if something wrong was detected.. warning could be made.. words.. against words.. not blockade.. not forbidding..

I.. who have explained to my kids..
even when they were 2 yrs old..
why they shouldn't do something..
for hours..
never.. saying forbidden..

yes..
I .. feel awkward..
I am laughing.. but inside.. I feel stressed..
tip of the iceberg feeling..
will I wake up one day
and see no access to the internet..
heavy censuring on the media..
I don't know..
this makes me feel unsecure..

otherwise..
in my simple personal life..
I am ok..
going out..
discussing with my young friends..
having lots of time with my kids..
working..
making preparations for school time..
dreaming about a late vacation to my summer house..

maybe I shouldn't listen to the news..
they affect me deeply..but then I wouldn't learn.. what's happening..
******

do you like the music..
this is a turkish rock group..
says..
I can't give my pain away to you..

we can't..
maybe we can share.. we can try to understand the reason..
but we can't give it away..

3 comments:

jessica said...

hello pinar,
thank you for visiting to say hello.
i feel the sadness in the music, the sadness in your words. the melody is pretty.
perhaps it is better not to listen to the news all the time. your spirit needs to rest from the negativity.
my arms reach out, way over to you and hold you dear one.

Cat said...

It was very nice to see words from you this morning. It grieves me to see the change you have experienced and are experiencing...
in your country... in your life... in your daily activities.
I can see you must find a balance. A balance that will keep awareness yet let you live without fear.

Faith, Hope, and Love,
Cat

Britt-Arnhild said...

I have been thinking of you ALOT during the past months. Never forget that there are people all over the world.....me from little Norway, remembering you.

Thanks for this post and for coming over to my blog leading me here again.