Wednesday, October 08, 2008

wednesday dissertation : private heaven on earth.....

S3700256

I have a blog in turkish.. the link is on the right.. for whoever would like to have a look.. I talk about this and that and all.. and a group wonderful readers.. friends.. do come to visit me..leaving profound comments and sometimes pushing me to think from another point of view..

yesterday I was not in the mood to add a post.. but knowing they are waiting for one.. /yes I am proud to say this.. if I don't post everyone..is alarmed.. I am such an organized blogger over there.. hope I will be in this blog as well/ I added a paragraph I have read a long time ago.. from an interview with a turkish writer.. buket uzuner..

she was describing her small office.. lots of books on the bookshelves.. tables on which to read and write.. armchairs for nesting..lots of photos of istanbul and NY.. a pc.. coffee machine.. mugs.. and she notes..

"this is private heaven on earth for me.. because there I have only Myself as company ..

it is a great liberty for a human being .. to own four walls.. to sit and look at.. the photos.. or nothing.. as long as he/she wants .. without having to do nothing for nobody..

being alone with her/himself is important for everyone.. but for me.. this is a Must..

coffee odour in the room.. chopin or bülent ortaçgil playing ..I can hear the voices of the flower and pastry street sellers..but they are all outside.. and I spend time in my writing place.. reading .. writing.. thinking .. by Myself..

if I could't do this.. I wouldn't be Me"... she said..

I had cut the magazine and hidden it inside my organizer.. and have read it from time to time.. yesterday I added this to my blog and asked to my blogger friends.. where is Your Private Heaven on Earth..

all woman bloggers described very detailed places.. some a kind of a cosy livingroom cum library.. some a craft room.. some even a place where they have been before and loved very much.. some the countryside..

a male friend.. answered.. " my secret garden is my own brain.. this is the only place which I own totally "..

my first reaction was feeling sorry for him..it seems as though he feels uncomfortable in real life.. but then I thought..

lots of things.. and wrote today's post..in atalet blog..

and I wanted to share in here too.. trying to summarize.. as it has become two posts on one day..

why do women first describe a perfect place for themselves.. and why man can simply retract into their brain .. is it because we woman don't slet them have or design any place at home .. or is it because they don't take care of the decoration for dreaming.. or what?? what was the reason.. for woman to describe a place reflecting themselves..in order to be able to go to the same place as man =P .. into their own brain..

was it harder for women to concentrate or.. to dream.. are we all procrastinators??..

I am an avid reader of some newspaper column writers.. some are woman.. and some are working from home..I have read most of these ladies complaining about daily life problems intervening into their work.. such as their housemaids asking "what shall I cook for dinner.. I have to go to the super market.. or the washing machine is broken again .. shall I call the service" while they are in the middle of a very serious article..and they said.. I suspect male column writers having a similar problem..

at the hospital.. sometimes my kids call me while I am examining a patient to talk about something really simple.. and don't want to call later.. want to talk right away.. they have never done this to my husband..they have tried once.. but he resisted .. saying I don't want to be called for this kind of things.. I am a doctor.. I work.. and they obeyed.. not me.. I am doctor.. and I work..=P..

another woman feminist writer zeynep oral told once.. "even in the most democratic countries.. or places.. or couples.. life isn't "sharing equally" it is "dividing"..the responsabilities.. between the couples.."

and I agree.. I don't want to blame men for this..

the perfectionist and detailed way of thinking of women has its contribution in it .. can you expect from a man to understand why you are tidying up your bedroom too while you have only invited people over dinner.. =P..a man does this and changes the sheets under very different conditions than family receptions..=D a woman does it..often.. because she thinks.. if .. in case.. anyone suddenly faints or has to make an intimate phone call and needs to go in the bedroom..=P

and also our kids have a contribution in it .. I always used to send over my DH when our son was a baby and wept during the night.. he was a quiet little boy and just needed a gentle tapping to go back to sleep..and DH could do this.. It went on until the day.. my son rose up in the bed and asked for "mommyyyyy... not dadyyyyy"..

yes..of course kids have their rights and choices.. as well as DH's.. and family.. and close friends .. they have their rights .. and choices..

and we woman.. starting from the moment we wake up..we have to think about.. take care.. prepare.. organise.. things.. for our family life.. which I adore.. do not misunderstand my thoughts as complainings.. these are just observations.. dissertations..

and when someone asks women suddenly.. what could be heaven on earth for "yourself".. they are describing a tidy.. comfy.. beautiful.. feminine place.. with music they prefer.. and normally this is a place to "be alone".. and "do what You want" place.. they design a place .. in order to go to the same place as men.. into their own brains..

this male blogger friend of mine.. he said there are flying elephants over a muticloured sky and other extraordinary things in there.. in his brain..

when .. women go into our brains.. to find lists... things to do lists .. things that haven't been done lists .. things not done and therefore disturbing our conscience lists.. and these push us out..into real world again..

I told to my friend.. "don't be plaintive.. this is luxury.. heaven on earth being your own brain.. and this.. being the only place that you really own..

because we don't own it either..

***************

I have added the cover photo of "country homes &interiors" october issue.. I loved this corner.. couldn't find it on their website.. so I took a photo of the photo =D.. adding my reading glasses.. to go and visit this photographer's site..click HERE she has taken lots of "heaven on earth" photos..=)

***************

I have decided to start .. wendesdaydissertations .. and friday writers ..categories.. I hope I can .. and promess they will not all be so long..=P

***************

buket uzuner is a turkish woman writer.. she has novels and travel notes published in english as well.. I loved" the long white cloud gallipoli".. a fancy novel about the love and marriage of an ANZAK .. soldier and a turkish country girl during the WW I..

you can of course tell me before you leave .. what would be your private "heaven on earth".. and comment about differences of life between "men and women".. as much as you wish..

1 comment:

Britt-Arnhild said...

A very reflective post Pinar.

My first impulse would be to say that my heaven on earth is my studio (I plan to post from my studio and the shelf where I keep my books about India in my blog tomorrow). In many ways my studio is my heaven, my sanctuary.....but it can not be the whole truth. With my extensive travelling I need to make heaven as I go, bringing books, my diary, my ipod with my favorite music, brushes and colours sometimes, a knitting......in many ways I agree with your male reader, heaven is in my own brain......but that is also only party true.

May be I can say my heaven on earth is to live the life fully, the way My Creator has meant me to live it?

I am not sure.....