Tuesday, October 31, 2006


happy halloween....to all.. boooo hooooo says my ceramic carved pumpkin to you..

we don't celebrate Halloween here.. only in some shopping centers.. just as an activation.. but it seems so fun.. for the kids especilly..that I wish we had..
last year we had a Halloween Party at home though.. did I ever mention that my niece.. who is now living in London..is married to an american whom she met there while studying at LSC.. ..
well their mother.. had decided to move in Istanbul.. she didnot want to go across the ocean each time she wanted to see her children.. thought of somewhere in central europe first..never about England as the weather did not suit her rheumatisms she said.. but when she came and stayed here sometime.. she decided to settle down .. in Istanbul.. last year Halloween was on a Sunday.. and my son said he wants to try to carve one of these pumpkin faces.. so while we were chatting and carving..we thought of Barbara.. and invited her to a Halloween Party.. which she accepted..
and we had so much fun.. she was so happy.. but no kid came and asked candies..
well we shared a memory.. she is not here just now.. so no party for us this year..
enjoy.. Halloween..

Monday, October 30, 2006

regretfulness.. can be a name of dessert..

do you believe in the power of language..definition.. idioms.. sayings.. and naming..nicknaming..I do.. I believe that.. language is a living substance.. varying.. developping affected by the history.. of daily living.. and that is why it is very difficult to translate some local things.. as food.. or used objects.. because.. there is a whole history behind..how can you translate the idiom.. throwing out the baby with the water.. if you don't know how english people were living.. in medieval period..all this information.. is needed.. because I am eating pismaniye.. ( you can read it pishmaneeyae)..

I looked at the dictionnary.. where it is translated.. as candy floss or cotton candy.. which is a totally different thing..so I decided to use the local name.. and some photos to visualise this...ooo so yummy..
nasty calorie-bombe.. as a german friend of mine kept saying while she was eating turkish desserts..
the name means.. regretfulness.. it is believed to be originatied from Persia.. where it was named pesmek.. but it also believed that the name pişmaniye was due.. to the difficulty of preparing it and keeping the right texture.. and that people who tried to do it.. were regretful when they understood how hard it is to succeed ..the name differs throughout the country.. it becomes.. palace Halva.. or the stretch halva.. or the flax halva..it is not known for sure ..how and where it originated from.. and spread to the country.. but the most believed story is that one.. in 1600 some armenian cooks.. who came from Armenia and Persia to the Marmara Sea region.. and settled down there.. have started to make and sell this..
the ingrediants are 3 of the modern white poisons.. butter.. sugar.. and flour.. and a couple of strong arms.. and lots of tips and expertise.. they first cook the sugar and water.. then add some lemon juice.. the result is a taffy-like consistency ..it is then poured in a circle shape.. on a cold marble table.. flour and butter..precooked together..until they became pinkish.. is poured in the middle of the circle.. and the two are processed together.. by more then two or three people.. they take the sugar taffy and pull it hard.. as though playing cord-pulling game.. the flour mixture..and the sugar mixture have to be mixed to each other by this continous pulling motion until they get fluffy..
and you don't mind how many calories you take.. at the moment you put this delicious dessert in your mouth.. ans you think..who has to be regretfull the one who eats it.. or the one who doesn't eat it.. this is a sin.. to eat or not to eat.. well I don't regret at all as I don't sin every day.. would you??

Sunday, October 29, 2006

29 october.. foundation of the Turkish Republic

29 of October is the foundation day of the Turkish Republic... 83th year of republic.. following nearly 700 years of Ottoman Empire.. and numerous wars.. the invasion.. following the 1st World War.. and a last Liberation War..
this year the celebration was flooding with light.. I was at the Dolmabahce Palace.. now a museum.. former emperor's residance.. by the Bosphore.. viewing the Bosphorus Bridge.. the view and the atmosphere were fantastic.. there were concerts.. taking place on the sea.. and slide projections on a globe shaped screen.. and there was a crescent moon.. I hope you enjoy the photos.. as much as I did enjoy the celebration..
the turkish public is very sentimental .. about these celebrations.. the crowd was a real mixture of all ages.. grannies were more agitated than the teens..
they had tears in their eyes at some moment.. as they remember these old days.. of chaos.. insecurity.. being members of such a young republic.. they had responsabilities.. and they all are fans of our founder ATATÜRK who is a man of vision.. of passion.. always dreaming of better life for the public.. I know he is not comparable to no other leader.. because of his attention to detail.. in all means..
that is why he is such a loved leader while he was alive.. and even after 68 years of his death.. this is not taboo'ing or worshipping.. this is missing and loving in all senses that we feel towards him..
enjoy your weekend..
maybe you can enjoy this link too .. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/144261/turkish_anthem/ a little girl of 3 yrs old telling the turkish anthem of 10 quartrains..she is cute..

Saturday, October 28, 2006

the belly dancer's purple dress

yesterday I was looking at BBC prime.. they have a program.. a week of dressing dangerously .. it is about questionning your personality.. life.. and wishes.. that one is a bit different than changing your life.. wardrobe.. decoration.. programs we usually see..
to participate it you have to accept to wear some really out of standart things.. in your daily routine..
the lady in the program.. was a middle aged.. blond haired lady.. with a few surplus kilos.. mother of adolescents.. widowed..or divorced..( I missed that) .. working in a hospital..

as I started to watch.. the program had alredy started.. what I saw was a lady in white T shirt and jean.. an adolescent and another lady.. in red short front-long tailed jacket .. the kind the french call jacket-a-taille.. and black shorts.. filet stockings and..knee high boots.. looking like those people who work in the circus..
and they were in the middle of a park.. making picnic and talking..
she said.. I don't know about myself anymore.. I think I am not a person who attracts interest.. I am boring.. and so I surrounded myself with women.. good friends.. but I missed going out.. she was asked to describe herself.. from her point of view.. she could not say.. I am a woman.. and the program-person.. said

- can you say.. I am a female?..
she answered
-yes definitely.. a female..
but no more adjectives did she find.. for herself..

I know this self description thing very well as we live in a multi ethnic cultures country.. last year there was a trend of describing yourself.. if an example is needed.. the most flashing I remember.. was my jewish friend's description of herself.. she said.. I am turkish.. from Istanbul.. from Nişantaşı ( Istanbul has a different life style from the rest of the country that is why she cited this.... and the other name is the most trendy and luxurious part of the city..like St Honoré Blvrd..of Paris..) jewish..woman.. divorced.. jewellary expert.. mother.. woman..
you see the importance is the list making.. and to line up the list of the adjectives.. if you put mother.. in the first line.. a different person is described....

and this brilliantly dressed woman could not find any adjectives.. for herself.. just ''female''..
I saw her wearing a Kimono.. and going to the car mechanics.. she was freer though.. could talk easier with people.. without being interested at their face's schocked expression..

and the last day she wore.. you will not believe me.. a belly dancers dress.. purple.. shiny.. exotic.. and she had to wear it all day.. at this point I knew this was the subject of the blog today..
she went to her meditation group.. and to the shopping center.. people were so foolish looking.. staring at her.. un-believing their eyes.. but she became more and more happy..
and at the end she started to dance.. on the elevators.. she was happy to be noticed.. she was responding to attention.. and looked perfectly overt.. happy.. peaceful..
at the end.. she was interviewed.. and said that wearing those daring dresses.. affronting the placid citizens.. and being the center of attention everywhere she went .. changed her .. she wants to go out.. to be seen as woman.. to listen to her needs.. and to find out finally who she is..

well I thought about it a little more.. I remembered.. when I was younger.. and my son was still 4 yrs old.. a friend of mine told me.. he saw a family at the mountain where they went for skiing.. a family wearing similar hats.. with mom.. dad.. and kid inscriptions.. and said he was looking to buy the same.. I instinctly refused.. I was not only a mum.. nor should I wear a hat with a 'wife' inscription.. I have too many hats.. a person.. a woman.. a doctor.. a mom.. a wife.. a daughter.. a crafter.. a gardener.. reader.. coffee enjoyer.. a gourmet.. a cordon-bleu.. a wine taster.. a friend indeed.. a philosophe sometimes.. and I am happy with all of them but will never be happy only in one .. I need them all.. and no hat is big enough to have them written on..

and I also thought that .. we all have priorities.. important duties.. missions.. not to be delayed.. towards the people who surround us .. and with time running.. we start to ask to ourselves.. what people want from us.. our kids.. husband.. the boss.. or the co- workers.. and our mother.. and friends.. and our kid's teachers at school.. and we start to forget about ourselves.. the in_ ourselves.. the deep one.. this being always on duty.. is not enough to enjoy your life..

we have to ask her.. what do you want?? frequently.. what should I do to please you today?.. would looking through those new magazines please you better then preparing a high quality food.. a home made soup for the family?.. and give her what she wants.. take the magazines and order a pizza.. for once.. if we don't do that.. the voice inside will fade away.. and become unnoticeable..

everyone.. but yourself can leave us .. alone.. but the body and soul being one.. we can't... will it not disturb you??.. no need to fulfill.. no work to be done.. for no-one..
what is this silence.. what shall I do for who..??
you will have to visit yourself.. as visiting an old family relation.. and try to re-make acquaintenance.. this must be difficult.. this will be difficult to catch up ..

so before needing this purple belly dancing dress .. to find your-beautiful-self.. we have to try to spend sometime with ourself.. just ourself.. to not to forget how the woman inside this mother.. parent.. kid.. wife.. worker.. citizen.. is feeling..

I know my list of self-identification.. do you??.. I listen to Pinar's voice and needs.. do you?
enjoy yourself today.. make your list.. listen to yourself..

Friday, October 27, 2006

tree-house..or tree-in-the-house..childhood dreams..

Hollywood has such a worldwide effect .. spreading dreams.. traditions..
I had seen so many movies.. starting from my early childhood days.. so many movies.. showing..the countyside life in the USA..
white houses.. with century old trees in the back gardens.. tree-houses.. serving as club houses to children of the neighbourhood.. and swings made of ald tires.. and swings.. over the verandahs.. where old ladies are sitting during the hot summer days.. drinking lemonade.. always finding the wise questions or answers.. to those who come in and out of the houses.. and at the late hours of the evening.. youngsters flirting.. waiting for late coming boy friends..on the same swings..
as a child I always wished to have a tree house to climb on.. for reading my book in the silence.. and keeping an eye over everything.. everybody.. unnoticed..
but I was an urban kid.. I must confess a lucky one.. because at the house we lived with my parents.. we had a garden.. big for the city.. envied bu most of my friends.. with apple trees.. pear trees.. roses.. lots of them..
and annuals perrenials.. some veggies even.. but it was a medium size.. and had no such big tree to have a tree house built in.. we had swings.. but no-tree house..
and I am a lucky woman.. living in the most popular part of Istanbul.. and having a small garden.. where I have apple trees.. a pear tree.. a few roses.. and flowers.. but no veggies..
but one special tree is very important to me.. My ficus benjaminus..
this was a wedding present.. and it was so small when it arrived at our first rented flat.. that it could be hidden behind an armchair.. with nothing left out.. 60 cm height.. smallish..
and it moved with us to everywhere.. for 17 years..
my house doesn't receive much sunshine during the day.. indirect light comes in in the early morning.. until 11 am.. and then it is shady.. good for the summer.. bad for the benjie.... so he is starting to shed his leaves.. 10-20 per day by the end of the winter..it seems as though he cries.. light .. light..
but when march arrives.. I put it outside.. under the rain.. and the sunshine.. and it starts to grow again..aved by the summer.. until next winter.. I took him in.. this sunday.. as it started to get quite cold during the nights.. then made myself a coffee.. and tried to place it in the living room.. it became so big.. in all those years he passed with us.. that I thought ... even if I did not have a house-on-a-tree.. I now have a tree-in-the-house.. =))

I placed two small armchairs.. and a chess table.. under it.. facing the armchairs.. towards the garden.. this will be fun to view.. the snow.. and the rain at the point of my feet.. and sitting warm and happy.. under my tree.. =))

if someone calls me ..

-mummy.. where are you??

-under my tree I will respond.. fun..

and it has decorations too.. home made.. windchimes.. that one is the one I love especially..

I made it by painting a 10 cm high flower pot in purple.. than sponge painting in white.. cutting some ivy leaves in air drying clay.. for which I used some real leaves from the garden.. as a pattern.. and I painted them.. in white.. when dry.. sticking some to the base of the pot.. hanging two of them.. from the base hole.. by a ribbon ( purple of course).. it looks sooo shabby chic..and is hung along with another one .. of which the decor is not ivy leaves but..flowers.. and a small candle holder.. in the shape of a birdhouse.. white as well..

if you are looking out for me.. I am under my tree.. so similar to my childhood dreams..

what were your dreams??

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

a new life.. for an old base..

this is an old base.. of a bedside unit.. one of a couple.. my husband brought those to me.. and he .. asked me.. if I could use them.. and I said yes..yes..yes.... he asked me.. what for ??.. I thought of using them as plant stands..??.. or as a base for the wooden luggage I already had.. or something else?? .. they waited in the basement.. for a while..

today.. I was arranging the living room.. and folded all the throws.. then I tried to figure a place where to put this pile.. throws are very useful during autumn .. I love them a lot.. at the evenings.. when everyone likes to relax.. on the armchairs for daily chat.. or sometimes we read and fall asleep.. and.. you feel chilly.. or suddenly an urge to go out to the garden can appear.. and you need a throw.. I can find 50 ways to use throws.. so a throw is 'irremplacable'.. we are a throw family..
but I hate to place them on the arms of the chairs.. or to have them all around the place.. because it looks so untidy.. and I remembered the bases.. couldn't them be used as a low covered stool .. the idea started to get clear on my mind.. I had time.. as I am home.. with nothing else on my mind..
I dusted them.. covered the top with two layers of thick interlining.. and 50 cm of the remnants of the upholstry fabric .. stapled in place.. Ta Ta..

and a meter of braid I had.. remnant again from a former project.. to make the finishing..
now I have an ideal place to have them neatly placed and chic to look at.. here it is..the great free- fake-french.. on-purpose throw stool..where do you range your throws??..

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

a wonderful afternoon..in my garden

do you know that breakfast is ''before-coffee'' in turkish.. we had guests for breakfast today .. I love having guests.. they make me feel how I love my house.. my life.. because when I share it with them.. I can see it better.. we had a huge table set in the dining room.. lots of laughters.. and chat.. we were happy to be together.. and then the guests.. took their coffee in the garden.....
my garden is in front of my living room-dining room.. I love it.. because it is an ever changing decor.. that seems to be just an extension of my living place..when I am home.. I open the sliding french doors.. and the curtains.. and this is my luxury.. there is no difference of outside- inside chez moi..
and I love following the changes of the view.. depending on seasons..
so I just made some tidying.. and decor change.. and now that they are gone.. took a few photos..
I enjoy the sepia quality.. it has such a vintage feel.. especially as my garden table and chairs are vintage..
now.. I am sitting alone .. at the deck.. with a glass of wine.. and with my laptop .. I turned on the music I enjoy so much those days.. a slow rock.. from the handsome artist I already mentioned.. and gave the link.. I like his voice.. soft.. as though he murmurs..
and some wonderfull scent is in the air.. and the sun shines softly between the remaining leaves of my pear and quince trees.. I feel so good..
I enjoy.. this afternoon.. all my senses.. do you ??

Sunday, October 22, 2006

the sweet feast..iyi bayramlar..

the seasons and feasts are important in cultures.. religions.. these make tradition.. and gether people ..
fasting is the education of the soul .. by trying not to do anything you usually do.. during daytime..for one months.. just to understand the value of the beauties that surround you.. and how you spoil yourself.. and how weak you are.. and to be thankful .. grateful towards our creator.. a thorough education of your soul..
you don't eat.. don't drink.. don't insult.. don't curse..don't look at people with anger..
ambition.. jealousy..
and at the end of this one month .. you celebrate.. and you spoil yourself.. because you have been so good.. and got your lessons..
this is called the sweet feast..
because.. people prepare candies..chocolates.. sweets for children.. and the kids of the neighbourhood are visiting every house.. even the houses of the persons they don't know.. and collecting their small presents.. and these sweets..
we also visit the cemetaries.. visit our families.. friends..
and this has to be done in an order.. starting from the older persons.. and this goes on 3 three days..
we prepare sweets as gift to take to places we visit.. or desserts..
for me and my family..it means lots of things to do.. starting from the early morning of the first day..
being up early is important.. and the breakfast is important.. my DH goes to buy a special pastry for this breakfast..and when he comes back..the table must be ready..
this has to be a rich table.. a beautiful set.. and while I try to get it ready.. kids have to wash.. and get dressed up ..in some new outfits.. and when their father is back.. they have to take his benediction and also receive some pocketmoney..
then we get out to my mother and father's and my husband's mother cemetaries.. we pray for their soul.. and for all who don't have anyone to pray for them.. we pay for their soul's rest in piece..
then we start by our oldest brother.. and staying for a short time in each house.. we tour the family.. you get older.. and you go out later.. to receive your visitors.. and the evening we all gether in my father-inilaw's house.. and this is a big meeting.. with the presence of children we are 20 people.. it is fun.. and you have to see the kids.. collecting pocketmoney from everyone..and sometimes.. trying to cheat.. and collecting several times from the same persons..
the second day is for visiting friends.. and receiving some reply-visits..
the third day.. just for resting..
we don't go to work.. altough I have to go and see some patients at the hospital..it will be a short stay..
here is my special tray for this BAYRAM.. my homemade liquor is ready.. and very tasty.. I finally bought the bottle I wanted.. and the small service glass.. is from my mother.. it is made of very very thin glass.. and very tiny.. and the soucoupe is a special one.. it is a lokumluk.. this is traditinally made to serve turkish lokoum ( known as turkish delight) .. and is special with its frilly borders..
come and visit us.. we will be at home on the third day.. for the inexpected visitors..and we will recieve them as our most precious guests.. you are wellcome to join .. enjoy your week..


do you remember the cigarette-rolls I did some time ago.. this crisp and hot rolls are wonderful with tea.. or wine.. and easy to prepare .. and easy to store..
we have a feast and vacation.. for three days.. we celebrate starting from monday.. the holy Ramadan feast or the sweet feast as we call it in Turkey.. .. tomorrow I will write about this .. this will be mostly about traditions.. not the religion.... but today..I have preparations to do.. and the kitchen is the most important place for these preparations.. so I did some cigarette rolls.. and as I promessed
Corey for the recipe.... I took also the photos.. for a kitch- instructional post..
the most important part.. is finding filo pastry.. I know these exist in england.. but no idea..about France .. filo sheets.. are hand made and precooked very thin pastries.. they are soft.. as fabric..
then you need eggs.. white fromage.. and lots of parsley..
you blend together the eggs..fromage ( which might be found under the names of feta or greek cheese) and parsley together..

and you cut your pastries in the shape of a triangle.. the base being approximately 20 cm..and the equal sides being 35 cm.. if you find round filo sheets.. you cut them in half..then into six equal parts.. and that will be the best shape..if they are rectangular.. you staudy geometry.. and find the best shape.. when everything is ready.. you take some fromage and put it to the base of one of your triangles..
you bend inwards the two sides of the sheets..
and start to roll from the base.. to the pointed part.. rolling quite tightly..

when you come to the end.. you dip the end ..the pointed part in water.. and finish rolling.. the wet end will stick to the body of the roll.. and will not dis-assemble when put in hot boiling oil..

the final shape is a thin roll.. here is the first one..

when you finish all..you can put them in a box.. and send them to the freezer.. they will be OK for 6 weeks.. if you say I will taste this immediately.. you have to fry them in a deep saucepan.. and in olive-oil.. or sunflower seed oil.. you put them directly in hot sizzling oil.. and fry both sides..until they get a golden colour.. be careful.. at the first bite..the inside is much hotter then the outside.. and be careful too.. because this becomes an addiction quite easily..

hope you may find the ingrediants..and try it..

Thursday, October 19, 2006

changing furniture and accessories..

life is important.. and presence too .. for us as well as for the objects.. which have shared our life.. there are so many memories.. which have gethered within the cracks.. in the drawers.. under the covers.. I read years ago.. the rules of FENG SHUİ.. about old furnitures.. it said that they fill up with the energy that surrounds them.. it said .. that is why it is better not to buy hospital furniture from the thrift shops.. because they have absorbed all the pains which take place in the hospitals.. well there are so many healings too.. and hopes and condensed love..in the hospitals.. but yes ..mostly this place is related with sickness and pain..
and for furniture for which the origin is unknown .. it offered one solution.. and this was.. putting both hands on the furniture.. closing your eyes.. and trying to sense.. the feeling it gave to you.. if you felt good touching it.. then .. it is good sign.. sign that you can take this at home.. if no..leave it where it is.. how much you like the shape and how low is the price.. are not important..
I thought it was weard.. because before reading this.. I did exactly the same thing.. I love to go to thrift stores.. and there if I notice something I like.. I touch it.. every where.. not to control the broken parts or the defaults.. just to feel it.. and I can see in my mind.. the object in my home.. at the right place.. and I buy it.. if I feel nothing.. I leave it.. funny when you find some of your weard attitudes.. written as a rule..
according to this.. we pass some of our energy to our own furniture.. and our memories.. but we change our decors.. and they don't fit in any more.. I am one of those people who cannot give up .. cannot let go.. anything.. any people.. so..
I feel they deserve a touch up.. a disguise.. to fit in the new decor.. and not to be thrown away.. fidelity to our surroundings.. as well as to our memories..
this table has a history.. I was pregnant with my son.. married for 2 years only.. and we went to the carpenter.. to see how the cot we ordered was getting.. and there I saw this flip - top round table.. there was no varnish remaining.. but besides this.. was in perfect condition.. it has a round middle piece and three legs.. in the french Louis XV style.. I asked about the origin..because it looked old.. they told me an old lady.. who was moving away and did not have place to put this table in her new home..gave it to them.. saying they can use it.. or sell it..
and that they forgot it.. in a corner.. under the dust.. until I noticed.. while they were talking.. I was caressing the top of the table.. and I said..'' I want it''.. to my husband.. and the carpenter was so kind.. that he asked us to accept it as a gift for our son's birth..
and there he sits in my summer cottage.. painted in a very light french grey.. embellished with vintage seaside postcards.. and ship-trip announcements.. and antiqued by wax..it is very practical.. because of the flip top.. when I need more space in the room.. I can move it by the wall where it stands as a picture.. wonderful '' for a tea for two''.. by the window..
and the old and dirty wooden boxes are now vintage make-up boxes..on my beauty table..

this is a small shelf is special ottoman design for the big hats they were wearing.. the kavuk's.. that I use as a candle- holder..in my bedroom.. pared with some blue and white china photogrphy I cut down from a magazine.. it blends in so good with my bedroom's colour scheme....

and I love this tray.. this was a small metal tray.. tarnished.. and ugly.. but some decoupage-crackle-and antiquing made it a unique piece.. that I enjoy to use .. to serve my tea - for - two
what disguise do you use?.. for the old and shabby accessories..or furniture.. who have shared your past.. when you change your decor..??..

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

coffee deserves respect..

making and drinking coffee is a real 'culture' in my country..
like the japanese tea ritual..we have the coffee ritual..
the turkish coffee has a much lighter colour.. and it is grounded thinner.. then the continental coffee..
you have to start by putting your coffee ground in cold water and adding the sugar at this moment..

you have to use a small long handled pot for preparing your coffee..
the fire must not be too hot.. because if it is cooked in a hurry.. the smell and taste will not be good..
you have to wait..while it gets ready.. you have to be right there.. this is experience talking.. coffee loves to surprise..
whenever you will turn your head.. or get lost in dreams.. it will boil over.. flood on the oven..
and the creamy bubbled part.. which is important for a good coffee.. will spill away.. don't hope it will not be noticed..
everyone will know at the first look .. you spilled the coffee..
if you boil it for a long time .. the bubbles will disappear.. but the taste being different.. they will know..it is not spilled but overboiled.. both are disgracious offer..
so you have to be there..right in front of the oven.. attentive.. to serve it in those small coffee cups.. just in time.. and you have to serve it with cool drinking water.. because the last sip of coffee will have some grind in it.. and people like to take a sip of water after they swallow their coffee..

there is a saying in my country to show the importance of coffee.. it says'' a cup of coffee deserves respect ( consideration ) for 40 years..

well if you have to concentrate in what you do.. and spend your time in doing something.. this is true that iy is worthy.. and respectable..and so are .. good relations..

I read an article today.. about coffee's importance in our lives..

*every cup coffee.. does'nt taste the same..it changes.. according to.. the person with who you drink..or the place where you drink..
*when you are sitting on the sea-side, on a windy day in autumn.... and sharing coffee with your best friend..who is crying from sorrow.. the taste is sad..the bitternes of her broken heart blends into the grounds of coffee..
*on a sunday afternoon.. the coffee you are preparing.. on your mother's request..'come on.. make a coffee..let us drink it together'.. tastes like serenity.. the bubbles over the coffee are reflected in your mother's eyes..
it leaves a fair smile.. at the corner of your mouth..
* in the middle of the night.. the coffee of a drunken man.. tastes like the effort of someone for climbing out of a deep well.. it feels as if you were holding the coffee-colored dense rope.. and you fall asleep.. as soon as you get out.. it tastes like ..relief..
*sharing coffee with your friends.. is joy.. laughters dance over the bubbles..
*late in the night.. alone on the balcony.. the coffee tastes like.. loneliness.. it is bitter.. but involves a different feeling.. of leisure..
*coffee you make for your father.. is full of love.. it doesn't look like coffee.. but it is hot.. steaming hot.. and the odor..is magic..
*a coffee served to you.. at an inexpected time ..is different.. it warms your heart ..
*when you are tired.. coffee makes you feel better.. and takes away the weight of the day..
*it might be the same coffee.. similar bubbles.. colour.. steam.. smell.. but every coffees you drink is absorbed and processed by your soul..and tastes.. different..
that is why..every coffee is not the same..

I remember the days we had coffee with my mother..
she was a tea person.. but now and then when she wanted a special time with me.. she came to my room's door.. and I still can see her there.. when I close my eyes.. her blue eyes shining as if within inside..joyful..
a faint of smile on her mount.. telling me.. I will not cook it..
first I didnot understand it.. what mother..?? what will you not cook..
coffee.. she answered.. and I said OK..I'll do it..
and we named the coffee.. I- won't-cook-it..sometimes my father answered us..OK I'll do it..
and this was a precious time..I don't share those dear moments.. this joke of 'I-wont-cook-it' with anyone now.. I'm waiting for my kids being old enough..
in the mean time I share my coffee with my friends.. my patients.. my lonely morning hours.. but I noticed I don't drink turkish coffee as frequently as used to do.. because the preparation takes a long time and attention.. which deserves waiting for a special time..

with whom do you share your coffee with???...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

which one?

I am home today.. I have the help..cleaning the house.. and I only have to prepare a meal..
and Idon't know which one.. stuffed vineleaves.. that we call sarma? or.. the manti.. which is similar to ravioli.. but always stuffed with minced meat.. and served with yoghourt??
which one would you prefer?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

do you see??

do you look through the eyes of a judge??
or do you see through the eyes of your heart??

be cause if you close the eyes of your heart..

you will miss the beauty of the signs

that surround you..
in your home and garden

and of the world.. that surrounds you

do you sometimes find hard to see things to be grateful??..
or feel you are misjudged.. unloved.. and even rejected..
even working with people and therefore being a very close withness to people's personal drama.. sometimes tragedy.. I am able to forget.. what is the most important thing on earth..
I do find life hard and unjust.. sometimes..
and have to pinch myself.. to show myself that life is a wonderful gift..
and as we are not sure how long will our life last.. and that all the rest is unknown too..
we have to savor every moment.. every breath.. every word.. in kindness we have to pass our limited time ..

life is the most important and precious thing.. so don't spend it ..


Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes
to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,
if you want to be held.

Sit down in this circle.


Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence

Mevlana Rumi

Friday, October 13, 2006

I can.. can you??

this photo has been taken by my son.. and saved.. on my phone.. under the name..
can you stand against the world.. like this??
told you he has a philosophy..
did you ever read Orhan Pamuk..
one of my favorite writers..
who uses our language in such a beautiful way..
and he has won the Nobel Prize..
what a pride ..
have a nice friday..

Thursday, October 12, 2006

WIP finished..rosy and cosy..

I have to girls..in my house..and I like girls wearing pink.. my rose bud.. you already know her..
and you remember my yummy yarn and that I mentioned I had a special project in my mind.. well it is finished.. It has been a talking about and designing as you knit project.. and my bud as a generous one.. has been my mannequin.. before she went to school.. while waiting for the schoolbus.. it was 07.15 AM.. and she is still sleepy.. the light is greyish.. I wanted to make a 'manchon' for her.. like those victorian ones.. seen on vintage postcards..
it would be hanged around her neck.. by a ribbon.. no.. a knitted strap.. no.. it is better to make a combined neck warmer.. and if this was large enough to cover her head when needed??.. and.. to prevent the 'manchon' to be used separately..and to be lost why not stich both of them.. and as the yarn is not heavy enaough to carry the weight of two hands.. why not line it with polar.. pink.. no beige.. she likes beige.. and how to stich the knitted yarn and polar lining.. blanket stich..perfect.. and if the strap get longer..and longer.. no..we will use same colour sewing string.. and it will be OK.. so she wears it as a turtleneck..
and as.. a hat-.. she looks very romantic doesn't she.. .. and the second girl is the white porcelain..who finally has a container.. and pink flowers..
I enjoyed them a lot..did you.. enjoy your day.. your craft.. your life today..

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

the answer..the tag..

the guess-what?? game.. looks always simpler than it is.. than it seems to be.. and so was mine..
In fact the pictures of yesterday show the inside...of an accordion..The metal parts of the second picture are inserted in the wooden cage of the first picture.. and placed just at the base of the keys.. and the last photo was the accordion part and wasn't the hand painted wall paper beautiful ?? I know that the pictures don't do justice to the real thing..
I found it at the antique shop.. and it reminded me of my bro-in-law..he plays accordion and enjoys so much that it becomes a contaminating joy.. not only due to the music he makes.. but his expression.. and bady language are so vivid.. that you feel joy listening to his music..and watching at him .. and when I saw this child size shiny gold coloured bakelite accordion..
in perfect condition but not emitting a single note..instead of notes I heard a tickle tickle .. some broken parts??.. I bought it for him.. maybe he would fix it.. even if not..he could use it as a decor in his office.. and he did fix it.. the problem was simpler than it seemed ( this is the difference between guessing and problem solving) .. and these photos were taken during the operation.. now we can enjoy the sound of his music..


I never had an idea..that I was in deep belief..that I was the most normal person on earth..
until I have been tagged..by

when I read the post..I started to think..do I have any odd behaviour??..or reaction??. I can not find any..
so.. I asked my husband..
-do I have any.. weird property or habit??..
-how .do you mean??..
-well something that you notice in me.. and that you have not met in other persons..
my son answered this question..
-he has married you for your..weird habits mummy.. he cannot see them..
I told him
-so you answer..
well let us think.. you are weird because..you always fight with the past.. the decisions you made .. which were wrong.. but which were in the past.. ( he means analysing the past I hope ) but you don't get angry towards the fact of the moment ..
I said.. I am a doctor.. I have to know the history of the disease..before treating it.. he looked up and said.. that is another weirdness.. you have your opinions..you insist on them.. and when argued you take it personally..
(this boy is getting worse everyday.. I accept that he has some philosophy.. and he knows to look beyond what is on scene.. but I don't like being the center of his attention?? or interest?? I have to be a powerful parent.. not a humble someone.. )
At this point .. my daughter said.. you quarrel with God.. when the trousers are falling.. =S.. the father and the son looked up at me.. with interest.. fun..
no..no.. not the way you think.. well I was in a hurry.. trying to get out of the house and go to work on time.. the trousers fell down three times.. four.. from where I hang them.. and of course I asked God nicely.. why my life is so complicated.. and why I am always in a hurry.. with too many things to finish on time.. and that if I could understand this.. I would be less reactive.. a better person..but.. as always.. I could get no answer.. not a visible ot audible one at least.. I am waiting for indirect signs.. when I came out of my room.. I met my daughte who had overheard me ..and she asked me.. to whom were you ....ing??..
I answered ..to God.. do you want anything from me?? I am in a hurry..I have to go out immediately.. she looked.. and replied.. mom.. are you nuts??.. I said no darling.. I am OK..

well .. thank you Cat.. at least .. I learned that my kids and husband think about me.. they think I am a looser and crazy-woman .. and he thinks I am not an interesting person .. an ordinary woman ..well keep waiting..you will see..

you can believe that I live in a funny home.. full of stand-up show performers..
I am taking notes when I can.. and one day I'll write a post about it.. dialogues from my house..
This tagging was about what you think about yourself..right??.. so here we go..

1-I never let anyone look in my magazines..or books.. before I first read them.. I must be the first to open the pages.. well they don't have anymore this nostalgic ink smell they used to be when I was young.. but I fancy there is..
and if someone.. looks in them before I do.. it is violation of my rights..

2-I always feel cold.. cold..in the house..in the car.. but I can work for hours in the garden..even when it is really cold.. I don't notice it.. as soon as I am finished.. I start to freeze..

3-I can't play a single note..on any music instrument.. but I notice the slightest false note or variation.. and I can Tralala..the whole Carmina Burana for example.. when someone is trying to remember the notes of a specific music.. I tralala it.. and they play..

4-I love coats .. I can go out to buy a bread and come back with a coat.. easiest think I buy..can decide in minutes..(this reminds me I owe a pretended coat challenge to Alicia )

5-When I start to buy one kind of object I go on with it.... you know the white angels.. I don't know how it started.. but it will go on for a period.. and then.. It will be for some other object.. mugs for example..or vases.. I have lots of everything.. they belong to periods.. I suddenly get tired of it.. and swich to another object..(blue period..purple period.. white period.. ??)
here are my oddities..I have to tag some others now.. and I tag..
Sandy.. and Colette .. and Corey.. if they would answer..
have a nice day.. enjoy..

Monday, October 09, 2006

what is this

I like tongue-in-cheek's mysteries.. I like to play the guess what game..
and now it is my turn.. This is the first time I saw it.. and would never guess .. such a simple design.. creating such a nostalging feeling.. this is the inside.. and parts of a music instrument.. guess which one.. I know I know the photos are blurred.. but I only had my phone camera when this happened.. so use your imagination to sharpen them =))..

Saturday, October 07, 2006

I have a bud.. in my arms..

my daughter is very happy and excited.. she woke up at 7.00 AM even there is no school today.. she said she couldn't sleep .. all this is because..
she received a phone call yesterday..from a friend of her.. who has invited her to the scene of a turkish serial..to see the shooting of the film.. and most important.. to meet the actors.. her father being one of the sponsors.. they were invited.. and we accepted.. no other chance..
she loves this serial.. she is a fan the youngman who is the main actor.. and I must say he is quite attractive ( go on.. click the link..you will not be disappointed =)) too..
and I love to watch this serial with my daughter.. and I don't deny that this young-man.. is not worth watching.. but I also watch my daughter.. she is tweeting like little birds.. and moving constantly like a hamster.. as long as she watches..she is so impressed.. she laughs.. talks to herself..makes mimics..
my daughter wants to become an actress.. she is beautiful.. and so energetic.. she plays piano.. she sings at the chorus of her school.. she is taking ballet courses.. goes to theatre courses.. she would be a good actress.. because.. she observes.. and is already someone who is using her body to express herself..
she fills me with joy.. and watching her.. is like watching a bud opening.. you cannot guess what the flower will be like.. but can feel it is beautiful..
there is a bud in my arms.. a woman bud.. and an actress bud.. and I love my bud..
have a good day dear.. enjoy your youth and potentials.. and I will enjoy your beauty..and your purity..

Friday, October 06, 2006


Did you notice the variations of communication between bloggers ..I did.. there are those wonderful ladies..who write you personal e-mails to thank you and to reply your comment..as those well-educated ladies of victorian times..who were writing thank you notes ..sitting at their small.. beautiful.. intricated desks..there are those who write a following note.. at the end of each comment left to their blogs..just to show they noticed and appreciated your visit..there are those who visit the blogs of their commenter.. commenting at the post and saying thank you for the visit.. (there is a nice idiom in turkish for these..I can translate it as the ''return-visit''..which is a must of etiquette..in my country..and there are those who from time to time write a post about how glad they are from the visits and the comments at theirblog..thanking all visitors in general..and there are those who do the one or the other.. randomly.. without any specific pattern..
I understand that this is a reflection of our daily comportment to the virtual life....this also shows of how formal.. how distant.. how sincere..how reserved.. how eager we respond.. to people we meet in our non-virtual ..real life..and it also relies ..of course.. with the amount of time we have to communicate.. because this is what we do when we start a blog..communicating..we start thinking we are meditating by ourselves.. then some comments are written..and we start to communicate.. I was a lucky one ..because I first started to comment .. and then I made myself a blog.. so it has been interactive even from the first day.. first post.. and for this I am really thankful especialy to Sandy.. who unfortunately is so busy nowadays.. that she doesn't blog .. ( OOh I miss you Sandy.. your short and energetic posts..and beautiful art.. where are you..??)
back to the subject.. time is important..because.. hand-crafting.. choosing and buying the materials needed..finishing the project.. taking pictures.. uploading them.. and writing.. visiting our favorite blogs.. leaving comments.. reading our own comments takes a considerable time already..and there is a real-life we leave.. house-chores.. kids.. professions.. families.. friends..pets..plants.. an ongoing.. always changing but never-ending 'things to-do' list .. in which there are miscellaneous items ..from school-meetings..to regular market shoppings..gift choosings.. dentist appointments..and against the length of the of the list.. there are still those wonderful persons.. who find.. time to see you.. notice you.. and make you understand..they saw you..by writing to you..when I see those better then perfect.. thank you notes..comments to comments.. I feel ashamed.. suppressed under the generosity of the replier..
I am not the organized - and perfect person.. I would love to be..
Do you remember the novel Rebecca..written by Daphne Du Maurier..and the movie..which I believe is one of the best to demonstrate how A. Hitchcock's unimitably creates a sinister athmosphere..so easily ..and the characteres.. Laurence Olivier.. and Joan Fontain.. oh she was fantastic in acting the perfect 'shy' second- wife.. did I get you to the point..well remember now.. the first morning at Mannerly after breakfast..she has to sit at the desk of the late-lady of the house and how the servants are waiting for her to prepare the menu for the dinner .. to choose the sauce and wine to go with it.. how she has to learn the persons to invite..to visit.. and notes to be written..the poor new lady of the house being so frightened.. of all the tasks she has to perform.. and everyday.. she must have been totally taken aback.. have you ever thought of the responsability you had to take over accepting a propsal.. any.. marriage.. friendship.. motherhood.. being a parent - when your kids started school.. a new work ..would you still accept if you knew every detail??.. at least in work it goes better.. there is a trial period which saves lots.. for the worker and the boss.. and you can both take it easy when one of you thinks this is not the best position for you.. but.. when you decide to be a mother.. there is no 'I am sorry.. I can't handle.. I quit..'' well not normally.. or being married .. it is a serious change of life style.. and it is not so easy to reverse the position without harm being done..
well I talk too much.. what I try to exprime is that..if we go back to my example..Rebecca.. the late _ lady of the house .. who had overtaken all these activities.. with a steel hand ..I am sure.. and also found time to enjoy.. and would go on like this.. if someone did not decide to execute her.. I said wow to her..what an organized personality.. and I didnot like at all the shy .. timid.. new lady..I am not shy.. nor as social active as Rebecca.. I start to believe that those super women.. he- women.. exist really.. and they don't have servants and housemaids.. therefore take care of the killing .. routine.. time consuming .. house chores.. and as the world is not limited to the people who live at the same town.. thanks to the internet.. they can also contact.. the world .. by touching some keys.. no..no.. It is not at all that simple.. it is complicated and Iknow I repeat.. time consuming.. process of entering user names..passwords..approval codes..etc..this means they really care.. to show their appreciation.. their empathy.. and have all their own way.. and style..
Me?? I am just a woman.. who wants to try to live..life..in all the ways.. crafting..parenting..working..going out.. sightseeing..experiencing sharing..good wishing.. goodwilling..and blogging.. too..I read the comments made to my blog.. avidly.. I re-read sometimes.. and I am also a non randomized replier.. if I feel to be public visit your site and leave a public message.. sometimes I choose a more personal message.. and this is the general thank you post.. for all of you who salute me in the webspace.. after all..this post could be as short as.. '' thank you all for your generous comments on my blog and also for your kind replies to my comments..I enjoy being here.. and reading and writing and exchanging process..I am soo happy that you exist.. knowing you are out there.. makes me feel better.. and I wanted you to know this.. enjoy..your life.. '' and have a very nice weekend..

ps.. written on my notebook..for some time.. added end substracted feelings.. and sentences..and posted today.. because I really belive that it is ripe enough..to be posted..

photo.. the view from my small week-end cottage's garden .. over the Marmara Sea..